TTC after 35
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Denied treatment by fertility specalist!!!

... because I'm not married?!

 

Hi ladies, I'm a long-time lurker on this board and finally got up the courage to post today ;)  

Been TTC for 11 months, I'm 37.  Had the HSG test (UGH!) done last week, and my right fallopian tube is not behaving normally according to this test.  So my OBGYN recommended a specialist to me.  

 I call to make an appt and when the receptionist asked me if I was married, I didn't think anything of it - I said, no I live with my SO, we own a home together, etc.  The receptionist then tells me "it is the policy of this practice to only treat married couples".  I nearly dropped the phone.  

 She said I could come in for a consult but they won't treat me.  I told her that wouldn't be necessary, I'd be finding a doctor with a more modern and less prejudicial approach to reproductive medicine.

 Ok - seriously?!  A doctor who is a specialist is DENYING treatment to someone who needs their help based on MARITAL status?   Sorry, I was just in shock and had to share.

 So my OB is helping me find a new specialist, but still!!!

 Anyway, anyone else who's had a weird HSG result please feel free to jump in and help me stop worrying :)

 Mandy

Re: Denied treatment by fertility specalist!!!

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    Holy crap that's crazy.  Good for you for finding someone else and letting them know why. 
    IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
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    OMG!!  That's completely ridiculous.  How is that any of their business??? The fact is that you are TTC and need a specialists assistance.  That's all they should need to know.  Good for you for telling them what's what and for finding someone else.  I hope you find someone soon who will treat you with the respect that you deserve and help you with your situation.

    GL!!!

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    I would give your OB a call since he/she recommended the specialist too. That sounds really crazy in 2010! I'm sorry you are hitting this totally unnecessary roadbump! I'm sure you will be able to find another specialist quickly!

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    I'm sorry - this whole process is miserable enough without have someone be judgemental. 
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    That is obserd! There has to be a law suite inthere some where.
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    That is crazy!!! I've heard of people denied treatment because of age... but marital status??? I can't even understand the justification for that, at all...I mean if they were super religious or something, would they really have chosen fertility as their specialty?

    Don't let that discourage you, I'm guessing that the vast vast majority of physicians would not do this.  I can tell you that I recently made my first RE appt. and they didn't even ask if I was married, just the name of my "partner'. Good luck!

    My Blog Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    TTC #1 since 4/10, Dx: MFI IVF planned for April/May
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    I've never heard of that!  Unreal. What is with people! Seriously!  I haven't any advice on your HSG but I do know of a woman our age who is pg right now and she has only one tube so don't worry too much if you can help it.

    -Pix

     

    About me: A pixie in the city, 41, TTC #1 since May 2010, married 18 years. Diagnosed with, surgically removed, endometrioma Aug.2010 Sept 2010 IUI #1=BFN, Oct=cyst/bfn, Nov 2010 IUI #2 = bfn. Had to postpone IUI #3 b/c of a cyst natural=BFN. Skipped IUI #3, decided to go for IVF. Found/removed uterine polyps Jan 2011. IVF cancelled, no follicles. IVF #2: 3 great embies put in on Easter Sunday = BFN. Hoping for another chance at IVF in July. TTC is NOT for wimps. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ticker/2fab90/ttc.png
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    OMG!! Dr. Bias! That is so unprofessional! After that response, I would not want to go there anyway. I hope your OB/GYN can find you a Dr. that is practicing without bias and arbitrary rules! Good luck!!
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    That is horrifying.  I'm so sorry that you were treated that way.  I agree with PP, you should let your OBGYN know.  How dare someone judge you.
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    So sorry that is utterly disgusting, my mouth dropped also. ((HUGS))
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    Glad you are finding someone else. Who do they think they are?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    My OB told me the specialists in my area only treat married women because of the specialists' religious beliefs. I am married, so doesn't affect me but when my OB verified my marital status and told me why, I thought it was odd.
    Baby #1 due 2/10/14!
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    That is crazy!

    Although, I do remember my first call to my RE. I am single and trying to get pregnant via artificial insemination from donor sperm. I was very sheepish when I asked if they were open to single women choosing to puruse motherhood alone. They were totally on board.

    Even when I went in for my first consult, I asked again if he had a concern and he was so sweet to me. He just smiled and said "sometime single mothers make the best parents". I knew I was in the right place.

    What if you had just said yes, you were married. Would they have asked you to show your marriage license to prove it?

    Keep looking and you will definitely find the right doctor for you. Good luck!

    Single Mother by Choice. Life didn't work out the way I planned so I did it on my own. IUI #s 1-3, unmedicated = BFN, IUI #s 4-6, 50mg Clomid, Ovidrel = BFN IVF #1: 23R, 20M, 17F. 5 day transfer 2 blasts. 2 Snowbabies BFP 6dp5dt, Beta #1 7dp5dt = 58, Beta #2 9dp5dt = 114, Beta #3 10dp5dt = 187 1st Ultrasound = 5/3, not much to see yet. 2nd Ultrasound = 5/17, TWINS!!! Hospital Bed Rest at 32 weeks due to pre-ecclampsia and severe edema. Audrey Grace, 5lbs9oz, & Lydia Louise, 6lbs, born via emergency c-section on 12/6/12 at 36w1d My IVF Journey
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    While I can understand your shock and frustration, I think I will be in the minority here.  I am not trying to start an argument, just providing another perspective.  The specialist is just that, a specialist.  He is in a practice that he can choose his patients at will.  Not everyone will be provided a service just because they walk through that door.  He may feel that some women are at an unhealthy weight (both under/overweight), some women may be single, etc.  It is his right and choice to choose patients to treat in this type of situation.  

    I just hope that your original Dr. is now aware of this and does not send any other single women to him, in order to spare them the same anger and anguish.  I know that you WILL find the right Dr. for you.  Hang in there.

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    imageJoe'sSweetPea:

    While I can understand your shock and frustration, I think I will be in the minority here.  I am not trying to start an argument, just providing another perspective.  The specialist is just that, a specialist.  He is in a practice that he can choose his patients at will.  Not everyone will be provided a service just because they walk through that door.  He may feel that some women are at an unhealthy weight (both under/overweight), some women may be single, etc.  It is his right and choice to choose patients to treat in this type of situation.  

    I just hope that your original Dr. is now aware of this and does not send any other single women to him, in order to spare them the same anger and anguish.  I know that you WILL find the right Dr. for you.  Hang in there.

    Yes my thoughts exactly. Many of the "specialists" and Dr's in general have the God Complex and really they can pick and choose who they want for Patients. My RE would not assist us if my DH was a smoker!!!!! It would lower the DR's sucess rates.

    TTC since 2009 very frustrated 42yr and DH 40

    5 cycles of Clomid with satisfactory response=BFN's
    Fibroid removal Nov2010
    IUI Clomid #1 Feb 2011...BFN..damn it!
    IUI Inject's #2 Apr 2011...CANCELLED...low estradiol
    IUI Inject's #3 June 2011...BFN
    IUI Inject's #4 Sept2011...BFFN
    Lap Dec 2011...severe endo..cyst removed..some remains...
    IVF#1 Apr 2012 ....cancelled due to over suppression
    IVF#2 July 2012....6 follies...only 1 retrieved....BFFN
    surgery suggested to move ovary to an better placement but....we moved two time zones away and are financially and emotionally empty

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    I'm sorry, that really sucks that people are still so closed minded.  Definitely no the doctor for you!  I'm kind of shocked, but i know there are plenty of fertility specialists out there that don't feel the same way.  GL!
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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    I AM SOOO  MAD I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT .  THAT IS HORRIBLE YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT !!  Your ob should definately make a note of that and NEVER send any other unmarried people there.

    How insulting , but you know don't waste your energy on them , stay positve and focused .  The Specialist you do wind up with will be right for you.

     GL

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