Should I be happy or pissed?!?

Kristine11

(SORRY FOR THE CAPS) I'LL TRY AND MAKE THIS SHORT ... MY FIANCE'S AUNT HAS BEEN BUYING OUTFITS, TOWELS, TOYS, ETC. EVER SINCE WE FOUND OUT THE SEX, WHICH IS REALLY NICE AND I'M VERY GREATFUL. WELL TODAY SHE CALLED MY FUTURE MIL AND TOLD HER SHE WANTS TO GET ONE OF OUR BIG ITEMS, EITHER THE SWING OR TRAVEL SYSTEM! WHICH I THOUGHT WAS AMAZING AND VERY THOUGHTFUL. HOWEVER SHE THEN SAID THE AUNT DIDN'T "LIKE" THE ONES WE REGISTERED FOR SO SHE IS GOING TO PICK OUT THE ONE SHE LIKES. NOW I KNOW NOT EVERYONE BUYS OFF THE REGISTERY BUT WE PICKED THOSE ITEMS BASED ON SAFETY RATINGS AND REVIEWS AND BECAUSE *WE* LIKED THEM! SO ON ONE HAND I'M GREATFUL BUT PART OF ME CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL DISRESPECTED/UPSET. I KNOW I CAN RETURN IT BUT I FEEL RUDE DOING THAT SINCE ITS A BIG ITEM AND NOT JUST AN OUTFIT OR TOWEL SET. SO AM I JUST BEING UNGREATFUL OR WOULD YOU BE UPSET TOO? WWYD?

Tracy6450

For me, DH and I are picky about things like that and while the gesture of the gift is a very nice thing I also believe that people should be respectful of your wishes or they just shouldn't buy you a gift at all.  I would say something maybe you your future MIL and ask her to buffer the situation but if his aunt ends up buying you a pattern that you don't like or an item with a safety rating that doesn't make you feel comfortable then just return it. 

CAB'smommy

I'd ask MIL (since she seems to be the middle man) to tell this aunt that you picked those specific items not just for the pattern but for the safety ratings.  Many people in the generation above us don't understand this as they didn't have that many options when they had kids.  I know when I tell my mom things like this, she is amazed.  

pawcall

CAB'smommy:

I'd ask MIL (since she seems to be the middle man) to tell this aunt that you picked those specific items not just for the pattern but for the safety ratings.  Many people in the generation above us don't understand this as they didn't have that many options when they had kids.  I know when I tell my mom things like this, she is amazed.  

This exactly.  My mom is completely shocked at how many choices we have and what the differences are.  When she had all of us, you just went to the store and bought whichever thing looked prettiest to you.  If you were lucky, there were a few options.  

I completely understand how you feel, and in your position, I would try to have MIL run interference.  If it doesn't work and your aunt still picks something random, I'd thank her profusely and exchange it.

Plaza81

I agree with all the other posts. Try to diffuse the situation before she buys the item, by reminding her that you chose those items for specific reasons. If she doesn't get the hint, don't feel guilty if you exchange them. She has still technically purchase you a big ticket item, you just had to do a little leg work.

I always look at the big items as non-negotiable on registries. They are an investment, which means you've looked in to what you want. But, yeah, people just don't get it sometimes. 

Mikejustine

I'd graciously accept the gift and then return it for the one you want. If she asks, just say that there was a safety recall or something like that. I wish people would just stop being so annoying and buy things off of registries...thats what they are there for!

honey740

Mikejustine:

I'd graciously accept the gift and then return it for the one you want. If she asks, just say that there was a safety recall or something like that. I wish people would just stop being so annoying and buy things off of registries...thats what they are there for!

This just exchange it 

swrlygrl

We just when through this with my mother in law about our travel system because we went with a more streamline lightweight on vs. The giant graco system. DH tried to explain it but she just got offended. I called a couple days later played it off like I didn't know they spoke and explained why we had picked certain things based on saftey our lifestyle and DH height. In the end it went well being upfront about it, but then again my shower hasn't happened yet either.

williaw

Just return it for the one you picked out.

Kristine11

THANKS LADIES. I'M GLAD I'M NOT BEING A TOTAL B*tCH ABOUT THIS BY BEING UPSET AND DISAPPOINTED.

I CALLED MIL BUT SHE SAID THE AUNT BOUGHT THE GIFT YESTERDAY AFTER THEY SPOKE ... SO I'LL FIND OUT WHAT IT IS NOV 7 AND EXCHANGE IT NOV 8!

I THINK I'LL USE THE SAFETY RECALL EXCUSE. 

carrie52280

I would be somewhat upset, but at the same time, I would just return it and get the one I want after the fact.  You have your reasons for selecting the items that you did and she may not necessarily realize it.  She is probably just going by design/style.  Good luck...who knows maybe you will like the one she decides to get you never know.