Wonderful IL's

blondie223

Ok, maybe a bit of sarcasm in that post.  I usually get along with my IL's for the most part.  Now my SIL on the other hand is a totally different story.  She's the type of person who thinks because I married her brother, I married her too.  (luckily we live 45 minutes away) 

Since we've had DD I can probably count on one hand the # of times they have seen DD.  Anyways, the last time the IL's saw DD was July when we came out to see them.  And since then I have been told by SIL that we withhold DD from them.  Which in no way do we.  We've asked them to come out to our house a few times and finally quit asking b/c they always had an excuse.  And we don't feel as it's our responsibilty to have to drive her to their house everytime, we do have things to do around the house on weekend too. 

Saturday MIL calls DH and says they want to come over on Sunday, even though she calls at 9:30 at night, thanks for the notice.  I was a little annoyed with it b/c that meant I was going to have to rush around Sunday morning to get grocery shopping done, house straightened up, etc..  DH knew I was annoyed and got a little defensive by saying I'm sorry you don't care if my parents see DD, since my parents see her everyday, my mom watches her while I work.  And i go over on weekend mornings to use their home gym stuff.  So I got on the defensive and said really its about freaking time they make an effort to see her and that I've been getting p!ssed off that they can make all time for SIL and her kids, but not us b/c we live further away and complain about not seeing her and do nothing about it.  And he agreed.  He calls back a little later while I was working out....They decided they aren't coming out to our house.  Go freaking figure.  MIL said she didn't have the extra money for gas and then FIL said we needed to drive in to go to lunch for his sisters b-day(which was a few weeks ago).  Really, you think?  DH said he went off b/c he's sick of hearing how they don't see her and she won't know them.  He told them to never complain again about not seeing her.  DH was also doing a ton of yard work this weekend and since he's working the next few weekends this was his only chance to get it done.  Why do people b!tch about something but they don't do anything about it.  I'm sorry I really had to vent and get that off my chest.  After my week last week I don't want to keep in feeling of anger.   

PurpleK26

Wow, that would really peeve me too. Especially since going out for lunch, unless its at taco bell, would probably b about the same cost as gas to come see you guys.

meggiejo

I think it's always a little different with ILs than your own parents. My parents make it a point to see the boys as often as possible, but I can count on one hand the number of times my ILs came over to see them without an engraved invitation. They come to visit my SIL, driving past our house to get there, but never stop. Then it's our fault that DS isn't close to them. Good for your DH for saying something! Relationships are two ways, just because it's a grandchild doesn't mean you are entitled to visits.

princesscb22

i'm sorry to hear this!! I know exactly what you're going through! My IL's live 2 hours away, and they expect US to take the kids up to their house to see them.  One would think they would realize it'd be a whole lot easier for the 2 of them to come here, rather than us trying to pack up all 3 kids! And of course, the reason they're not close to the kids is always our fault.  Nevermind the fact that they won't even pick up the phone to call and see how they're doing!

 

We've come to a mutual understanding at this point.....they don't come here, we don't go there.  The kids don't think of them as grandparents.  They're "daddy's parents."  99% of the time everyone is ok with this arrangement.....the other 1% comes into play when other people are around, MIL acts like she cares and this is all our fault (she has to have the "perfect family" image for all her friends).

 

Good for your DH for standing up to them!! I hope in your case it gets better!