Biters kind of long sorry

PoseyMamma · September 2010

My DD goes to a baby sitter three days a week. There is another little boy there that she watches and there have been day where DD will come home with red spots on her head and I will call the baby sitter and ask her if the other little boy bit my DD. She said yes. This little boy is so fast to bite that it is hard to stop him. One minute he is playing and the next my DD is screaming. The baby sitter puts him in time out and he screams the whole time he is in time out and then when he gets out he bites again so time out again he goes. It really makes me sad that DD is getting bit. The baby sitter tells his mom that he bit my DD again and all his mom does is say oh and tells the little boy no biting. Well that isn't cutting it because he keeps doing it. My question is what can be done to stop the biting? Any tricks that some of you have done that gets them to stop. And I want to talk to the other mom but I have no clue what to say to her or how to even bring it up.

misscharlotte04 · September 2010

This might be the extreme end of getting kids to not bite. However, my sister was a biter until the one time my mom caught her in the act - she grabbed her arm and bit her back. She never bit again.

I personally would consider changing DC providers if my LO kept getting bit. I know its not the DCP fault persay, but they could perhaps be a little more proactive in getting the parents of the biter on board to finding a solution.

northhillsbride · September 2010

How old is the boy?

In a daycare setting, you wouldn't even know who the biter is, so the chances of being able to talk to the other parent is not there. Also, coming from another parent, I bet Biter Mom would take a defensive stand, so it wouldn't go over well at all (considering she seems pretty relaxed about the whole thing).

That said, the babysitter needs to sit down with the parents and come to an agreement with them about how to handle this (maybe it's re-direction, maybe it's givng him quiet time with a book when she sees the signs that he's getting worked up). (My son was the "victom" when he was a year old, and then the biter when he was almost 2 yrs old - so we've been on both sides!)

We actually got called in for a parent-teacher conference, it was getting so bad! For us, it was a combination of being stern with him (my DS was learning that the teachers weren't as strict with as we would have been); giving him quiet time when he started getting frustrated (sometimes that meant going into the director's, and the teacher agreed to keep a closer eye on him when he was around the kid(s) he kept biting. (Also, the threat of Daddy being called about it, tended to help!)

Good luck!

lmpdjc · September 2010

I went through this with DD getting bit at daycare. The mom of the biter was actually a co-worker of mine. We brainstormed constantly on ways to prevent her kid from biting mine, but nothing worked. I'm sorry that you're going through this. Can your DC provider keep the kids separated?

PoseyMamma · September 2010

I know who the kid is because it is an in home baby sitter type of DC thing. The mom is a single young mom. She is about 19 or 20 and her son just turned a year old last month. Its not the greatest of home life for the little boy and all but I am so tired of DD getting bit. The baby sitter has asked the mom what she can do and she just said put him in time out when he does it. Which is what the baby sitter does. I know it sounds bad but I am almost to the point where I want to tell the baby sitter to hold my DD over the little boy and let her pull his hair so that he feels the pain the she goes through. The baby sitter has asked about having the little boy bit a lemon or giving him hot sauce and the mom says no. DH and I talked about this for about an hour last night trying to figure out what to do. If we pull her out of this place then my MIL will be keeping her more and I really don't want that. It is just a hard situation and I don't understand why the mom is so laid back about it. If the was my child biting I would do something about it. Sorry I am just kind of going on and on about this.

melody921 · September 2010

I wish I had advice for you. DS has been bitten twice now at daycare (pretty sure it was the same kid both times bc one time a teacher accidentally gave a clue who it was, and the same kid was there the second time). Beyond telling the biter no and redirecting him to something else, I don't know what they can do. The DCP needs to tell the biter's mom that she needs to take it seriously, though, and that she needs to discipline him right away if he does that at home.