IslamoradaBride09

wmramsel

Didn't want to completely high jack the other post, though I'm thinking it already happened..

DH is very different from his family.  His older brother is not.  I'm not sure how his younger brother will turn out.  But let me tell you, if DH acted like his older brother at all- I would have never married him.  FSIL is a saint for putting up with what she does.  It also seems that the more the boys branch out (like DH going to college in IN), the more they realize their immediate family isn't normal.  We have talked extensively about how we want to raise our children, and neither of us agree with a lot of how his parents worked things.  We agree on how we want to raise our kids- I'm just afraid that if he moved back, he would be more susceptible to his family's influences than he is here in SC with me to say "uh, that isn't normal."  He has trouble seeing how crazy his mother is sometimes- which I don't think is that uncommon.

wmramsel

PS. MIL is Korean and thinks that the man's family becomes the woman's family when two people get married.  She literally acts like my family doesn't exist, especially when it comes to grandchildren.  I know that DH would make sure that my parents saw our children- but probably not as much as if I were alive and not as much if MIL is sitting there b!tching about it.  

IslamoradaBride09

Ah, OK-- I totally understand the cultural thing. Asian parents/in-laws are legendary.

wmramsel

IslamoradaBride09:

Ah, OK-- I totally understand the cultural thing. Asian parents/in-laws are legendary.

Yes, it has been....interesting.  She gets more and more "old fashioned" Korean as she gets older, and his dad can be just weird and very introverted.  DH is VERY different from his immediate family but his mother is just...brutal when it comes to getting what she wants.  Example:  she threatened to "make" the whole family (extended family as well) cut off all ties with him if we lived together before we were married (we were going to for a year).  It is a lot to deal with, but since moving away DH has been a lot better about putting his foot down

IslamoradaBride09

Oh my goodness, I can't even imagine! I have heard just the absolute worst things about Asian in-laws, especially mothers-in-law. It is definitely cultural-- their MILs treated them like dirt so they feel entitled to do to the same, even if the second generation is more liberated/Americanized. I am glad to hear that your H is on your side.