DH is aggravating me vent (kinda long)
Ok so I work at a restaurant 6 shifts a week. DH is a part-time student. I'm used to being a SAHM to my 6 month old son, but to make finances easier, I decided to work as well.
So since this afternoon (today is my ONLY day off) I had a million errands to run and then I came home and started cleaning the entire house (keeping the house clean was obvi one of my SAHM duties and apparently it still is). So I begin making up the things I didn't get a chance to do earlier (windex windows, dust, vaccum, ect.) DH is freaking out cuz he has 6 really long homework assignments that are due tomorrow. Btw, he's known about these for over a week and he's just starting them now. So he's doing one on the computer in the other room while I am keeping our 6 month old entertained by bouncing him on my hip while I'm vaccuming the house all at the same time having some evening morning sickness. As im walking down the hallway, i pass the room and look in and notice hes NOT doing hw. hes looking at the android website at the cool t5hings to do to his phone...he claims he's taking a short break.
so i start getting irritated but i understand and walk away. He's getting all huffy and puffy cuz he finished 1 assignment now he still has 5 more to do. I stay quiet. So then DS is getting fussy because he's hungry so I ask DH if he could feed him while I finish up making dinner for DH and cleaning up the house (he was minimizing the android screen when i walked in). He's like "ugh yah okay just a second I'm really busy" still keep my mouth shut.
I leave the kitchen/living room where he begins feeding DS, when I come back in 10 minutes later, DS in on the floor crying and DH is playing on his phone in the kitchen...WTF?!?! so I pick DS up and start feeding him, DH grabs cookies and starts eating mind you I'M MAKING THE DINNER HE'S WHINING ABOUT! and he is STILL complaining that he's got so much stuff he has to do. Through my teeth I ask "is there anything I can help you with" his response: "oh no I don't think you'd understand any of it"...
I am just saying silent and I came to vent on here because I know if I start to say something I will not be able to hold back and it will be like a niagra falls of obscenities spewing from my mouth.
I'll say something when I calm down but its like are you looking for me to feel bad for you?!?! Every time I mentioned, just as a reminder, that he had all these assignments due I was nagging and he'd get mad. ughhhhhh! vent over thanks.
Re: DH is aggravating me vent (kinda long)
I know this isn't what you want to hear but he's a grown-up. If he wants to procrastinate, let him, he'll just have to deal with the consequences. You don't need to be raising two children. On the other hand if it had been me I would have responded something along the lines of "well clearly you're not understanding it either since it's taken you this long to even START your homework."
Wow, you must be a saint because I loose my cool over every little thing. I got home from a long day at work and stood in line forever to pick up my prenatal's and when I get home to crawl into bed next to my DH he mutters "I ask you to do one f'ing thing and you just can't do it" and I stormed out of the room and slammed every door I could find. He's lucky to still be breathing as far as I'm concerned.
Good luck!! Sorry your having such a rotten night
June Siggy: Fave pic of Aubrey and me
Everyone has days like this. Sometimes we all get into procrastination mode, and that makes us even grumpier, but we seem unable to get out of it. Take a deep breath, know that you were 100% justified in getting upset, but it's over now. Get some sleep.
First of all, you are a lot more patient than I would have been. Especially because it doesn't sound like your DH works and that his only responsibility is to be a part-time student. I am in school and I procrastinate. However, I make sure that my procrastination never affects my family. He was irresponsible and inconsiderate and you should address that (but I agree that waiting until you cool down is a good idea).
Second, I am not picking on you for your age, but it sounds like your DH is not mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with being a husband and dad. I'm not saying he can't change...it just sounds like he has a lot of work/growing up to do.
Good luck to you.
Hang in there! I've been going through similar things with my DH. I'm only about 8 weeks along, but feelin' pretty tired and nauseous-- plus the onslaught of seasonal allergies! DH and I both work full-time, plus I'm in school part-time. We have two puppies-- one is 16 months and one is 2 months-- and a fairly big house to take care of. I've been getting up in the middle of the night to let the little pup out, plus I do most of the shopping, cooking, cleaning, and laundry, although DH is usually pretty good about helping out. But lately the housework has been slipping a bit because I worked seven days straight and have no energy when I get home. DH sent me a snippy text while I was at work the other day (day 6 of 7, BTW) about the fact that he was running low on ironed shirts to wear to work. I nearly jumped down his throat! Thank goodness it's easy to cover up your tone when texting, because I sent him a cheerful text back when I wanted to call him and yell at him! Oh, and when I got home, I found a dozen clean, ironed shirts in the closet-- just none of his favorites! Poor thing, how will he get by??
OK, I feel better having vented, too! :-D What I meant to say was, hang in there-- you're not alone!
Youth really is wasted on the young.
BTW...in regard to this:
Then I"m selfish in the sense that my pregnancy with DS was so stressful (had so many health problems and complications) that I don't think I'm ready to do all that non stop worrying and stressing again. i know this pregnancy might not be stressful and might be as smooth as can be but theres this fear.
You thought it was in your future child's best interest to indulge in what is potentially a high risk pregnancy, given the medical history of your most recent gestation???
Sorry but it should have been birth control and a long talk with your H and your doc as to whether or not pregnancy was advisable, from a medical POV.
There is not a chance in hell I would have put up with a third of that, the least of which would be my child crying while his father plays on his phone.
No way, no how.
Tell him to grow up and knock it off. Seriously.
He also needs to learn how to keep his zipper up.
If he wants to procrastinate his school work, that's his problem. I've been known to surf the internet and play games while trying to get school work done.
What bothers me is that he let your child sit on the floor crying instead of feeding him.
You have a lot on your plate right now. If you're not feeling well, then forget about the vacuuming, or tell DH that he has to make his own dinner some nights. You shouldn't be walking around the house with a baby on your hip while you feel sick. Some things might just have to go by the wayside for a little while.