my mom is blowing off my baby shower

Doodle2011

wtf??

Ugh, my mom has not been the same for over a year now.  She left my dad at the beginning of the year (was plotting this all during my wedding last fall, so she was acting weird then too).  She just told me last night, after having already rsvp'ed yes, that she is probably not coming down for my baby shower next weekend after all.  This is the first grandkid on my side of the family.  She has a volunteer training class that goes until 4:00 PM on Friday, and doesn't want to be on the road after dark by herself.  As for flying, she says she priced a few flights but didn't think the "expense was worth it for a baby shower".  Um, hello...it's not just about the shower, it's about seeing me, your daughter, pregnant while you can.  I don't know why I am bothered, considering she was only going to come for the day anyway.  She was planning on driving from Ohio to my half-sister's house in Tennessee, and they were going to drive down for the day together and then go back, so essentially she would spend two nights with her step-daughter, and zero nights with me.  Whatever.  Just needed to vent. 

Millie07

boo, sorry you have to deal with this!

rp30318

I am so sorry- that would certainly hurt my feelings.

 Have you told her how you feel and that it's important to you?

pawcall

It would hurt my feelings too   I'm sorry.

AppleMomma

That is very hurtful. I'm so sorry.

tfarabians

I'm so sorry!  That is a pretty low blow for your mom to do.  I would be sure to tell her how you feel since she is so ready to tell you how inconvienient it is for her!

mbh10220

tfarabians:

I'm so sorry!  That is a pretty low blow for your mom to do.  I would be sure to tell her how you feel since she is so ready to tell you how inconvienient it is for her!

Ditto!  At least if you let her know how you feel you'll get it off your chest and maybe she'll realize how wrong she is.

Sorry you have to deal with this.  =[  Hang in there!

swrlygrl

that blows! I hope she changes her mind

 

my mom didn't make it to my wedding shower which I at the time didn't think would matter but afterward I was alittle sad about and told her there was no way she was missing my baby shower since this will be the only grandchild for my side of the family

SND2010

Ouch! What the heck man? I would have totally lost it if my mom said that. My mom lives in PA and I live in Wasington state.... if she could afford to fly here for my shower and after the birth of the baby she would. Mom's need to be there! I don't know how your relationship is (sounds like perhaps its strained) but I would definitely say something.

ildali

HUGS! talk to her at this point what do you have to lose? she already is being mean so who cares if you think you will strain the relationship or hurt her feelings, she is the one blowing you off!

NJBrit

I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds like your mother has become a different person in the past year or so, based on what you've said in your posts. She sounds extremely unhappy and depressed right now. I think you should let he know how much she's hurting you, either on the phone or in a letter. Her behavior is really affecting you, and it might help to get it off your chest.

My mother won't be at my shower either, and hasn't made any plans to come to see the baby once it's here. It's completely not a priority for her, even though it was when my half sister gave birth (she's my mother's step daughter). It's hard not to get jealous about it.

You're definitely not alone  

missjd07

that sucks.. I'm sorry you're dealing with that.

pixieprincss

I am sorry that you are disappointed. Is it a financial issue where she cam only afford to come once in the next six months and she'd rather come when the baby is here than before? If not, does she know that it is really important to you? She may not know.

Doodle2011

I'm going to write her to tell her how I feel.  I started bawling today in the car telling my friend (the hostess of the shower) about it.  I am just really disappointed that it's not a priority for her.  I don't think it's about the money.  And our relationship is definitely different than it has been in the past.  She has changed, and though I want to and try to respect what she is going through in her own life, I am confused as to why it seems to be spilling over into her relationships with people other than my dad.  I didn't give her a hard time about her decision to leave him, but I have told her that I expect them to get along if we all get together, and if they can't, then I will be happy to visit them separately.  As for her being so tight with my sister, I have never begrudged it, because she and I were equally tight.  But ever since I met my DH and got engaged, I have sensed this disapproval from her, and it has colored the milestones in my life (engagement, wedding, now baby).  My DH is amazing, and it saddens me that she hasn't seemed to embrace that I feel that way about him.  She is missing out.