Need some hospital birth moral support :(

JaxonD85

Hi All So I apologize for mostly lurking... at any rate, I need... I don't know what I need. Some cross between advice and to be told to get over myself?

So it's complicated, but because of my insurance I basically had to have a UMiami OB. I like her... mostly, but she certainly has never done anything to convince me that my business means anything to her (which, maybe it doesn't) . This also means that I have to deliver at Jackson, which I realize has a great maternity ward and the best NICU in the area and blah blah... but the more I learn about it, and their policies, the less I want to deliver there. I just hate hospitals, and it's the ugliest, strictest, most institutional hospital I've ever seen... and then I find out today that the baby has to stay for 48 hours after delivery, no matter how healthy she is, which is a nightmare, because I want to be there in the first place, let alone for what could easily become 3 days/nights. 

So I guess my question is, can anyone help convince me that I want to have the baby there? Because that would be awesome, and my OB sure as hell couldn't be bothered to. It's like she knows I know I have no choice, and it's way too late to switch even if I decided I didn't care about the out-of-network costs. Right now I just want to pretend I don't notice when I'm in labor and accidentally have the baby in my living room. I realize this is not a great plan. Is there any way I can ditch my OB at the last minute and that a birth center staffed by calm, wonderful midwives who will let me walk around while I'm in labor will magically appear in South Miami somewhere?

 Anyone think that pregnancy hormones/insomnia have just rotted my brain and I shouldn't be allowed to make my own decisions anymore? That's fine too. Thanks in advance!

MelanieJH1016

I dont know anything about the hospitals or birth centers in Miami... but I do know that most people do not like hospitals. They are not the most fun places to be... however, it IS the safest place to have your baby. Having gone through a hospital birth and 2 night stay, I will say that as much as being there kinda sucks, it is really nice to have the help of the nurses and the reassurance that your baby is doing well for those 2 nights.  Yes, you will be ready to go home when your stay is over, but you will probably be glad you had as much time there as they give you.

TayLynn

While home birth and birth center births are safe for low risk mothers and babies, having an UNASSISTED home birth (without a healthcare provider) is extremely risky and irresponsible.  So yeah, your plan of waiting at home until it's too late isn't a good one. 

 But there are options.  Really it's never too late to switch healthcare providers unless you're at a point that a new doctor will not take you on.  I've had plenty of students that switch at the middle of the second trimester to the beginning of the third.

One of my friends switched from her OB to the birth center at 37 weeks.  She had her baby one week later.  Talk about just in time, LOL!

Florida law states that midwifery care must be covered by insurance plans in the state of Florida, whether they are in network or out of network.

Jackson has a well known midwifery program there.  Ask around for referrals.

HBC has a short explaination on their site and can make the phone calls to help you verify if that is true in your case. 

A Birth Center in Hallandale is owned by an OB and midwife husband/wife.

If you do decide you must continue with an OB that you dislike, there are things you can do to make the most of your birth experience.  Be educated so you can be a good advocate for your care. 

Don't go to the hospital too early in labor.  Learn the emotional, physical, and behavior sign posts of labor so you can more accurately judge your labor progress.  The sooner you go to the hospital, often the more interventions and restrictions you will be subject to. 

Just because you they want you hooked up to constant EFM (which is NOT ACOG's guidelines for a low risk patient) you can still have some mobilty around the bedside as long as the cords reach.  If the baby has engaged in the pelvis then there's really no chance of a cord prolapse which is why they are sometimes concerned with mobility after your water has broken.

Hire a doula (I have some recommendations if you need some) to help you.  Even if your OB or the hospital has some policy against doulas, the doula can become your "friend."  Just send me an email for the recommendations or if you have any questions.  tspericht@gmail.com  

Did you check with your insurance about a required hospital stay?  Some moms choose to check out AMA after 24 hours if they can demonstrate good breastfeeding skills if that's what you're doing and support at home.  You just need to verify your insurance.  That's something you can make the final decision on once you have the baby.  You may decide to stay the full 48 hours.  You can always room in with the baby during that time.

 Good luck with your birth!  You can still make it your own.

 

britishbride05

I gave birth at Jackson for my 1st...

here's the deal, at least with my experience.  Until I made sure that EVERYONE knew I had health insurance, they wouldn't look at me twice.  Once all the nurses knew I was a paying patient, that I had insurance, they were very doting.  Make sure you let them know you want a private room, if you do decide to stay with your ob.  As for their policies... they were very strict about how many people could be in the room at one time, but I was nice to the nurses, so they would bvend their rules.  They gave us the option between in-room sleeping or nursery sleeping with Abby, and that was great.  We were also allowed to keep Abby in our room until 11 or 12 and then take her to the nursery for 4-5 hours so we could get rest.  Baptist was very strict on 10-7 in the nursery, no more, no less ( as far as i remember!) 

I was given a private room and was kept away from a lot of the... more warier of characters.  i did have to stay there for 4 days, but I was high risk and had complications.  Yes, you may not enjoy staying a few days in a hospital, but for the sake of my health (and Abby, who was born 4 weeks early) I was happy to do it.

good luck with your birth and your decision.  I had the UMiami obs as well (mainly b/c they're the only high risk obs in miami who will actually deliver.  perinatologists won't) and i think all in all it was as good a situation it could be.  It wasn't ideal, but it wasn't hellish.  All that matters is that you get the greatest care and that you enjoy that first moment you see your LO.  L&D is never going to go the way you plan, so just make the best of it

britishbride05

oh, i will say, as much as i wanted to go home and spend time with my new family, it was amazing having all that support and hands-on "training" with the nursing staff.  No other time will you be able to lay in bed for a few hours with your munchkin and have people bring you food (maybe not 5 star food, but it's food) and let you eat in bed lol 

JaxonD85

Thanks I promise I won't actually have the baby at home, unassisted... I know that's irresponsible.

 I hadn't thought about talking to my insurance company (just the hospital)- at some level they may be on my side if it saves them $!