Concerned about Foster-Adopt

mcmann05

So tonight is our 3rd foster class. We are just starting to get into the thick of it. Time and time again they say our chance of adopting a child is 1% or that 99% of the time, the child will go home. This is very discouraging.

Reunification, reunification. I am all right with that but they make it seem and sound so negative to anyone wanting to adopt a child. It's part of the program, I get that.

My question is: Are they blowing smoke so we don't get our hopes up? I get on here and other forums and I have heard many stories where people are able to adopt the first child that comes to their home (not that I'm expecting this by any means). My county trainer is making it sound like that will NEVER happen here.

ctbride08

I can't speak to statistics for your area, but i know for sure they arent anywhere close to that here (my guess would actually be much closer to 50/50 or 60/40 RU to adopt).  We were told in PRIDE that nationally, 80% of foster parents become adoptive parents, and i always find that stat reassuring.

hoping4more

Again, I know it is unique to your area and situations but here I know it is not that low. They do tell us however not to get our hopes up. They also told us getting a newborn is very very slim. 

It does happen though. A girl who I used to be friends with lost her daughter at about a week or 2 old by fighting the hospital and refusing vital tests, threatening doctors, etc. She eventually went on to have the province TPR and I believe the foster parents adopted the little one. She would not have been newborn by the time all that went through but foster parents had her since about 2 weeks old. 

Keep your head up, if there is truly a child out there who needs you and is to be adopted by your family, it will happen.

GulfCoaster

Have you asked your trainer what the stats are in your area for the number of children who exit foster care to each permanency goal (reunification, adoption, guardianship, aging out), and how those stats break down by age? 

I'd imagine that they should keep statistics on that, which could help you get a better picture of what things are like in your area.

come*on*baby

we've learned in the years we've been doing this that they tell you all the bad and nothing good to see if you stick it out. The statistics are meant to scare you. It was more 80/20 here.

amazingkel

There is a big push nationwide to try and focus on reunification at all costs...even if it means putting wrap around services into the home to keep the child with their parents. They are even trying to raise the bar for when they do remove kids.  So, in response to that they are saying over and over that you need to focus on reunifying and dont get your hopes up etc etc.  I do belive that you need to keep your head in it, and remember that it may not work out the way you want it too...I cried everytime one of my fosterkids went home, and in some instances they really COULD safely go home.  But, I still cried for my own selfish reasons because i wanted to adopt them so badly. There is still a HUGE possibility that you will adopt, and the stats are definitely more 50/50.  So, dont get discouraged, the right situation will come along and you will adopt.  FWIW, we had five foster kids, and only ONE went home.  The others went to relatives

CaptainSerious

GulfCoaster:

Have you asked your trainer what the stats are in your area for the number of children who exit foster care to each permanency goal (reunification, adoption, guardianship, aging out), and how those stats break down by age? 

I'd imagine that they should keep statistics on that, which could help you get a better picture of what things are like in your area.

Ditto Gulf.  The only way you can know for sure what the reality is, is to get the statistics for your county.  See if you can get the actual statistics, and you'll know if they are just trying to scare you away/drill the idea into your head.