May 2011 Moms

Is it okay to tell family, via email/text/phone

now that my last post has convinced me to spill the beans to my boss and DH family. I need some reassurance that its okay to tell them in text/email/phone. Dh said he wants to tell them in person but i think its a little weird to tell in person. My mom it was different, but id rather give them time to take it in and then reply.

so is it okay? or should we tell his parents in person?

DS  Desmond Alexander 6.9.11

DD  Vivienne Elena   12.16.13

? EDD 3/29/2018

Re: Is it okay to tell family, via email/text/phone

  • How nearby are his parents. If it is doable..that is a total face to face. For us they are 9 hrs away so we did a phone call at least. Email is too impersonal. As for your boss...again, face to face might be best.

    Extended family and totally ok.

  • I think that it really depends on the people you are telling.  If you think that your mom will need time to digest, then perhaps you should tell her via e-mail.  For me personally, it was important to me that I saw my mom's reaction.  She lives far away and I couldn't wait until we saw her next so we did it via Skype.  Only you know what is best in that situation.  I kind of feel like with the relationship I have with my family it would be strange for me to tell them via text or e-mail.

    For your boss, I'd suggest in person.  He/She will have questions to ask of you (how long will you work, maternity leave, etc).  I think professionally you should just make a meeting with them to discuss your plan.

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  • I would say for your DH's family and your boss, it should be in person.  That is unless DH's family lives far away.  If so, I'd still say phone over email.

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  • For the most part, I think that the relationshps you've described are best if told in person (either face to face, or phone if distace separates you).

    On the other hand, I've admittedly told a couple people via picture mail - but it was more of a 'joke' that was followed by an immediate phone call.  For example, I sent my brother picture-mail of my first ultrasound, with the caption "guess what??"



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  • Remember this is your pregnancy, you and DH have to do what feels right. A friend of mine told everyone by text, this was also unexpected and I think she needed her space. Just remember you will get quite a few texts and calls right afterwards.

    Do what makes you both happy? Could you send a text to them when you are a block away?

  • Hahah I did! It's my 4th pregnancy (3rd baby), and I thought it would be funny! I wouldn't have if it was my 1st pregnancy though.  I actually told DH via picture text.  I sent him a picture of the BFP.  I had to tell my parents via Skype because they live in Hong Kong.
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  • I sent a pic of DS wearing a big brother tshirt via email to my parents and IL's.  My parents live a half hour away, but the IL's live five.  I wanted them to receive the news the same way.  We also told them over the phone when I was pregnant with DS.  I think they will be happy to hear the news either way.
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  • Tell over phone. Email and text are not as personal and people may feel like an afterthought if they receive it in message form.
  • With family and close friends, I think telling in person is best if possible.  I had to tell my brother over the phone because he lives 15 hours away.

    Email and text should be reserved for casual acquaintances IMO.

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  • We had to tell our families by phone since we don't live near them.  I would have liked to tell them all in person but know that would not be possible since my in-laws are 8 hours away and my parents are 14 hours away.
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  • DH is from NJ, and we live in VA.  I was not driving 8 hours to tell them in person.  We did it over the phone for his parents, brothers and close family members.  He has a HUGE family (50 first cousins, his parents are each one of 7), so there was no way I could call everyone individually.  DH's parents made a cute announcement and attached it to a blank email to the extended family.  It was perfect!  My family is very small, so I was able to call everyone.  I would not do text for anyone.  That seems very impersonal.

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