Not excited to tell

PinkHope

I know others have posted similar feelings. I am not excited to share the news with friends and extended family. I feel like I am telling them out of necessity, but not because I genuinely want them to know. How weird is that?

They didn't share in my IF struggle, so I guess I feel like this isn't news for them either. I also am still worried about this pregnancy not working out.

My parents think I am CRAZY. They have been dying to share the news with everyone since I told them last month, so I'm letting them tell this weekend at 12 weeks. They keep saying, "It's not like it's bad news to share; this is exciting! You should be so happy that you want to tell everyone! We can't believe you're almost to the 2nd trimester and still are keeping this a secret from people!"

I still feel so guarded about this pregnancy. I don't know if I'll ever get over this. My parents definitely mean well and I am so happy that they are excited, but I just want to say "You never dealt with IF or m/c, and that's why you don't understand."

MontyMrs

I hear ya about feeling guarded, it's so hard to be excited after going through so much.  

I do have to say that I surprised at how fantastic it was to finally announce, people were so sweet and exited for us and it helped me finally experience some joy in this pregnancy.  Not just the normal worry, I hope it's a similar experience for you.

OscarQ

I can only go by my own experience and I just held off until I was ready to share it with the world.  I wasn't excited until after the CVS preliminary results came back. Then I had a mini-cry before calling DH and my immediate family to telll them we were good to go.  Then I started spreading the news.

IF and M/C both suck but I think there will come a point when you will feel more confident and more excited to share and you should wait for that point.  Not that you'll ever stop worrying completely but it does get better - at least it did for me.

Good luck!

And I love your monkey!

cara-n-steve

I completely understand how you feel.  I was having the same feeling and even though we told since DH is leaving soon, I still makes me nervous that we told people.  Today I told DH it's almost like I'm waiting for something to happen.  I do have to say, the day we told people was a lot of fun, and I felt great that day about everything.

 I think feeling like this is pretty normal for someone who has gone through IF and/or loss. It's normal to over analyze everything and to not believe this is really happening.  When you do tell people, HAVE FUN!!!  Regardless if your friends know about your IF, they'll be so happy for you and want to share in your Joy.

KiKiGee

I think it's normal.... I still feel uncomfortable telling people and talking about it and I am 15w.  We just started telling people 2 days ago, mostly b/c I felt like I had to tell work....  It still doesn't feel good to me to tell, even after awesome NT results... I can't even put up a ticker... I'm sure as it starts to feel and look more "real" it will get easier... right?   

MarriedaSportsNut

I hope you don't mind if I respond.

I also dreaded telling people. For me it was as much about worry as it was avoiding the spotlight. We had decided to wait until about 16-20 weeks, or when I started showing. As it turns out, it was a relief not to have told anyone (except my mom, who blabbed against our wishes, and then had to unblab).

Don't let your parents put you in the awkward position of telling before you are ready. Wait until you're comfortable. I think you'll be feeling more excited soon enough :-)

newsbaby

I think its normal having dealt with IF. No one said you have to tell just yet. Wait a few more weeks, maybe a week or so after your NT. 

Dragonfly1226

I went through exactly the same thing. (I actually think I posted a post very similar to yours at around 12 weeks.)

I will say that as the weeks went by it did get more exciting. Everyone around us has been just so happy for us that it really does help. Sharing the news that it's a boy has been much more exciting than sharing the news of the pregnancy.

Give yourself a little time hon. You'll get there. And in the end all that matters is that you know you and your dh are over the moon

(((((hugs))))) 

ohiostategal

I am the exact same way, you aren't alone.  I "had" to tell a friend today because we are going away for the weekend together with two other friends that will want to be going out late, etc.  I feel terrible right now and needed her to know what was going on.  She was so excited for me and I still fell very guarded.  She understood.  Tell people when it feels right to you.  Big hugs.

PinkHope

Thanks so much everyone for validating my feelings. We're telling a large group of friends this weekend no matter what -- I am definitely showing to anyone who knows me and we're going to a wedding. I just wish I felt excited to tell, and I don't at all. Oh well.

I really appreciate that you girls can empathize!