Extra $ in addition to CS

CarolinaLady529

DH is deployed so I have to deal with BM on my own for the most part and try to stay as polite as possible because I don't want to get into it with her. She recently asked if I want to reimburse her for some clothes she just bought him. We have no problem buying things for SS - we provide quite a bit for him, but we do have a problem with sending her $$ in addition to what she receives for CS because there's suspicions of drug abuse, (its being investigated...) but we also bought him school clothes in Aug, so we kind of feel like anything she wants to buy him at this point she could use CS for. Does anyone have advice on the best way to respond to this as amicably as possible? (I don't want to flat out say, were not going to send $$ because we think you'll spend it on drugs...) 

Mama2S-K-M

I would just tell her at this time you are unable to give her any money outside of the child support. 

If you really want to help in some way send a gift card to a store she would shop for his clothes at, then you are not sending cash that can be used for other things

You can not give her everything she wants for the sake of being polite.

Ilumine

You do not need to be diplomatic about it.  Just say that at this time you are unable to provide her with more than the Court Ordered Child Support. 

If you want, you can send him items directly. 

Banana44

Ilumine:

You do not need to be diplomatic about it.  Just say that at this time you are unable to provide her with more than the Court Ordered Child Support. 

If you want, you can send him items directly. 

I agree.  I would not provide a gift card because there is no guarentee it would used for SS.

Wahoo

Heck, she can sell a g.c. for $ as well, so if you don't trust her with money, I'm not sure why anyone would think a g.c. is the solution.

I would tell her with DH being away, you are unable to provide any more $.  If he needs something specific, like a winter jacket or gear for sports, I would buy it for him yourself.

Jessys_Girl

Wahoo:

Heck, she can sell a g.c. for $ as well, so if you don't trust her with money, I'm not sure why anyone would think a g.c. is the solution.

I would tell her with DH being away, you are unable to provide any more $.  If he needs something specific, like a winter jacket or gear for sports, I would buy it for him yourself.

This.

Littlejen22

I would tell her that right now you cannot send more money, if she cannot call you out on it you can say that things are tight right now.  Maybe find a polite way to say that hoped what you bought him in August would be enough for now...and if you want you can ask her if there is anything additional that he needs right now so that you can see if you can find a way to provide it.