Multiples
Options

Multipes parents are better parents

I may be exaggerating but I have ran into a lot of parents lately who cannot keep their kids under control.  Today a woman at target was screaming her kids name as he ran around and destroyed displays- it was ridiculous.  Meanwhile the man behind me had twin boys, probably 3 yrs old and two other kids and he was in complete control.

I always run into multiple parents and families at the farmers markets and the kids are well behaved and the parents are calm.  The people at work calm me "Zen Momma" now because they were expecting me to be much more flustered with the twins!  I honestly think it has the opposite effect.

Watch now when they boys get older they will be nightmares! ;)

Re: Multipes parents are better parents

  • Options
    I'm totally making this up, but I'm hoping my inability to coddle and totally spoil them will make them better adjusted.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options

    I promise that you, too, will find yourself faced with a full-blown tantrum in the middle of Target.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Loading the player...
  • Options

    " I promise that you, too, will find yourself faced with a full-blown tantrum in the middle of Target."

     Couldn't agree with this more now that my sweet little ones are not so little or "sweet" anymore. ;)  My full blown tantrums have been when I have been out with my dd by herself, so go figure! :)

  • Options
    I would love that to be true, but have you ever noticed that a disproportionately high percentage of the families on Super Nanny have multiples? I think there's a good reason for that ... (not that we're worse parents, of course, but that multiples present some unique parenting challenges and lead to mass chaos at times ;)).
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
  • Options

    imagemacchiatto:
    I would love that to be true, but have you ever noticed that a disproportionately high percentage of the families on Super Nanny have multiples? I think there's a good reason for that ... (not that we're worse parents, of course, but that multiples present some unique parenting challenges and lead to mass chaos at times ;)).

     

    LOL! I totally feel like I need Supernanny at times! It's usually my kids that are pitching the fits at Target and running around like crazy people and/or laying on the floors.

    Now that the twins are in preschool I try to get all my errands done when they are there just so I can go to the store with one kid. LOL

    image
  • Options

    Hmmm - my girls are very well behaved but who knows if that is from them being multiples or not.

    I have a good friend with 3 kids - singletons.  They are the best behaved children I've ever seen. 

     

  • Options

    I don't mean to be rude.

    But that's highly "Judge-a-parent-by-one-inncident-when-it-could-happen-to-you" of you.

    Think of it this way:

    This past Monday night I took Gavin out by myself to Costco. In between frozen and soap, he started screaming because I walked down the aisle a tad to grab something. It lasted 30 minutes. Granted, I would have normally left because it was so bad, but we had BARE min. food at our house.

    You, as a fellow shopper, may have stopped and made the assumption that I can't control my child, or "control" his crying, or am a worse mother than you.

    What you don't know is that Gavin is suffering from emotional issues right now, because his mother died, and his father gave up on him (not that he really knows that). He also goes into panic-attack mode, and starts to hyper-ventialte if it doesn't stop in an hour. It also doesn't help that I have 2 daughters currently in a NICU, and I can't see them everyday.

     

    I know that comes across as bash-y...but I only say this because I got PLENTY of glares and scoffs on Monday. 

  • Options

    GiGi.....you opened up a big can of worms girl!

    I have to say, as easy as it is to judge the parents of the kid that flips out in public places, I really don't.  Kids behavior certaintly has to do with how they are parented/disciplined, but it also has to do with their personality.

    A good friend of mine is a fantastic mother and great disciplinarian.  She has two kids.  Her daughter is the sweetest angel of a girl that would barely make a move without her mother's permission.  Her son?  Some might call him a terror!  He's just always had a ton of energy and she constantly has to find outlets for him to use that energy.  He was a HANDFUL when he was really little- especially the 2-5 years.  It's not for lack of discipline that he acted that way.

    Here comes Baby #3! BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • Options

    as with all things- sometimes it's true- sometimes it's not...

    i know some really sh!tty MoMs  (IRL... not calling anyone out on here, lol).

    and i was the same kind of mom with my singleton that i am with my twins - so having twins didn't make me the awesome mom I am - i was always this awesome :) hehe

  • Options

    I should clarify- the kids weren't behaving that badly.  The mother was making it a WAY bigger deal than it needed to be. She was so high strung that she was making it worse.

    Also, my post was meant to be semi-sarcastic.  I know all kids are different.  It does seem that multiple parents are more relaxed though...

  • Options

    imagemacchiatto:
    I would love that to be true, but have you ever noticed that a disproportionately high percentage of the families on Super Nanny have multiples? I think there's a good reason for that ... (not that we're worse parents, of course, but that multiples present some unique parenting challenges and lead to mass chaos at times ;)).

    This soooo terrified me while I was pregnant that I couldn't watch the show! 

  • Options
    imageGiGi1221:

    imagemacchiatto:
    I would love that to be true, but have you ever noticed that a disproportionately high percentage of the families on Super Nanny have multiples? I think there's a good reason for that ... (not that we're worse parents, of course, but that multiples present some unique parenting challenges and lead to mass chaos at times ;)).

    This soooo terrified me while I was pregnant that I couldn't watch the show! 

    LOL! I watch it because I figure I can use the tips. :) 

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
  • Options
    Oh believe me I know I will- but I won't stand there screaming their names while they are all of 3 feet away from me. 
  • Options

    It's really hard to be zen when you have finished a day at work, have to run into a store for pull ups, toddler tylenol and some apples and your toddler is overtired. I really don't think you know enough about the circumstances to judge the mother for over reacting. I mean, you yourself judged her toddler as out of control and poorly behaved so perhaps she felt your annoying zen glare and tsk tsk tsking.

    I once had my child throw a tantrum in a parking lot in the heat of the day. Tossing herself on the asphalt while I sweated and tried to redirect, distract, and keep her from hauling out into traffic. I don't consider myself a bad mother, or my child out of control, but all of us have those moments.

     

    I did however get a lot of "good gracious look at that horrible child" looks from "zen" mothers pushing their well behaved 3 month olds into the mall.

    None of that helps anyone. Just FYI.

    image Josephine is 4.
  • Options

    imageGiGi1221:
    Oh believe me I know I will- but I won't stand there screaming their names while they are all of 3 feet away from me. 

    There is so much you don't know about the situation, or about her and what she's been through or is going through that you really haven't a clue what you'd do if you were her.

    But way to be awesome.

    image Josephine is 4.
  • Options
    imagelanie30:
     

    I did however get a lot of "good gracious look at that horrible child" looks from "zen" mothers pushing their well behaved 3 month olds into the mall.

    None of that helps anyone. Just FYI.

    LingOL at "well behaved 3 month olds."

    But yeah ... as one of my 21-month-olds went RUNNING down the driveway toward the street yesterday, laughing his head off while I tried to chase after him while carrying his clingy 21-month-old brother (who is terrified of our landlady, who happened to be outside) and I ended up setting Alex abruptly down on the driveway so I could catch Will in time, since he was just laughing at me and running harder as I called out, "Will! Stop! Come back here! That's dangerous!" ... I'm just glad there were no zen mamas watching at the time to witness my inability to "control" my young toddler.

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
  • Options

    My main question in most circumstances when a toddler is "running through a store" is why is the toddler not in a shopping cart or stroller?? ESPECIALLY if the kid is overtired or in a mood. Maybe I am opening up a whole new can of worms here, but I have a singleton then twins (who are only 3 months old, granted) but when DD was younger she was NEVER allowed to walk in a store unless there was virtually no one there or she was agreeable enough to hold my hand. If there was a situation where she was throwing a fit wanting to get out of the cart or stroller she was given a warning or two then we left. If we needed something desperately we got those few things and came back for the rest of the groceries another time. I was a WOHM before and SAHM now so I've been on both sides. Since she was an infant she was not allowed to be "free" in public so it was always the norm for her and we rarely had instances of rebellion about being in the cart at the store.

  • Options

    My main question in most circumstances when a toddler is "running through a store" is why is the toddler not in a shopping cart or stroller?? ESPECIALLY if the kid is overtired or in a mood. Maybe I am opening up a whole new can of worms here, but I have a singleton then twins (who are only 3 months old, granted) but when DD was younger she was NEVER allowed to walk in a store unless there was virtually no one there or she was agreeable enough to hold my hand. If there was a situation where she was throwing a fit wanting to get out of the cart or stroller she was given a warning or two then we left. If we needed something desperately we got those few things and came back for the rest of the groceries another time. I was a WOHM before and SAHM now so I've been on both sides. Since she was an infant she was not allowed to be "free" in public so it was always the norm for her and we rarely had instances of rebellion about being in the cart at the store.

    Yes yes, you are fantastic. So am I. Jo is  nearly always in the cart etc... but there are times when you don't have time to grab the stroller or the cart is just plain old dangerous because you have a climber who can undo straps, and you can't anticipate that your awesome kid is going to turn into a monster.

    You can sit and judge her or you can ask her if she wants a hand. Which I do a lot usually saying "next time you can help me with this monster, she's done that too."

    You haven't a clue of the circumstances, if she had another kid with her, but go on, multiple mothers are clearly better parents. 

    image Josephine is 4.
  • Options

    All I am saying is that toddlers will be toddlers - if you put them down, they will run around. If you don't want them running around, strap them into a cart or stroller or carry them. By age 2, there should be consequences for climbing out, etc....

    Get a hold of yourself - no one is saying they are better than anyone else.

  • Options
    imagekristyn&ken:

    Get a hold of yourself - no one is saying they are better than anyone else.

    Um ... see the title of this thread. ;)

    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"