BFF's OOS wedding scheduled for my due date, HELP!

agent79@me.com

So...I just found out I'm pregnant, and my best friend and MOH in my wedding just announced her engagement and wedding date. It is a few days before my Due Date, in another state!

 

I am only 6 weeks along, and so haven't announced it to anyone yet. I am pretty sure my doctor will not allow me to travel to Las Vegas 1 week before my baby is due. My best friend even told me jokingly "You're not allowed to get pregnant now, because my wedding is in 9 months. LOL"

 

CRAP! What would you do? I am freaking out about telling her, and I really never thought I'd miss her wedding.

laurakaz13

Tell her ASAP. 

RunningGal900

If it were me, I would tell her sooner than later. She just got engaged and you have been pregnant for 6 weeks. You've done nothing wrong and if she's truly your best friend she will be happy and excited for you. If you tell her soon, she can make the decision as to whether to change her wedding date or keep it as is and risk you not being able to be there. I would just have an honest conversation with her. I understand the desire to wait - we haven't told most of our friends or family yet either, but if I was presented with this situation, I would tell my best friend.

agent79@me.com

Just the thought of telling her is making me nauseous. OK.

weelass24

Um, the airlines won't let you travel either.  Sucks, but looks like you are going to have to miss it.

RunningGal900

agent79@me.com:

Just the thought of telling her is making me nauseous. OK.

This early she can still likely make the decision to move the date (if she chooses). If you wait until 12 weeks, maybe she will have sent Save the Dates, booked other things, etc and will be more upset that she didn't know sooner. If you tell her now she may decide to keep the date and you'll have to miss the wedding, which sucks, but is her right.

I'm a firm believer that no one should have to put their TTC plans on hold for a wedding, but in this situation, she wasn't engaged when you got pregnant! She can't be mad at you, you've done nothing wrong. You are bringing a child into the world, that's more important than a wedding. My favorite cousin, who is more like a sister to me than a cousin, almost couldn't come to our wedding because she was pregnant with twins. I would have been so sad if she couldn't be there, but those little boys are more important to me! She was able to make it, but if she hadn't been able to, I would have been more concerned about the safety of my baby cousins, than her missing my wedding.

Seriously, tell her. Give her all the information and let her make a decision.

luvdv8

You need to tell her ASAP. Let her know you feel really bad but that you just won't be able to travel at that point. Let her know that this is pretty much the only circumstance in which you wouldn't be attending and that you're sorry that everything worked out that way.

Also, quick note, if she does opt to change her wedding date so that you can be there, know that after the birth of a baby lots of things can happen. I wound up hospitalized the month following my DD's birth with a very serious breast abscess, had an operation, and was under at home nursing care for another month afterward- just don't make any promises because you never know how you or baby will be doing following delivery.

Disneygeek77

agent79@me.com:

Just the thought of telling her is making me nauseous. OK.

Why do you think she will get mad at you?  She has no right to be angry. DIsappointed sure but not angry. 

Aniegbuna

I would totally tell her too. If she's your best friend she will understand and make the choice that is best for her. I would hate to miss my best friend's wedding too but at the same time I would understand if she decided to keep the date she originally chose.

agent79@me.com

Thanks ladies. I appreciate the help. I'm telling her today. 

MaeTyner

I am in a wedding in March the month I'm due so I told my friend as soon as I found out so she could find someone else.  She called me back a few days later and decided to move the wedding date to June, she said she was stressed out planning and me getting pregnant was a sign she needed to move that date.  I'm so excited I still get to be in her wedding!

asl71476

My best friend had agreed to be in my wedding when I got engaged last year and she called me at 8 weeks pregnant to tell me she was due a few days before the wedding. I couldn't have been happier for her. If she's a best friend, she'll be thrilled at your news and excited to meet your baby when she gets back from her honeymoon! I know I was!

ablabs

oh my gosh i feel your pain.  i am in almost in an exact situation.  one of my good friends and bridesmaid from my wedding is getting married in another state the week of my due date and she asked me to be a bridesmaid just a few weeks before i got pregnant.  i feel sooo bad but i hope she can be happy for me.  i am going to tell her i want to do everything to help her beforehand and throw her a shower.  good luck to you.

MG7

You can't fly that pregnant, you're dr. isn't the only one who will say no. I think you're just going to have to suck it up and let her know. She'll probably be upset but if she's really that good of a friend she'll get over it and be happy for you. Congrats by the way

soon to be Mrs. Connolly

Ya, you need to tell her, NOW!!!  If it is a big deal to her, she can change the date, that stinks.  Did she know you were going to be trying??

flamingos2010

tell her right away.. My MOH was due one week after my wedding as well. She was huge and cute in the wedding   She was all worried I'd be upset that she'd be 9 months pregnant and I was totally offended that she'd think that!

Other than having to change the dress choices for the bridesmaids.. and her hormonal bawling during the speech, all was well!    I'm not sure about traveling that close to a due date, but tell her right away so there is still time to figure out plan B's!