Adoptee and grad student — The Bump
Adoption

Adoptee and grad student

Hey ladies,

I'm an adult adoptee, my son was recently adopted by my husband and currently a grad student working on my thesis.  Because of the timing of my thesis, my going through the adoption process (for my son) and growing up knowing I was adopted, I chose to do my thesis on the adoptive parent view of adoption fees.

I'm trying to write my questions, which will be sent to adoptive parents, and I keep wondering if this will come across as insensitive or offensive.  I'm not asking about how much the adoption cost or what means they took to finance the fees, but I can't help but feel it feels very cold and impersonal. My goal is to hopefully gain some insight on how some parents were able to afford the fees and share this with prospective parents.

I guess I'm wondering how you would feel about someone asking you what your perspective was on the fees incurred? Would you be willing to share (in an online survey) your truthful opinions or am I wasting my time on this subject?

TIA

Re: Adoptee and grad student

  • I would totally share its no secret and you would be SHOCKED how many people IRL ask us how much it cost to adopt.  Its not offensive IMO.  

    "I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine

    "All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."

  • I guess my question would be, what ARE the questions you're going to ask? I wouldn't find any question regarding adoption fees to be impersonal, insensitive, or offensive, unless someone asked me how much my kid cost. And I don't imagine that will be one of your questions ;)

    I think you'd be pleasantly surprised by the responses you got.

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  • image Dr.Loretta:

    I guess my question would be, what ARE the questions you're going to ask? I wouldn't find any question regarding adoption fees to be impersonal, insensitive, or offensive, unless someone asked me how much my kid cost. And I don't imagine that will be one of your questions ;)

    I think you'd be pleasantly surprised by the responses you got.

    Okay, so it will be on a Likert scale (1-5 -1 being strongly disagree all the way to 5 strongly agree). 

    This is what I have thus far and am struggling to find the "right" questions:

    I was informed of all of the fees associated with adoption prior to beginning the process.

    1     2     3     4     5

    I was able to afford the up-front adoption fees out of pocket.

    1     2     3     4     5

    I received assistance financing the up-front costs of adoption.

    1     2     3     4     5

    I received an adoption subsidy.                

    1     2     3     4     5

    I received an adoption tax credit.

    1     2     3     4     5

    (I'm planning to leave a blank at the end asking for the parents own personal stories, things they found helpful, different ideas for financial assistance, etc. )

  • Those question would be fine IMO to ask.
  • Ask away.  You may also want to add in a question about fees paid to the agency/facilitator/lawyer and other necessary payments/costs.  Either a percentage of how much went to "other sources" or if those "other" costs were also accurately disclosed.

  • image CaptainSerious:
    Ask away.  You may also want to add in a question about fees paid to the agency/facilitator/lawyer and other necessary payments/costs.  Either a percentage of how much went to "other sources" or if those "other" costs were also accurately disclosed.

    Very good idea, thank you!

  • I adopted my son from foster care, and I have no problem talking about the benefits he gets etc.  We didnt have to pay to adopt him, but you would be surprised how many people ask us, and then are even more shocked to see he has benefits he receives every month...like we did it for that or something.
  • I would have no problem answering those questions regarding fees, but what you should understand is that the fees are not all paid to the same people / agency / facilitator.  Fees we paid included in order from highest fees to lowest:

    Facilitator

    State of California (Home Study)

    Attorney

    Adoption Service Provider (ASP)

    Birthmother Expenses

    TTC since 4/07
    Type II Diabetes - 6 insulin shots a day
    Dx: Fallopian Tubes lack the ability to move an egg - Moved onto Adoption in 2009 and brought our amazing DD home at 3-days old in 2010.

    [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10723;30/st/20100521/n/Isabella+Mae/dt/-3/k/41a3/age.png[/img]

    [IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/2vvqauv.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i51.tinypic.com/29cmc2c.jpg[/IMG]
  • and you might want to include a sub section on failed adoptions.  how much was lost (if any)?  what categories, etc.
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  • Thank you all for your helpful advice! I really appreciate it and am planning to add your suggestions!
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