maybe this is better as it's own post? (lvery long)

magpiebride61210

Ok so don't flame me... I am late to the game tonight and trying to get caught up. I was reading and commenting on the newbie post from earlier and thought twice about posting this. Maybe it's just my abnormal hope for this cycle turning out to get my BFP. Or maybe I'm just crazy. I don't want to beat a dead horse, but I did realize after posting the comment below on an earlier thread... that I would like to know what you ladies thought.

So in regard to the BFP announcement theories, this is what I think:

(yes this has been asked and discussed so many times even I know this horse has been dead for weeks).

 

"So maybe I'll get crap for this thought, but it's just a thought. I can't decide how I feel about BFP announcements on this board. I know I've stirred the pot here in my first days and wouldn't want to do that again, so I know at this point I don't plan on announcing my own BFP when it does happen.

But as a new person to this board, let me just toss up this theory or thought to everyone. Again... just a thought.

The "core group" as it's been described has certian rights to their BFP announcements. Of course, it makes sense to. You have been on this board, giving support to many, many women. You've created bonds with others in your position, and after a long struggle to get that BFP, you are given the right to announce it on this board. A board you have fully supported during your time there. I totally understand that.

When we talk about the drive by BFP's and the goats, the reason they are seen as being "bad" (b/c my brain is half dead right now and i can't think of a better word) is because we do not know who they are! They never let us in, they never GAVE support, haven't been here long enough to have built up bonds, and thus to all of us here it is a stab in the heart. Some random woman puts up a BFP announcement and we have to read it. (which by the way we don't actually HAVE to read, I choose to read or not read posts that indicate a BFP is mentioned. that is of course assuming they put a warning in the post title). But for a newbie who doesn't really know ANYONE, fresh from her m/c, what is the difference between the goats and the seniors... on a basic level?

My point is this... for those of us NOT in that core group yet, simply b/c we're new... wouldn't we have the right to be just as hurt by a BFP post from one of those "core members" as we would any other goat? Not to say those two kinds of posters are at all the same, but on a basic level they might seem the same to a newbie. I try to post and comment as much as I can, but I'm very busy and it's hard to stay current. So though I recognize some of the more senior ladies here, I'm not really up to speed with who everyone is like the back of my hand. For me (and don't take this the wrong way) I take all BFP announcements the same. I might notice the difference in how each post is taken by the group, thus telling the difference, but I still don't feel as connected to either type of BFP announcement.

As i write this I realize my actual point. It's all about intention. When I see a drive by and I realize their intention was to be a bratt, then my opinion is formed. When I see a BFP with 50 comments full of well wishes, or a BFP announcement from a newbie who uses the right words and was in fact a member of this board, no matter how short of a time frame... my opinion is then formed. It's all about intention.

So maybe it would be easier to just make a strict rule that no BFP's are announced here. To avoid such conversations as this, and to avoid making ANY of the MANY board members feel uncomfortable. In reality there are more "newbies" than there are "seniors". Or... we can all try to just take each one as they come (which it seems most ladies do here anyway), and wait to be harsh or throw flames. I would LOVE to have a BFP to announce next week. I'd LOVE to share it with you women. Though I don't know you all THAT well, and you know me even less, this board has been my support and strength. You all make us this board, and I would find joy sharing with you the fact that you helped me through it.

Even with all that being said, I still don't think my (for now just a dream) BFP announcement would be taken well. I've been doing all I can to live on this board the right way, but even with my efforts I do not make the cut.

I'm sorry this was so long. I get going sometimes

 

here's to everyone reading this getting their BFP around the corner!"

 

(told you it was long)

 

Aubs13

So maybe it would be easier to just make a strict rule that no BFP's are announced here.

I disagree with this.  I want to see BFP annoucnements from the women who have been here for me, and who have allowed me to become a part of their "e-life".  I do not care, however, to hear a BFP announcement from someone that has not posted on this board, to give or get support.

This board goes through this phase every so often.  I've seen it several times since I've been here, and I know it went on before I joined, too. 

Its pretty simple...give support, get support.  While your first few days on the board may have been rocky, you have continued to give support since then.  I don't think most people would be offended to see a BFP post from you.

 

shouldbworkin

It's so tough.  I didn't post my BFP here b/c I felt too new.  I knew people (probably more than I know now the 2nd time around), but just felt too new to post.  I posted on PGAL and some people from here saw it and supported me, which was really nice.  And, normally I'd agree with you and say this is the way to go, except I can hardly stand to lurk there any more.  So, I think there is no right answer to this one.  I think people just need to use some common sense and compassion.  If you think your post will upset people here, then post on PGAL.  Doesn't mean you have to leave this board and stop giving support, though.  ;-)

magpiebride61210

shouldbworkin:

It's so tough.  I didn't post my BFP here b/c I felt too new.  I knew people (probably more than I know now the 2nd time around), but just felt too new to post.  I posted on PGAL and some people from here saw it and supported me, which was really nice.  And, normally I'd agree with you and say this is the way to go, except I can hardly stand to lurk there any more.  So, I think there is no right answer to this one.  I think people just need to use some common sense and compassion.  If you think your post will upset people here, then post on PGAL.  Doesn't mean you have to leave this board and stop giving support, though.  ;-)

 

I'm sorry for your losses. And I think you're right, common sense is key. I plan on using it, and just thought I'd share one thought I had. I'm not leaving, I plan on sticking around for as long as I'm in this part of my journey.

thanks!

magpiebride61210

Aubs13:

So maybe it would be easier to just make a strict rule that no BFP's are announced here.

I disagree with this.  I want to see BFP annoucnements from the women who have been here for me, and who have allowed me to become a part of their "e-life".  I do not care, however, to hear a BFP announcement from someone that has not posted on this board, to give or get support.

This board goes through this phase every so often.  I've seen it several times since I've been here, and I know it went on before I joined, too. 

Its pretty simple...give support, get support.  While your first few days on the board may have been rocky, you have continued to give support since then.  I don't think most people would be offended to see a BFP post from you.

 

thanks Aubs! You got it with the simplicity of it all... giving and getting support.I was just curious to know if anyone else might see it this way. Like I said, I still haven't figured it out myself. For now I just take each BFP announcement as they come. There are a lot of newbie's still trying to figure out how far into the cirlce they've made it, and it's a tricky stage.

AutumnLeavesFall

So I made it thru this.. and yes very long..lol

I understand what you mean with how a BFP for one of the "core group" could be hurtful for the newbies and a BFP from a newbie is considered a goat.

But I have grown to have a bond with alot of these women. I post everyday, many times a day. I am on pins and needles when (example) Ikissthecook posted she saw a faint line, or when Cashews posted she saw a line.. I want them to graduate and bring home a take home baby.

With this being said it's not that I don't wish a take home baby for everyone, but like I said I see the women on this board to be my extended family, my sisters who I greive with, laugh with and cry with. We all have our good times and our bad. But were there to pick each other up when we fall.

So when my bestfriends/family get that second line I sure as $hit want to know about it so I can cry out congrats!!

 

ColindaP

Uh, newbies =/= goats.

How many times must this be rehashed? 

ETA: and why does it suck for you to see BFPs from those of us who have been here for YEARS and have multiple losses? The whole thing about goats is you just don't bust into a pg loss support group and go "Guess what, non-pregnant, recently-miscarried people I don't know?! I'm preggers!!!" Not when it's someone who has been participating in the group. Grr_aargh, where are you with your ice cream cone analogy?  

BabyTrippin

Aubs13:

So maybe it would be easier to just make a strict rule that no BFP's are announced here.

I disagree with this.  I want to see BFP annoucnements from the women who have been here for me, and who have allowed me to become a part of their "e-life".  I do not care, however, to hear a BFP announcement from someone that has not posted on this board, to give or get support.

This board goes through this phase every so often.  I've seen it several times since I've been here, and I know it went on before I joined, too. 

Its pretty simple...give support, get support.  While your first few days on the board may have been rocky, you have continued to give support since then.  I don't think most people would be offended to see a BFP post from you.

 

This!  

I don't understand why the concept of give and get support is so hard for some (not necessarily you Magpie) to understand.  If you come in the board and your first 3 posts are "omg my nips are on fire" "I've peed 89 times since noon!" "Think I'm prego?" then you will get the side-eye.  When your 4th is "OMG SQUEE 2 PINK LINES!!1!!!" you're gonna get flamed. 

If you come in, intro yourself and spend even one cycle supporting and getting to know people, you'll get a congrats on your BFP.  You may not get the overwhelming response someone who's been here for 2 years would, but you won't be flamed.   Well, unless you say "Ha ha b!tches!  Got my BFP, fvck you losers!"

magpiebride61210

ColindaP:

Uh, newbies =/= goats.

How many times must this be rehashed? 

I see how when you read my post it might come across that way. But I do not think a newbie = a goat. I was just using the two extreems to show the difference. I get it, no need to rehash.

the newbie posts are very different from a goat post.

JayandTay09

I feel like no one will ever be happy with the answers to this argument...The horse is dead, lets stop beating it...

magpiebride61210

BabyTrippin:

Aubs13:

So maybe it would be easier to just make a strict rule that no BFP's are announced here.

I disagree with this.  I want to see BFP annoucnements from the women who have been here for me, and who have allowed me to become a part of their "e-life".  I do not care, however, to hear a BFP announcement from someone that has not posted on this board, to give or get support.

This board goes through this phase every so often.  I've seen it several times since I've been here, and I know it went on before I joined, too. 

Its pretty simple...give support, get support.  While your first few days on the board may have been rocky, you have continued to give support since then.  I don't think most people would be offended to see a BFP post from you.

 

This!  

I don't understand why the concept of give and get support is so hard for some (not necessarily you Magpie) to understand.  If you come in the board and your first 3 posts are "omg my nips are on fire" "I've peed 89 times since noon!" "Think I'm prego?" then you will get the side-eye.  When your 4th is "OMG SQUEE 2 PINK LINES!!1!!!" you're gonna get flamed. 

If you come in, intro yourself and spend even one cycle supporting and getting to know people, you'll get a congrats on your BFP.  You may not get the overwhelming response someone who's been here for 2 years would, but you won't be flamed.   Well, unless you say "Ha ha b!tches!  Got my BFP, fvck you losers!"

that makes perfect sense. thanks, actually that helps. I was trying to point out the situation a newbie might be in. been around for a cycle or two, not really in the mix yet, but still not a goat would feel. thanks for your answer. I appreciate it!

lookingformommyland

I'm a newbie and I sorta get what you're saying. But I think I get what the "core" group is saying a little more. I think of like this - after my m/c (3 weeks and 2 days to be exact) my unmarried, underage cousin called to announce his GF was pregnant. I was walking to the train and had literally just purchased "Pregnancy After a Loss" from Barnes and Noble. I nearly collapsed on the street. It hurt so bad! I didn't even remember that he had a GF. And now he was saying they were having a baby. It was a drive-by. He called me, shot me, and hung up.

Fast forward a few months, I got a picture message of a BFP from my BFF. I shrieked and immediately called her and said "OMG, are you serious?" I've never felt jealous or upset about her pregnancy. I've only been genuinely happy and beyond excited for what's happening to her. And it's not that I'm not happy for my cousin and his GF - it's just different. It was unexpected and kind of random.

So, it's not that anyone wouldn't happy for a newbie's BFP, but I think it just comes off as kind of random and unexpected.
 

 

magpiebride61210

ColindaP:

Uh, newbies =/= goats.

How many times must this be rehashed? 

ETA: and why does it suck for you to see BFPs from those of us who have been here for YEARS and have multiple losses? The whole thing about goats is you just don't bust into a pg loss support group and go "Guess what, non-pregnant, recently-miscarried people I don't know?! I'm preggers!!!" Not when it's someone who has been participating in the group. Grr_aargh, where are you with your ice cream cone analogy?  

sorry I missed this the first time. I just meant to ask "what do the ones in the middle do?" You know... the actual posters and supporters, who just haven't been around that long? Not a goat, but someone who is very new with good intentions. sorry, didn't mean to ruffle feathers, just thought I'd ask.

slgbreeden

Personally I know I'll always be a newbie. I also have a very busy life and only have time to post when I get home in the evenings or sometimes when I'm at work and get sucked in (this is bad addiction for me ha).

I'll never feel comfortable posting a bfp on the ttcal board but will go straight to just introducing myself (cautiously) on the pal board when the time comes. I know how we all have different feelings on the matter and I'm sure that changes from day to day too.

I use this board for support and to get answers to some questions. I try to give back as much as I take:)

LaceFace14

I for one totally get what you are saying. If you've been on the board for a week, it wouldn't matter to you if someone who has been here for months posts a bfp or a fellow newb. It would be two strangers with bfps to you. I see the other side too of course, I just know where your coming from. And even still, if a newb with say 15 posts was super supportive of me in one or two of those posts, and then got a bfp which she announced I might be happy for her while others might flame her. I've been here for months but only comment on a few posts per day and some days none and I would never post a bfp here because of that. Pretty sure it would not be well received.

kathymarie

lookingformommyland:

I'm a newbie and I sorta get what you're saying. But I think I get what the "core" group is saying a little more. I think of like this - after my m/c (3 weeks and 2 days to be exact) my unmarried, underage cousin called to announce his GF was pregnant. I was walking to the train and had literally just purchased "Pregnancy After a Loss" from Barnes and Noble. I nearly collapsed on the street. It hurt so bad! I didn't even remember that he had a GF. And now he was saying they were having a baby. It was a drive-by. He called me, shot me, and hung up.

Fast forward a few months, I got a picture message of a BFP from my BFF. I shrieked and immediately called her and said "OMG, are you serious?" I've never felt jealous or upset about her pregnancy. I've only been genuinely happy and beyond expected for what's happening to her. And it's not that I'm not happy for my cousin and his GF - it's just different. It was unexpected and kind of random.

So, it's not that anyone wouldn't happy for a newbie's BFP, but I think it just comes off as kind of random and unexpected. 

 

 

Good example to illustrate the point.

frogyie

magpiebride61210:

ColindaP:

Uh, newbies =/= goats.

How many times must this be rehashed? 

ETA: and why does it suck for you to see BFPs from those of us who have been here for YEARS and have multiple losses? The whole thing about goats is you just don't bust into a pg loss support group and go "Guess what, non-pregnant, recently-miscarried people I don't know?! I'm preggers!!!" Not when it's someone who has been participating in the group. Grr_aargh, where are you with your ice cream cone analogy?  

sorry I missed this the first time. I just meant to ask "what do the ones in the middle do?" You know... the actual posters and supporters, who just haven't been around that long? Not a goat, but someone who is very new with good intentions. sorry, didn't mean to ruffle feathers, just thought I'd ask.

the perfect example would probably be kbel424... I don't think she was here for a long time but a lot of us were so excited to hear about her BFP.  I would be happy for you if you got a BFP.  I still think memoriable siggies help alot in getting to know someone that way it makes us more recognizable (Like your beautiful wedding pic).   I guess the golden rule is that if you think it will hurt feelings don't post it and put it in your siggy (tastefully) for someone to find if you want to still post and give support.

When i got my post m/c BFP i was only on this board for 3 cycles but felt like i posted enough that the girls new me and would be happy for me, so I wasn't part of the "core" nor do I know if I am or not but that doesn't matter because  when it went south they were here to support me again.  

maddiemoon43

slgbreeden:

Personally I know I'll always be a newbie. I also have a very busy life and only have time to post when I get home in the evenings or sometimes when I'm at work and get sucked in (this is bad addiction for me ha).

I'll never feel comfortable posting a bfp on the ttcal board but will go straight to just introducing myself (cautiously) on the pal board when the time comes. I know how we all have different feelings on the matter and I'm sure that changes from day to day too.

I use this board for support and to get answers to some questions. I try to give back as much as I take:)

I have recognized all of your posts (and your gorgeous wedding pic) all week.

maddiemoon43

slgbreeden:

Personally I know I'll always be a newbie. I also have a very busy life and only have time to post when I get home in the evenings or sometimes when I'm at work and get sucked in (this is bad addiction for me ha).

I'll never feel comfortable posting a bfp on the ttcal board but will go straight to just introducing myself (cautiously) on the pal board when the time comes. I know how we all have different feelings on the matter and I'm sure that changes from day to day too.

I use this board for support and to get answers to some questions. I try to give back as much as I take:)

I have recognized all of your posts (and your gorgeous wedding pic) all week.

maddiemoon43

When I had m/c, I spent time on M/PL and then went back to TTGP.  By the time I was back on TTGP I could read and offer congrats without it hurting (too much.)

After C/P, I came straight here, and it WAS hard to see the BFP posts (it had only been a few days since loss) even if I could start to TTC again and felt this was the best place for me.  I couldn't open the BFP posts (and wouldn't have recognized regulars), and I certainly couldn't post well wishes (still tough, but am definately getting there).  THAT SAID, I KNEW which posts were BFP and which I needed to skip past. 

If a BFP post is clearly labeled, people can avoid it if their woulds are still too fresh, but the regulars and people who care about that person can open it and still celebrate together.  Even knowing there is a BFP might be hard, but it's easier to get practice seeing the title of a stranger's (who likely has a very deserving story and has experienced their own heartbreak), then one day working up to reading and answering them, and finally facing the inevitable IRL BFP announcement.

Moral of my long story....LABEL YOUR BFP POSTS IN A WAY THAT ENSURES NOBODY IS AMBUSHED AND SHAKEN IF THEY OPEN IT AND THEY AREN'T READY (and only if you have tried to be a part of the board too, of course).

rock-elle

oh FFS, you got into trouble because you were beating a dead horse last time and you are still doing it again..Or is this more accurate?

this happens everytime, why is it soo hard to grasp for everyone both new and old that you get what you give.  If you are not here that often because you are busy, thats fine we get it, why don't others get it??  (not you specifically mag, but in general.) So as others have mentioned, you get out what you put in. Why do I feel like I am beating the dead horse now. 

I choose to make this board my home and do I bump too much? yeah probably, but when few IRL "get" what we cast-a-ways are going through then this place makes me feel better.

As for not posting BFP's, that is the most assenine idea I have heard all day, I (as will you someday perhaps) have made what I consider life long friends here and the have every right...EVERY RIGHT to post their successes here.

If you have a very close group of friends IRL and some random comes in and starts to eff with and offend your group, I would hope you would be a little protective too.  I would hope you would want to say that that person should stay and get to know everybody.  I would hope you would want to help nurture a good environment to welcome that person and they towards you. 

But really these long winded dissertations on how come we can't get along is getting kinda' old.  If you (others in general) don't like us thats fine, we'll get over it, there are other chat rooms out there...like iVilliage

ikissedthecook

BabyTrippin:

Aubs13:

So maybe it would be easier to just make a strict rule that no BFP's are announced here.

I disagree with this.  I want to see BFP annoucnements from the women who have been here for me, and who have allowed me to become a part of their "e-life".  I do not care, however, to hear a BFP announcement from someone that has not posted on this board, to give or get support.

This board goes through this phase every so often.  I've seen it several times since I've been here, and I know it went on before I joined, too. 

Its pretty simple...give support, get support.  While your first few days on the board may have been rocky, you have continued to give support since then.  I don't think most people would be offended to see a BFP post from you.

 

This!  

I don't understand why the concept of give and get support is so hard for some (not necessarily you Magpie) to understand.  If you come in the board and your first 3 posts are "omg my nips are on fire" "I've peed 89 times since noon!" "Think I'm prego?" then you will get the side-eye.  When your 4th is "OMG SQUEE 2 PINK LINES!!1!!!" you're gonna get flamed. 

If you come in, intro yourself and spend even one cycle supporting and getting to know people, you'll get a congrats on your BFP.  You may not get the overwhelming response someone who's been here for 2 years would, but you won't be flamed.   Well, unless you say "Ha ha b!tches!  Got my BFP, fvck you losers!"

Darn, I was planning on using "got my BFP, fVCK you losers!" As the title to my post if I get a BFP tommorrow. I guess I'll have to come up with something else now. Thanks.

LilMaggs

Magpie, I'm glad you brought this up.  I can see both sides of the spectrum, and in reading everyone's responses I've learned quite a bit.

grr_aargh

ColindaP:

Uh, newbies =/= goats.

How many times must this be rehashed? 

ETA: and why does it suck for you to see BFPs from those of us who have been here for YEARS and have multiple losses? The whole thing about goats is you just don't bust into a pg loss support group and go "Guess what, non-pregnant, recently-miscarried people I don't know?! I'm preggers!!!" Not when it's someone who has been participating in the group. Grr_aargh, where are you with your ice cream cone analogy?  

So, there's this group of extra twitchy ladies standing near the ice cream store.  You don't know why they aren't eating ice cream.  Maybe one's on a diet, the other lost her wallet, and the third is lactose intolerant.  Who knows.  .  .  all YOU know is that they're not. eating. ice. cream. and they're all staring at the ice cream parlor with that "OMG I'D DO ANYTHING TO HAVE ICE CREAM" look on their faces.

And you're standing there with your triple fudge coconut almond triple scoop waffle cone (with SPRINKLES!) and you see those ladies. . . and you. . .

 

RUN RIGHT INTO THEIR CIRCLE AND SAY OMGOMGOMG I GOT SOME ICE CREAM FROM THAT STORE AND IT'S THE BEST ICE CREAM YOU EVER DREAMED OF AND ONE DAY YOU TOO CAN HAVE ICE CREAM BECAUSE ICE CREAM IS SOOOOOO AWESOME. 

Yeah, you don't know them, but you really should stop by to tell them about your ice cream.

 

So tell me. . . which one's gonna punch you first? 

lookingformommyland

grr_aargh:

ColindaP:

Uh, newbies =/= goats.

How many times must this be rehashed? 

ETA: and why does it suck for you to see BFPs from those of us who have been here for YEARS and have multiple losses? The whole thing about goats is you just don't bust into a pg loss support group and go "Guess what, non-pregnant, recently-miscarried people I don't know?! I'm preggers!!!" Not when it's someone who has been participating in the group. Grr_aargh, where are you with your ice cream cone analogy?  

So, there's this group of extra twitchy ladies standing near the ice cream store.  You don't know why they aren't eating ice cream.  Maybe one's on a diet, the other lost her wallet, and the third is lactose intolerant.  Who knows.  .  .  all YOU know is that they're not. eating. ice. cream. and they're all staring at the ice cream parlor with that "OMG I'D DO ANYTHING TO HAVE ICE CREAM" look on their faces.

And you're standing there with your triple fudge coconut almond triple scoop waffle cone (with SPRINKLES!) and you see those ladies. . . and you. . .

 

RUN RIGHT INTO THEIR CIRCLE AND SAY OMGOMGOMG I GOT SOME ICE CREAM FROM THAT STORE AND IT'S THE BEST ICE CREAM YOU EVER DREAMED OF AND ONE DAY YOU TOO CAN HAVE ICE CREAM BECAUSE ICE CREAM IS SOOOOOO AWESOME. 

Yeah, you don't know them, but you really should stop by to tell them about your ice cream.

 

So tell me. . . which one's gonna punch you first? 

 

rock-elle

grr_aargh:

ColindaP:

Uh, newbies =/= goats.

How many times must this be rehashed? 

ETA: and why does it suck for you to see BFPs from those of us who have been here for YEARS and have multiple losses? The whole thing about goats is you just don't bust into a pg loss support group and go "Guess what, non-pregnant, recently-miscarried people I don't know?! I'm preggers!!!" Not when it's someone who has been participating in the group. Grr_aargh, where are you with your ice cream cone analogy?  

So, there's this group of extra twitchy ladies standing near the ice cream store.  You don't know why they aren't eating ice cream.  Maybe one's on a diet, the other lost her wallet, and the third is lactose intolerant.  Who knows.  .  .  all YOU know is that they're not. eating. ice. cream. and they're all staring at the ice cream parlor with that "OMG I'D DO ANYTHING TO HAVE ICE CREAM" look on their faces.

And you're standing there with your triple fudge coconut almond triple scoop waffle cone (with SPRINKLES!) and you see those ladies. . . and you. . .

 

RUN RIGHT INTO THEIR CIRCLE AND SAY OMGOMGOMG I GOT SOME ICE CREAM FROM THAT STORE AND IT'S THE BEST ICE CREAM YOU EVER DREAMED OF AND ONE DAY YOU TOO CAN HAVE ICE CREAM BECAUSE ICE CREAM IS SOOOOOO AWESOME. 

Yeah, you don't know them, but you really should stop by to tell them about your ice cream.

 

So tell me. . . which one's gonna punch you first? 

shanna82

magpiebride61210:

So in regard to the BFP announcement theories, this is what I think:

(yes this has been asked and discussed so many times even I know this horse has been dead for weeks).

 

 

So why bring it up again?  Oh, because you like to stir the pot.

And what makes you think that your overly drawn out post is going to change anything on this board?  You've already GBCB once, so maybe you should go and make your own forum somewhere with your own rules.... 

magpiebride61210

shanna82:

magpiebride61210:

So in regard to the BFP announcement theories, this is what I think:

(yes this has been asked and discussed so many times even I know this horse has been dead for weeks).

 

 

So why bring it up again?  Oh, because you like to stir the pot.

And what makes you think that your overly drawn out post is going to change anything on this board?  You've already GBCB once, so maybe you should go and make your own forum somewhere with your own rules.... 

I'm sorry if it seems I'm stirring the pot, and maybe I was just to bring up a perspective that might not have been thought of before. It was just a thought, and I simply put it out there to be considered. I have nowhere in that post mentioned that I agreed with it myself. I was clear to say I didn't really know my stance on this subject yet, and of course you'll read that I have no plans on considering myself someone who feels comfortable posting a BFP here.

I'm sorry if I've upset any of you girls, old or new. This was just a thought, and it seems a few ladies actually took to the discussion. The good thing here is, I think some of us have had a chance to discuss our thoughts, and maybe now have a clearer understanding of this board.

I think one poster hit the nail on the head... just put in a warning and read it if you want to. sorry again!

CarrieLeigh84

Magpie - I'm pretty sure I speak for oh, 75% of this board when I say...... STFU.

BlakeG

CarrieLeigh84:

Magpie - I'm pretty sure I speak for oh, 75% of this board when I say...... STFU.

 This