Baby Showers

Etiquette Question...

Wondering if it's appropriate for my mother to host my shower....

 

My mother has offered (and really wants) to host a shower for me. Most of my close friends, who would probably do it otherwise, live far away and it wouldn't really work out for any of them to host one for me. So my mom offered and is excited about it. 

 *But* I've been researching etiquette a bit and found out that, traditionally, it's not appropriate for the mother-to-be's mom to host the shower. :/

Should I just not have one? Or is it ok for my mom to throw one?

 

Re: Etiquette Question...

  • I've only heard that it's tacky for YOU to throw your own shower. Any one else is fair game.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimage
    imageimage
  • I think it's fine. I know in in the past that was considered tacky but I think a lot of mom's do it nowadays. My mom gave me my shower. Like pp said, as long as you aren't throwing your shower you should be fine.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Loading the player...
  • I think it's ok for anyone but yourself to host your shower. I hope it's ok for your mom to do it because my mom and younger sister plan to host mine and it would kill them if they couldn't.
    Three angel babies...I think it's time for a change
  • Traditionally it was considered inappropriate.  But to be honest, I wouldn't put it in my Top 20 list of etiquette offenses.
  • I think it depends on what is the norm in your area. I would not let my Mom, MIL or sister throw me a shower because it's just not what's done here. If most of the showers you have been to have been thrown by close family members, and you don't think that your friends will be offended then go for it. 
  • I don't think it should matter who hosts your baby shower, just as long as it's not the mother to be. I've seen friends, co workers, mothers, MIL host a bunch.

  • My mom is throwing my shower with the help of my best friend.  My parents live in Maine, I'm in Jersey so it would be difficult for her to plan the venue and stuff but she wants to be consulted on everything.
  • That's kind of an antiquated etiquette rule, and it seems to be taken much more seriously in the south than anywhere else in the country.  Every single person I know has had their bridal and/or baby showers thrown by their mother or mother-in-law, so I don't think it's a big deal at all.
  • My mother would never even think of throwing me a shower and I've never been to a shower hosted by a mother or a mother-in-law.  But then again I grew up in TX and it may be a completely regional thing.
    TTC since August 2008 4 cycles Femara = BFN Dx PCOS February 2010, 1000 mg Metformin XR IUI #1: Dexamethasone + Femara + Ovidrel + Progesterone = BFN IUI #2: Dexamethasone + Femara + Ovidrel + Progesterone = BFP! Our son arrived January 17, 2011!
  • imagelaurel22:
    That's kind of an antiquated etiquette rule, and it seems to be taken much more seriously in the south than anywhere else in the country.  Every single person I know has had their bridal and/or baby showers thrown by their mother or mother-in-law, so I don't think it's a big deal at all.
  • imagelaurel22:
    That's kind of an antiquated etiquette rule, and it seems to be taken much more seriously in the south than anywhere else in the country.  Every single person I know has had their bridal and/or baby showers thrown by their mother or mother-in-law, so I don't think it's a big deal at all.
  • imagelaurel22:
    That's kind of an antiquated etiquette rule, and it seems to be taken much more seriously in the south than anywhere else in the country.  Every single person I know has had their bridal and/or baby showers thrown by their mother or mother-in-law, so I don't think it's a big deal at all.
  • not sure what happend there!

     

    but, bridal showers should never be hosted by the mob or mil. you should never be the one to host your own shower!

    With baby showers i think the rules are more lax, your mom or mil can host them, as well as your sister and sil. I hosted all my sil's showers ( i have 3 brothers and no sisters)

  • Totally a regional thing. Here in MD (which I don't consider a southern state) baby showers hosted by grandmothers to be or the mother in laws are not done, at least not in my circle. It's always sisters, cousins or very good friends.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • for my baby shower my mom, mil, sister's and sil's throw my shower together.  "not have a shower because of etiqutte" bah.  It's a shower, not the Queen's dinner.  Have fun, and enjoy your day of pampering
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I agree! Have fun and I wouldn't worry about the so called "rules". I usually find those to be out of date or just silly. I have been to showers that were at the expectant mothers house, although she wasn't hosting them. I usually do not go to a shower ready to judge anything!! Unless people are totally crazy but I find that MUCH more common with brides than expectant moms.

    Have fun!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I don't know of anyone who really pays attention to who hosts the shower (other than if it were the mother-to-be herself) I agree that would be a little tacky, but my mom and 2 sisters plan to throw mine and I wouldn't think twice about it. Besides, the people who would be invited are family and close friends so they shouldn't judge something so petty! I wouldn't think to throw my own but I'm honored that my family wants to be involved!
  • I don't think it is a regional thing but more what your family and friends are used to.  I live din MI and it was not done (showers were hosted by friends, aunts or cousins).  I now live in MO and it is the same thing here.  I have gone to showers hosted by grandmothers-to-be's in both states (as well as in Ohio, IN,  IL and PA) but they were friends of mine from college, etc.  I think it is an old etiquette thing that has changed because of changes in family dynamics and the fact that people move a lot more now then they did in the "olden days".
  • My mother and I are VERY close.

    She did my bridal shower with the help of my BM's so I KNOW she will do the baby shower.

    No problem with it at all.

     

    And...

    I have been to 2 showers where the MIL's have hosted.

  • I've always heard it was tacky for your mother to host your bridal shower, but ok to host a baby shower. My mother co-hosted my first, with my two aunts and a couple other couples. It was great and nobody batted an eye about it.
  • imageRoxyLynn:
    Traditionally it was considered inappropriate.  But to be honest, I wouldn't put it in my Top 20 list of etiquette offenses.

     Agree!

  • I think it would be ok for your mom to throw you a baby shower. I know it's in poor taste for your mom to throw you a bridal shower, but that's usually because tradition dictates that the bride's family hosts the wedding for their daughter. This is entirely different, as this is your baby and not your mom's and she's not dictating/"hosting" the birth of your baby. 
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"