MIL Vent- mind your own ****ing business....

wmramsel

You know its bad when DH makes an excuse to get off the phone with her.

So yesterday we are headed to the grocery store because we literally have nothing in the house fresh produce wise and I hadn't had vegetables in like 2 days.  MIL calls as we are getting in the car- DH can't hear anything so he hangs up.  MIL calls back and instantly starts berating him about hanging up on her- he was like, I couldn't hear anything, what was I supposed to do?  So that set the tone of the convo up.  Not 30 seconds into the conversation (before she asks how either of us are doing), DH tells her we are picking up some groceries, I hear her say something, then DH says "We DO budget, so don't even say that."

Instantly I am pissed off.  Every fvcking time either of us talk to this woman she makes some comment about how we need to save more money and how we shouldn't go out to eat as often (the last time we went out to eat was after my 20 week ultrasound, the time before that, we were in MD....yea we go out SOOOOOOO much) or shouldn't buy as much (again, we just sold the PS3, 3 purses, our table, and trying to sell my DSi, and possibly our surround sound system, and got rid of our Direct TV- isn't that the opposite of buying??).  I mean, WTF are we supposed to do more of?  DH works 3 jobs AND donates plasma twice a week, and I work on top of school.  We were using his plasma donating money to buy groceries..... 

My vote is we quit going to MD to see them and save the $400 it costs us in gas and food (she never has ANYTHING in the house but fried rice and ramen noodles...so we literally have to go out if we want a decent, even half way healthy meal).

She did eventually ask how I was....not one q about her granddaughter- you know the one she hounded us for 2 years to have... and DH told her 5 minutes into the convo that we were headed into the grocery store and he had to go...we were still in the car 10minutes away... 

IslamoradaBride09

She sounds like a miserable person. I would second your vote to not waste money on visiting her-- not when all you get from her is negativity. If she wants to see you, she can come to you!

nurseJK

Would your DH ever bring these things up with her? I mean, it is rediculous, yes he will always be her kid but for realz, you two are married adults! I really think he needs to have a talk with her. Do you want this to continue for the rest of the pg... and possibly after?

Fergie+1

She sounds like a charming lady.

Save your $400, and do NOT invite her down in lieu of going. Don't go up there after having LO, either. And if she's so worried about your finances, she can do the decent thing and help you out.

I'm sorry, but I don't put up with crap from family. That's why I haven't spoken to my mother in 4-some-odd years.

wmramsel

nurseJK:

Would your DH ever bring these things up with her? I mean, it is rediculous, yes he will always be her kid but for realz, you two are married adults! I really think he needs to have a talk with her. Do you want this to continue for the rest of the pg... and possibly after?

He has talked to her about stuff before and the result is usually some passive aggressive BS.  He finally talked to her about a year ago or so about bringing up the grandkids issue to me every time we talked- she stopped calling me.  And there were 3 different days out of the week we were in MD that she flat ignored me for various reasons.  One of them was because we didn't go to a baptist church (I am NOT baptist) we had never been to before the weekend we were all in VA- I'm on vacation for Christ's sake and we don't go to church on a regular basis when we are in SC!  Dh didn't go either- so I got the cold shoulder.  

However, I may be having a chat with him pretty soon because this is getting to be ridiculous.  It's seriously none of her fing business and I'm not going to be chastised for it when she doesn't know what she is talking about. 

wmramsel

Fergie+1:

She sounds like a charming lady.

Save your $400, and do NOT invite her down in lieu of going. Don't go up there after having LO, either. And if she's so worried about your finances, she can do the decent thing and help you out.

I'm sorry, but I don't put up with crap from family. That's why I haven't spoken to my mother in 4-some-odd years.

Oh I don't from my family.  I try to let DH deal with his family, because it isn't pretty when I do- they definitely aren't used to someone who will stand up for themselves and not take their sh!t. 

swrlygrl

WOW it's suck a shame you are just so pregnant and uncomfortable that you can no longer make that 4 hr drive *wink*wink* seriously that situation doesn't sound so great. But sounds like you have a good hubby and he stands by your side

mjlewis101

Seriously, stop going to visit her and when she says something about it say "well, you were right and we thought we should start by saving the $400 spent visiting you, since we've already cut back ALL of our other bills!".

 

pawcall

imo, unless you're hitting her up for cash, your finances are none of her business.  I'd tell her as much.

Ditto to PP who suggest no longer spending the $$ to go see her.  she sounds like a miserable old biddy that isn't worth your time.

wmramsel

It is an 8-9 hour drive.... That is definitely something to bring up.  We are going to MD to BIL and FSIL wedding at the end of Oct.  And we planned on taking baby to MD at the end of May...maybe we'll just have to skip that one since we will need the money!!