I still don't like getting congratulations

AppleRidge

on this pregnancy.  Whenever I tell someone that I'm pregnant, or they learn it, I always want to say something like "well, we lost three pregnancies before this, so..."  I guess I want it to be acknowledged that this isn't all fun and games for us, that we worked and struggled to get here, that this isn't the first baby we've been excited for.

Anyone else feel this way? 

lovethebosox

I struggle with this too. I always want to share some of backstory, though I most often resist. With people I feel fairly comfortable with but whom don't know our history, I'll say something like, "It's been a pretty difficult road to get to this point, but we're very happy to be here."

mrstyson03

I definitely see where you're coming from. I feel something a little similar. It's not the congrats that I mind, but it's feeling like I'm going through this same cycle again that to date has never ended well for us. This time around I'm more numb than anything else though.

Amanda78

It freaks me out.  I want people to be excited and anticipating our LO, but I feel like I try to turn the conversation away from pregnancy and the baby a lot because I still feel afraid to be too excited and confident.

AppleRidge

mrstyson03:

I definitely see where you're coming from. I feel something a little similar. It's not the congrats that I mind, but it's feeling like I'm going through this same cycle again that to date has never ended well for us. This time around I'm more numb than anything else though.

Big hugs, and also, holy crap - you're almost in 2nd Tri! 

elizabeth&james

I totally struggle w/ this. I'm really working hard to be positive and not overshare our history- outside of immediate family and a couple close friends, nobody knows our history. I hate that I always have the urge to tamp down the excitement when ppl congratulate me. I want to be excited too- but I still feel compelled to acknowledge our past. The other day someone asked how far along I was, I told her, and she was like 'wow, can't believe you kept it a secret so long. well, I guess that's normal b/c you want to make sure nothing goes wrong' - I guess I felt offended about ppl talking so casually about m/c. Thanks for posting- glad to know I'm not alone. This is one heck of a journey!

sinisterkat01

I used to feel that way, even after one loss.  That's part of the reason that we waited so long to tell anyone, including our famillies.

johannaknip

It bothers me when people act offended I didn't tell them sooner. It made me BSC when my MIL tried to make me feel like this baby wasn't celebrated because I didn't want it on facebook.Just because I don't want a huge banner flying over the city, doesn't mean we aren't happy. We are just guarded.

mrstyson03

BBHME:

mrstyson03:

I definitely see where you're coming from. I feel something a little similar. It's not the congrats that I mind, but it's feeling like I'm going through this same cycle again that to date has never ended well for us. This time around I'm more numb than anything else though.

Big hugs, and also, holy crap - you're almost in 2nd Tri! 

Big hugs right back at ya! Thanks!

grr_aargh

Still.

 

Yes.

catngar77

I feel you!   I think people must think I am weird becasue I don't act excited so I have to tell them about our loss.  I think the NT scan will be a milestone for us and I will hopefully feel a little more excited and be able to show it. Sucks!

mkoelker

I still get all weird when people ask me about her....It just comes with the territory... 

PeetiePie

Yup.  It's like everyone else is way more excited than I am.  Although, there are stretches where I'm pretty excited too. 

lilredheadgirl

Oh my, yes. I just can't take it when we get the typical "wheeeeeee!!" reaction. Yes, we are grateful to be pregnant again and excited for this baby, but it's just not like that for us. I think it comes back to the fact that when we lost our daughter we lost a certain innocence about pregnancy, and we lost the luxury of confidence in a positive outcome, no matter how likely it is in reality.