Probably too early to worry but....(long)

whits900

...I've been doing a lot of research on birthing methods etc, and am hoping to go as "natural" as possible (I.e if something really is wrong, I will gladly take the epidural and c-section) but one thing that I am really worried about is an episiotomy. I have a friend who two years after her second son was born is still having problems and is having to have additional surgery to fix it. And apparently, my OB (whom I love) is episiotomy-happy ( I know others who go to her). I'm definitely going to tell her my wants and everything, but I guess I'm just being a worry-wort with all of the research saying that most traditional doctors are going to push drugs, and additional surgery. My MIL (whom I also love) is a fertility nurse and when I told her I didn't want an episiotomy she almost laughed and said I wouldn't be able to avoid it (which I completely disagree with....but it's not worth getting into a fight over)...anyway, sorry this is so long....I guess I'd like it if 2nd time moms can give me some hope that episiotomies do NOT have to happen. Ive considered a midwife or a doula, but I still want to be in the hospital, so I guess I have to ask my dr whats possible.

mchupie

My mom and sister both had to have episiotomies.  I'm hoping to avoid it as well, but I'd much rather be cut than tear.  Ouch.

holiday819

i know how you feel when i had my DD i didn't want an episiotomy, which my midwife had said that she would have to give me one if i couldn't push DD out and on the next push she was out.  i did tear and only needed a couple of stitches which i'd rather have a couple over 10-20.  personally i'd rather tear than be cut, b/c when they cut you they can also cut into muscle or it can lead to tearing to a deeper degree.  either way, tearing or cutting is gonna hurt when its healing.  at the same time there are things you can do to minimize tearing.  and i'd make sure that on your birth plan you make it very clear that you don't want an episiotomy and have DH make sure that your dr doesn't cut you.  

elizjane26

Alot of women I know avoided episiotomies, so it's definitely possible.

CandiceMC87

omg... cringe...yikes ...

CandiceMC87

omg... cringe...yikes ...

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CandiceMC87

omg... cringe...yikes ...

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ladipale

I'll be doing perineal massage in the last few weeks to stretch the region to avoid tearing/episiotomy

izzourclue

I think as long as your doctor understands you would rather tear than be cut if it comes to it, they'll leave you alone.  I am actually considering a doula (we are going to a free discussion with the hospital about doulas).  I wasn't before, but I started to think about it and might want a medical advocate other than DH.  Someone else to speak up when it looks like the doctor might want to go against your wishes. 

I will also be telling them no to an episiotomy.  I have read that tearing is actually better than the cut.  The cut is easier for the doctor to stitch up, but the the tears are usually less severe and heal better.  

holiday819

izzourclue:

I think as long as your doctor understands you would rather tear than be cut if it comes to it, they'll leave you alone.  I am actually considering a doula (we are going to a free discussion with the hospital about doulas).  I wasn't before, but I started to think about it and might want a medical advocate other than DH.  Someone else to speak up when it looks like the doctor might want to go against your wishes. 

I will also be telling them no to an episiotomy.  I have read that tearing is actually better than the cut.  The cut is easier for the doctor to stitch up, but the the tears are usually less severe and heal better.  

i agree with these!  you and DH might feel more comfortable about having someone else watching your back while you and DH are focused on pushing.  and it seems like almost everything drs do is easier on them and harder on mom

CandiceMC87

I am soo sorry people.I don't even know what happened. I was in the middle of composing a message and I must've clicked something because it posted! I tried to delete but it wouldn't let me!

honey740

My sister's OB said during delivery he doesn't to episiotomy's  he was really patient and used some lube and my sister had a very tiny tear. I am going to ask that my OB do the same.

cera.rn

ladipale:

I'll be doing perineal massage in the last few weeks to stretch the region to avoid tearing/episiotomy

I plan on doing this as well

KeriMac

They can definitely be avoided and if you are adament about not wanting one, your OB should oblige. 

I will say this though - be open-minded.  I didn't want one at ALL and my OBs/ MWs are actually against them, but after 5 1/2 hours of pushing, my MW consulted with the OB on call and she strongly suggested the episiotomy.  The OB did one and DD was out the next push.  It was a small, clean cut, I didn't even have her numb me for the stitching, and it healed very quickly.  I was able to pee later that day with no more discomfort than I would have without it (and BMs were no prob either - sorry if too TMI, lol!!)

My friend has two sons - with her first, she tore in six places and had ice packs on her nether regions for days.  The second time around, she was open to the episiotomy and ended up not needing it and did not tear. 

It's your choice but I just suggest an open mind!

SBear12

FWIW, I had a med-free birth and a 2nd degree tear with Lyla (but no episiotomy), and it healed amazingly well. I barely had any pain at all, while being stitched or in the days that followed. So while obviously everyone's different, and it can be good to prepare for the worst, sometimes it helps to know that your best case scenario is possible too.

CAB'smommy

I've had both.  small episiotomy with DS and slight tear with DD.  Both hurt just as bad.  My tear actually took a little longer to heal.  You can worry all you want, but it won't do anything.  Depends on the head size of that baby you're pushing out.  Sometimes no matter what, they just don't quite fit.  Try the massage to help though.  If anything, the tear/cut won't be as severe.  And maybe you'll be lucky and have nothing to worry about at all.

RHitch

I had a episiotomy when I delivered DD and 2+ years later I still have pain down there.  I am definitey trying to avoid getting one again.  I do not think it's too early for you to be thinking about this at all.  I would rather tear than to go through the pain I've went through over the past 2+ years.  I was adament on NOT getting one when I delivered DD, but my OB as well as the nurses in the room said I needed one.  They knew better than me of course, I mean...how many babis have I delivered?  Although I do think I made the right decision, it was extremely painful decision to make!!!

whits900

Thanks all - I've heard aout the perineal massage and I also read something about just taking it slower and using a warm compress to help lossen it up. I think I'm partially worried this early because based on the ultrasound picks, our baby boy has a head like his daddy...I love my DH, but he daoes have a larger than average sized head....

sichmek5

I am also DREADING the chance of an episiotomy.  Luckily my midwife says she doesn't usually do them.  Also this is what I've read in quite a few of my baby books..(Quote from What to expect when you're expecting though) "Historically, episiotomies were performed to prevent spontaneous tearing of the perineum and to reduce the risk of fetal birth trauma (such as when the baby's head would push against the perineum for a long time), but these days it is recognized that laboring women who tear spontaneously during delivery recover in the same (or less) time and often with less pain and with fewer complications (such as fecal and urinary incontinence, infection, or blood loss) than those with episiotomies. What's more, research has shown that episiotomies are more likely than spontaneous tears to turn into serious third- or fourth-degree tears (those that go close to or through the rectum)."  Also they said that its typically not routine any longer so if you're OB is still stuck in that mindset for all deliveries I'd be concerned when the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists no longers recommends doing them routinely.