3 weeks old, fussy at night. Looking for your insight/experiences.

almostjones

Hi everyone,

My sweet little 3 week old daughter has a very predictable fussy/clingy time from about 6 or 7pm to midnight each night.  I hear this is pretty typical, but at about 10pm I really start to struggle so I am hoping someone has some sort of light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel experience to share.

During the day, she has a pretty consistent eat-sleep pattern.  She nurses about every 2.5-3.5 hours during the day and is fine with being put down to nap in the bassinet, swing or bouncer. 

But in the evenings and into the night, she has to be held and she nurses every hour at least.  I know it's not colic, because she's not screaming the whole time.  She's usually fine to fall asleep in our arms for a brief nap as long as we hold her very closely, but we can't put her down or she wails...and when she wakes up/gets worked up the only thing that consistently seems to calm her down is nursing. She takes a paci fine during the day but at night she doesn't keep it in her mouth.  I really don't want to be a human paci, but when she's screaming in our small house and DH has to wake up at 5am for an hour+ commute to work, I do what works, and right now what works is nursing her.

I don't know what it is that flips her switch and makes it ok for us to lay her down in the bassinet around the midnight mark, but it isn't until then that she's ok with it.  Even if she is asleep before then and we put her down she wakes up.  But around the 11:30/12 mark, if she's asleep she'll usually stay asleep when we lay her in the bassinet. I don't get it...

It's exhausting, to say the least.  Any words of encouragement?

Oh, and here's the kicker.  The other night, my Mom was here and held her for a couple of hours until she fell asleep.  During this time, I took a bath and went to bed.  Obviously DD wasn't able to nurse while Mom was holding her and she was just fine.  I don't get it...

Thanks so much for any insight!

 

 

CareBear01

It is really frustrating when they are unconsoling.  It sounds like she is at the 3 week growth spurt.  Doing cluster feedings, etc.  It should pass - just hang in there!  There will probably be another spurt around the 6 week mark and 3 month mark.

jen5-03

the light at the end of the tunnel is about 4-5 weeks away minimum. Baby just wants to be held - that's norfmal. If mama is doing the holding then babay wants to suck - also normal and very good for your supply.

KNJepp

CareBear is right - probably the 3-week growth spurt, plus just normal newborn baby stuff.  They all tend to be that way in the evening.  In addition to what CareBear said, there's also a 6-month growth spurt, as I recall!

alliwalton

My LO was doing this, and it was because I was drinking millk in the morning hours. 

KNJepp

jen5/03:

the light at the end of the tunnel is about 4-5 weeks away minimum. Baby just wants to be held - that's norfmal. If mama is doing the holding then babay wants to suck - also normal and very good for your supply.

Exactly.  

I think the first "okay, this is getting better" point came somewhere around 7-8 weeks?  (Although they also start to "wake up" a lot more around 6 weeks, which brings new challenges).  

kreeper611

CareBear01:

It is really frustrating when they are unconsoling.  It sounds like she is at the 3 week growth spurt.  Doing cluster feedings, etc.  It should pass - just hang in there!  There will probably be another spurt around the 6 week mark and 3 month mark.

I felt like the growth spurts were on the "3's" - 3/6/9 weeks, 3/6/9 months.  Plus the horrible "4 month wakeful" that is just a random growth spurt.

The pp's are correct.  If it makes you feel better I remember being told (scolded :-) by my friends that it was normal - the baby wants to eat and you are the entree.  Just camp out on the sofa and be prepared to sit there with your boob hanging out.  At the time I thought I was going to die...9 months later it doesn't seem like it was that bad.  You'll get through it!

alisa1228

almostjones:

Hi everyone,

My sweet little 3 week old daughter has a very predictable fussy/clingy time from about 6 or 7pm to midnight each night.  I hear this is pretty typical, but at about 10pm I really start to struggle so I am hoping someone has some sort of light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel experience to share.

During the day, she has a pretty consistent eat-sleep pattern.  She nurses about every 2.5-3.5 hours during the day and is fine with being put down to nap in the bassinet, swing or bouncer. 

But in the evenings and into the night, she has to be held and she nurses every hour at least.  I know it's not colic, because she's not screaming the whole time.  She's usually fine to fall asleep in our arms for a brief nap as long as we hold her very closely, but we can't put her down or she wails...and when she wakes up/gets worked up the only thing that consistently seems to calm her down is nursing. She takes a paci fine during the day but at night she doesn't keep it in her mouth.  I really don't want to be a human paci, but when she's screaming in our small house and DH has to wake up at 5am for an hour+ commute to work, I do what works, and right now what works is nursing her.

I don't know what it is that flips her switch and makes it ok for us to lay her down in the bassinet around the midnight mark, but it isn't until then that she's ok with it.  Even if she is asleep before then and we put her down she wakes up.  But around the 11:30/12 mark, if she's asleep she'll usually stay asleep when we lay her in the bassinet. I don't get it...

It's exhausting, to say the least.  Any words of encouragement?

Oh, and here's the kicker.  The other night, my Mom was here and held her for a couple of hours until she fell asleep.  During this time, I took a bath and went to bed.  Obviously DD wasn't able to nurse while Mom was holding her and she was just fine.  I don't get it...

Thanks so much for any insight!

 

my daughter has a "fussy" period also, where she's not screaming, but she's tired and just fighting it... taking brief naps while we hold her, etc, just like you described.  

her pedi said it can still be considered colic.  her suggestions were to cut out dairy and she also said a new study just came out in august that colicky babies have a higher level of e-coli, and so adding a probiotic might also help.

and i can totally sympathize with you on the human paci thing... my dd2 will not take a paci, and we live in a small house also so i will just nurse her bc i'm afraid she will wake up my 2yo!

hang in there!! 

kat.in.the.hat

do you have a moby wrap or a similar baby carrier?  She might like being worn while you go on a little walk and could possibly fall asleep for longer than in your arms.  Even if she doesn't fall asleep, you can nurse in the Moby or a sling and at least free your arms up.

And, I know this is really hard to actually put into practice, but try taking at one nap with her in the afternoon since you know this is her schedule for now.  If you're a bit more rested, it will be easier to deal with.  Oh, and load up the DVR with shows you'd like to watch so you can just camp out on the sofa.

Katieraye09

Sounds like a growth spurt to me as well.  Also, could it be something you're eating for lunch?  It took me 3-4 "episodes" before I realized raw purple onion was a no-no for DS.  Good luck!  I know it's really tough now but it will pass before you know it. 

saturdaynightdoubletree

CareBear01:

It is really frustrating when they are unconsoling.  It sounds like she is at the 3 week growth spurt.  Doing cluster feedings, etc.  It should pass - just hang in there!  There will probably be another spurt around the 6 week mark and 3 month mark.

this. hang in there momma... things will get better!!!

jlmarshall

Has her cord fallen off?  Maybe it is time to start a nighttime routine with a warm bath.

Are you wearing her?  She might like being worn in some sort of wrap (I have a Moby that is great - you have your hands free, and they seem to love being jostled with your walking around the house. 

Does she enjoy being outside?  Maybe this is a time for a long stroller walk.

Good luck, don't get frustrated (ha, ha)...y'all will figure it out - she's just as new to this as you are  

almostjones

Thanks so much for all of the great replies.  Good to know it's normal...and good to hear that we get to do this growth spurt thing again in a couple of weeks!  Haha

Last night was actually pretty nice.  She stayed calm, fell asleep in my arms at 10:30 and stayed asleep when I put her in her bouncer.  We got an hour of sleep before she woke up at 11:30 to eat, then we were back asleep by 12 until 3.  No crying! 

CareBear01

almostjones:

Thanks so much for all of the great replies.  Good to know it's normal...and good to hear that we get to do this growth spurt thing again in a couple of weeks!  Haha

Last night was actually pretty nice.  She stayed calm, fell asleep in my arms at 10:30 and stayed asleep when I put her in her bouncer.  We got an hour of sleep before she woke up at 11:30 to eat, then we were back asleep by 12 until 3.  No crying! 

I feel like it's a little easier if you know of a "reason" of why they are fussy.  So, even though it's going to suck at 6 weeks, you at least know what's coming to prepare!  :-)

duchessII81

You might check out the book The Wonder Weeks. I found it helpful to know when to expect the growth spurts and what was happening before/during/after each one.

amandajoyce

Do you swaddle? Check out "The Happiest Baby on the Block." Ours was the same way - the only way she or I got any sleep from about 11pm on was if we were co-sleeping. It worked for us, but do what makes you comfortable. Once we found the book mentioned above and implemented the swaddling and putting her to sleep in the swing (along with a baby white noise app for the iphone) sleeping was much easier for all of us!