New here - Is it too late to get my money back?

shannonalise

Hi ladies,

DH and I decided that we want the most natural birth possible. I don't want to feel rushed through labor, I don't want any unnecessary interventions, I don't want to be forced to have a cesarian if "labor is not progressing", etc. 

But I'd already booked my first appointment with a new ob/gyn and I read in one of my books that it's normal to ask your ob for a referral to a midwife/birthing center. So I hadn't originally planned to stick it out with the ob/gyn the whole ride, but before I could even see the doctor, I was filling in paperwork (as a new patient), had a pelvic exam with the OB coordinator, and was discussing the future of my pregnancy with two of the nurses there. 

We were charged $270 before we even filled out paperwork. I was later told that this was the first half of all of my OOP expenses for my pre-natal, labor, delivery, etc. and that I would pay the remaining half at my next appointment. (I might be recalling something incorrectly, but that was the gist.) 

Everything happened so fast - they asked me to sign a contract that I read through very carefully - there were several things I didn't like and wasn't comfortable with and mentioned to DH and the nurse at the time - information authorizing the use of various types of interventions (vacuum, forceps, etc.), and a bunch of other things that made me uncomfortable. The contract basically described the labor and delivery I did not want. The nurse said a few reassuring things to me that led me to sign the contract, but overall, she treated me like I was being strange for expressing concerns about being forced or rushed through labor and other things.

But now I'm bothered.  I feel like I sold myself, my unborn child and DH short. I don't feel that any of this is what I want and I really want to find a midwife and start all over on a more natural course.

How unheard of would that be? We've already spent over $200 and we really can't afford to let that just go down the drain, but I am really feeling like it's important we find another path toward labor and delivery that jives with our philosophies and preferences. 

Any thoughts would be so very much appreciated!! 

papagena

Call, say you've decided to change providers and request the money that you don't owe for that first 'exam' back.  If that doesn't work, see if they have a patient relations person, or if they are affiliated with a hospital, speak to the hospital's patient relations person.  If that doesn't work, I'd contact your insurance to see if you can get reimbursed the amount that you shouldn't have had to pay OOP from them (some ins companies will do this if you submit receipts, etc).

$277 is nothing to let go of if they're already making you sign contracts over interventions when you're nowhere close to delivery.  That is just wrong.  I'm not saying you should be out of the money - but even if you have to go to the BBB or some such, there's no way I'd continue with that practice, personally.  It sounds like they have a lot of preconceived notions of what you'll 'need' way before you need it.  Not to mention now that they have the contract, I'm sure that there won't be much discussion before they go ahead and do any of those things with you without any further consent.

shannonalise

papagena:

Call, say you've decided to change providers and request the money that you don't owe for that first 'exam' back.  If that doesn't work, see if they have a patient relations person, or if they are affiliated with a hospital, speak to the hospital's patient relations person.  If that doesn't work, I'd contact your insurance to see if you can get reimbursed the amount that you shouldn't have had to pay OOP from them (some ins companies will do this if you submit receipts, etc).

$277 is nothing to let go of if they're already making you sign contracts over interventions when you're nowhere close to delivery.  That is just wrong.  I'm not saying you should be out of the money - but even if you have to go to the BBB or some such, there's no way I'd continue with that practice, personally.  It sounds like they have a lot of preconceived notions of what you'll 'need' way before you need it.  Not to mention now that they have the contract, I'm sure that there won't be much discussion before they go ahead and do any of those things with you without any further consent.

Absolutely! This really, really bothered me. I asked a million questions trying to convey that I absolutely would not want certain things unless this and this had been tried first, and they just acted like I was being paranoid or something. It was just ridiculous. 

Thank you so much for the advice. I'm going to look into this right away. 

Fun2Dream

I agree 100% with Papagena.

MissyOlivePants

Also  - I don't know if the law applies, but I know it some places you can get a 3 day "buyers remorse".

That does really suck & sounds very pushy.  I'd change in a heart beat, money down or not.

Cheekers2010

Yeah, there is something really fishy about how pushy they were with you.  I would definitely ask for the biz manager and try and get some of my money back. 

Also, it's a little scary that they are having you sign a contract with a lot of things that you are totally uncomfortable with.  Of course they made you feel like you were being paranoid because that's probably how they get clients.  I would RUN not walk away from that practice.

You deserve to have the best care and for my money that means a midwife. Do some research in your area and find someone you're comfortable with.  Most midwives will do a introductory meeting for free with you.  That way you can interview as many as you need to find one that fits you the best.  Most OB's do the same thing which is why I find the place you went to particularly shocking.

 

Papa Bear's Bride

They made you sign a "contract" that used words like 'vacuume extractor' and 'forceps'? RUN FOR THE HILLS!!! It sounds dubious to me. Any place that uses those terms loosely, especially when there are so many birth defects associated with their use, sounds like they're having you sign this contract because they're covering their own a$$es if something goes seriously wrong with your LO.

MissyOlivePants

Did they make you watch a video & then sign in regards to you not being able to sue them if something is wrong with the baby?  (there is a special term for it that I cannot think of for the life of me right now!)

shannonalise

Kellog+1:

Yeah, there is something really fishy about how pushy they were with you.  I would definitely ask for the biz manager and try and get some of my money back. 

Also, it's a little scary that they are having you sign a contract with a lot of things that you are totally uncomfortable with.  Of course they made you feel like you were being paranoid because that's probably how they get clients.  I would RUN not walk away from that practice.

You deserve to have the best care and for my money that means a midwife. Do some research in your area and find someone you're comfortable with.  Most midwives will do a introductory meeting for free with you.  That way you can interview as many as you need to find one that fits you the best.  Most OB's do the same thing which is why I find the place you went to particularly shocking.

 

I completely agree with this. I've been researching midwives all morning. I feel pretty resentful of this office, but even worse for even signing anything and not standing up for myself right then and there. 

shannonalise

Papa Bear's Bride:

They made you sign a "contract" that used words like 'vacuume extractor' and 'forceps'? RUN FOR THE HILLS!!! It sounds dubious to me. Any place that uses those terms loosely, especially when there are so many birth defects associated with their use, sounds like they're having you sign this contract because they're covering their own a$$es if something goes seriously wrong with your LO.

Yikes! So true! I'm just hoping our insurance covers whatever we decide to do - midwife/birthing center/homebirth, etc. 

shannonalise

MissyOlivePants:

Did they make you watch a video & then sign in regards to you not being able to sue them if something is wrong with the baby?  (there is a special term for it that I cannot think of for the life of me right now!)

Wow! No, we didn't have to do that, but screw that! That's awful! 

longingtoholdher2010

I am not sure if you can get the money back or not but the $277 is really not that much to discard for the better birth that you are wanting. It may be hard to just let it slide but I would definitely not want to be forced into a birth that was designed by the hospital that doesn't match any of my beliefs or philosophies at all. The nurse did exactly what they will try to do to you on delivery day, they will keep shoving interventions into your face until you break and end up having a birth that you can't feel fulfilled by. I definitely would not ask the ob/gyn for a midwife referral because generally they kind of look down their noses at midwives. I would just research online for midwives in your local area and try to find one that way. That is what I did and I love my midwife she is amazing. I didn't switch to a midwife until the 3rd trimester as well, although not as late as you the switch would still be well worth your while, and if your insurance won't cover it, she may give you a discounted price since she hasn't seen you for the entire pregnancy. That's how we were able to afford ours. Your comfort is the most important thing, don't let the hospital or ob bully you.

BlueRidgeMama

I would try to get the money back and get out of the contract, but even if you can't, I would try to figure out how to move on anyway. You really don't want to have any regrets about your prenatal care and especially about your labor and delivery. Do what you have to do to have the support and care you need, even if it means you wasted $270. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's not your fault they bullied you. Anyway, you can probably get it back, at least most of it. GL! And don't compromise yourself... this is a big deal! 

cheerleader.08

You should be able to get your money back.  That is just an estimate of what you will owe after insurance.  Insurance will not pay until you deliver.  They should just charge you a co-pay for the exam and you might have to pay for your ultrasound.  It is normal in my experience to pay for the birth before it happens, but I have never seen a contract talking about that.  I think when I checked into the hospital I just had to say yes or no to life saving techniques to me and'or my baby if the need arose.