today is my bday...

so1966

...and i seem to be waiting and waiting forever to be a mom.  one of my best friends ( i basically keep in touch w/ friends through email after this nightmare) told me that my goddaughter and her sister are now 6 and 9.  i was just recently married when she had her now 6 year old and i vividly remember visiting her in the hospital to see the baby.  i have already been married over 6 years and nothing to show for all my efforts in trying to be a mom and today i turned 44 years old.

i don't want to hear that once i adopt everything will get better or that i will adopt and it will happen.  i am really hoping that this will be the year, but i will regret being an older mom and i have regretted so much that i have missed these past 6 years. 

 thanks for listening. i know have so many other gifts that i've been blessed with in my life, but loss of children in my life is just a constant void and i can't help but just cry today.  my dh is so wonderful and bought me flowers and cheesecake. i just have lots of healing to do...

 excuse my rambling, but it's hard not to ponder on what you've accomplished on your bday and get emotional...

silliestbunny

So sorry you are feeling down.  I wish I had words of wisdom but I don't.

Hang in there....

Alicia_22

I'm sorry you were sad on your birthday! I hope this is the year you finally get your baby!!!!!!! 

Honeydew1894

I am sorry you are feeling down. Happy Birthday! I hope all of your wishes come true this year.

amm78

My thoughts are with you.  I have been married for almost 10 years, which is longer than most of my friends.  Yet, during these 10 years, I have seen lots of friends and my sisters effortlessly get pregnant and have babies, while I am still childless with two painful losses.  It is depressing to think about how the time I have spent trying to become a mom is lost time with my children that I can't get back.  Hugs to you!

koda927

First, Happy Birthday. While you may not feel like celebrating (trust me I went through the same thing on my birthday) you still have a wonderful husband you understands. Thinking of you today and hoping that this is your year!

lovemymonkey

thinking of you today, my dear S!! (((((((((hugs))))))))))) 

 

so1966

I really appreciate your responses. They mean so much to me. I know I'm not the most positive person and probably too emotional at times, but, hey, that's me.