WWTCALD?

jinx75

So I was sitting here listening to the new girl in my office, the pregnant one, talk about her pregnancy (yes this is one of those times I wish I was deaf).  At any rate, she disclosed that she is due in February.   It got me thinking, as we have a pretty cut and dry attendance/sick leave policy.  If you were 5 months pregnant and job searching would you feel it was your responsibility to tell any potential employers that you were expecting and would be taking time off 4 month after starting?  Or would you feel it is your right to keep your pregnancy private?

carcrashheart

well, it actually is her right. i mean, i would feel obligated but would also keep my mouth shut. legally, employers cannot hold things such as an upcoming wedding (which means time off for a honeymoon) or pregnancy (time off to have the baby) against an applicant. they can ask, but the applicant does not have to answer. and if they do answer, it can be general knowledge. but it cannot be a reason for not hiring a person. that said, it's usually something that an interviewer is better off not asking because it can open up a higher risk of a discrimination lawsuit.

i went through an interview the day i started having complications. i did not say a word about the baby (at the time we thought it would be ok). i felt bad about it, but i needed a job.

oh, but in your case-the office does not have to hold her position for her when she leaves to have the baby. i believe it takes one year for FMLA to take effect, meaning they would be required to hold her position.

BabyTrippin

It is absolutely my right to keep my pregnancy private.  It would be against the equal opportunity laws to not hire someone simply because they are pregnant, but I'm sure they would find a "better" qualified applicant if they knew. 

itsmegin

IMO, employers know when they interview and hire a woman of childbearing age that she could become pregnant at any time, whether she's trying or not, in a relationship or married or not. She could already be pregnant. It's just a reality about most women.  It's probably nicer to let your employer know, but I think you have the right to keep it private and if they are seriously concerned they could hire a man or a post-menopausal woman.

CashewsMommy

I've been thinking about the same question! Although my job is a little different. I've been so worried about getting pregnant and being due when school starts next year, and them finally deciding to hire me on as a full time teacher. After 7 years of them not hiring me, (or anyone really) I personally think i'd wait for them to hire me, and then tell my principal.

This is what i've been doing with my Long Term Assignments. Well, the one in the spring I was due in May and it was supposed to end at the end of April. Perfect timing!! Then the teacher I was in for decided to be out until May 19th, which was a week before my due date. I talked with the principal then. I ended up taking a week and a half off when I did deliver Aurora, luckily they found someone really good to replace me, the sub. They needed a sub for the sub as the kids said. They were not expecting me to come back at all!! I only had 2 and a half weeks left in that position anyways.

jinx75

I guess what I am asking is not so much the legal side of it but if you personally would tell a potential employer if you were that far along.

MandaS08

I think I would tell them, but would wait until after an offer has been made.  I would want them to know as earlier as I was comfortable with, so that there wouldn't be any hard feelings on their part.

itsmegin

jinx75:

I guess what I am asking is not so much the legal side of it but if you personally would tell a potential employer if you were that far along.

I wouldn't because of what I said. I think they have to accept that it is possible when hiring a woman, and like a PP said, even though legally they can't discriminate, if it's a big concern they could hire a "more qualified" (AKA male, older woman) applicant who could not become or possibly be pregnant. 

millejj1

I would keep my mouth shut. They don't ask men if they are expecting to become a father and so it shouldn't be included in talking to a woman either.

Like pp said, they can't not hire you, but they can find a "better qualified applicant."  

One of the things I pay attention to in interviews though is the companies standard of family and what their policies are regarding time off for illness, bereavement etc. You can learn a lot about managers by what policies they have and it may end up not being someone you want to work for. 

BabyTrippin

jinx75:

I guess what I am asking is not so much the legal side of it but if you personally would tell a potential employer if you were that far along.

If I really needed the job, no I wouldn't.  Most HR departments have a policy against asking about pregnancy, kids at home or any kind of family details because it is unfair to the applicant and the law agrees.  The only time I might disclose it is if I there were possible health concerns related to the job.  Something like working with chemicals, lots of physical demands or things of that nature.  For a normal desk type job, nope.  They don't need to know until my doctor pulls me out of work or puts me on a restricted schedule.  Or it is so obvious a caveman could recognize my bump LOL!

carcrashheart

nope, i wouldn't. i didn't. it was like a knife through my heart when the woman asked if we had a family or were planning on starting a family sometime in the near future. i answered vaguely.

lorlei13

I found out I was pregnant 10 days after I found I was getting laid off so I was in this situation and waited until an offer was made before I told them I was pregnant.  I didn't want to start the job seeming like I had deceived them (even though I wasn't)  I wanted to make a good impression but I also didn't want to have them not hire me for a "more qualified" applicant.  Unfortunately, I had my D&C a week and a half before starting the position.

ravenorchid

I think I would wait until an offer has been made. Although at 5 mos I was showing pretty clearly, so I don't think I could have kept my pregnancy private then. If it was earlier on, first trimester, I would absolutely not tell my employer until I was at least 15 weeks.

shouldbworkin

If I was 5 mos PG, I wouldn't have to tell them, they would know.  But, the "rule of thumb" seems to be to tell them after you have an offer in hand.  If they liked you enough to hire you, chances are they will want to keep you on no matter what.  But, being honest from the beginning is a good policy. 

jinx75

shouldbworkin:

If I was 5 mos PG, I wouldn't have to tell them, they would know.  But, the "rule of thumb" seems to be to tell them after you have an offer in hand.  If they liked you enough to hire you, chances are they will want to keep you on no matter what.  But, being honest from the beginning is a good policy. 

 I agree with this.  Also if I was newly pregnant and job hunting I would not tell a potential employer even after an offer was made.  If I was 5 months along and for some reason they didn't figure it out in the interview than I would tell them as soon as I received an offer.

Cristine

I would tell them as soon as an offer was made. Our HR person has told us not to ask, and not to talk about it if they mention it because it puts the company in an awkward position. They don't want someone coming back and saying we didn't hire them because they're pregnant.