March 2011 Moms

I GIVE UP!

I am SOOO angry right now and I need to vent and I can't do it to DH. He just informed me that he is on call for Thanksgiving again. This is the 5th year in a row. Which means this is the 5th year in a row that I will not get to have a Thanksgiving meal with my family. Plus DH already has it in his mind that we aren't making the trip down to my family for Christmas b/c it's kinda a long drive and we have to pass through a huge whiteout/snow belt area and he doesn't want me traveling through that and getting so stressed out that far along. He told me last year he would talk to his supervisor to make sure he wasn't on call. There are 3 other people who could be on call, one with less seniority than DH. I seriously just want to cry. I don't even think I can be in the same room with him right now. 

 

I should also add that his family lives about a half hour away so he can see them whenever he wants, but apparently I am never allowed to see mine again. 

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Re: I GIVE UP!

  • Can you invite your family to come visit for Thanksgiving? My DH had to work last Thanksgiving and will have to work again this Thanksgiving, so his parents drove four hours to eat with us.
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  • so sorry!  i am not a very nice wife and don't respond well when my dh acts like this.  i would say, ok, fine, you want to be on call thanksgiving, i am going to see my family without you.  and i am sorry you don't want to drive for christmas but i do, so i will go on my own.  but you probably have a more constructive way to deal with this. 
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  • I'm sorry you are going through that.  I understand what you mean about not seeing family.  My family is a plane trip to the other coast, DH's family is a 7 hour drive.  DH finds it a lot easier to plan trips to see his family instead of mine.  It's frustrating and not fair.  I kind of tricked DH this year and told him we can spend Christmas with his family this year - if I can have Christmas with my family next year.  I figured my family would rather wait and see the baby next year.

    I hope you guys can work something out. 

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  • imagemissmiss307:
    Can you invite your family to come visit for Thanksgiving? My DH had to work last Thanksgiving and will have to work again this Thanksgiving, so his parents drove four hours to eat with us.

    I would, but it's still not the same. It wouldn't be my sister, niece, grandmother, cousins, and all my aunts and uncles. It would just be my mom and dad.  

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  • imageazpharmgirl:
    so sorry!  i am not a very nice wife and don't respond well when my dh acts like this.  i would say, ok, fine, you want to be on call thanksgiving, i am going to see my family without you.  and i am sorry you don't want to drive for christmas but i do, so i will go on my own.  but you probably have a more constructive way to deal with this. 

    I think like this too... 

  • imageazpharmgirl:
    so sorry!  i am not a very nice wife and don't respond well when my dh acts like this.  i would say, ok, fine, you want to be on call thanksgiving, i am going to see my family without you.  and i am sorry you don't want to drive for christmas but i do, so i will go on my own.  but you probably have a more constructive way to deal with this. 

    Probably what I would do too!  Good luck though, regardless of what you decide!

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  • I hate those kind of conversations/fights!  He's kind of jumping the gun on the whole Xmas thing.  How far is your family?  I hope you guys can come to some kind of solution with the holidays!
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  • I'm sorry.  DH is on call every holiday, including this coming Monday.  Could you have him take off the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and drive you to your family's?  Then you can have your Thanksgiving and he can worry about work?  That or really stress your desire to see them on Christmas?  Sorry your going though this!
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  • imagemissmiss307:
    Can you invite your family to come visit for Thanksgiving? My DH had to work last Thanksgiving and will have to work again this Thanksgiving, so his parents drove four hours to eat with us.

    Ditto this. If they're willing to tavel that would be a great way to spend the holidays with them.

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  • I know exactly how you feel. Over the last 6 years that DH and I have been together he has had to work overnights every New Year's Eve regardless of where he was working at the time. It finally got to the point where I stopped staying up to watch the ball drop since I was always home alone or home with DD sleeping. He was fired earlier this year so I am looking forward to actually getting my 1st kiss this year as the ball drops. My advice to you is urge him to ask his boss if he can get the guy with less seniority to work on call for thanksgiving so he can keep his pregnant wife happy lol. If that doesn't work maybe see if your family would be willing to come to you for Thanksgiving this year since you are pregnant and wouldn't feel comfortable traveling alone. I wish you good luck and hope things work out for the better.
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  • I understand how you feel. My DH has to work every holiday. He is a table games dealer and the casino is open 24/7/365. He works New Years, 4th of July, Thanksgiving and Xmas. Pretty much every big holiday :(  It gets me very upset, especially now with a baby, he will be missing a lot of important parts of holidays. I am very bitter can you tell ;) He however loves his job and its pay decent for our area where we live.
  • imageazpharmgirl:
    so sorry!  i am not a very nice wife and don't respond well when my dh acts like this.  i would say, ok, fine, you want to be on call thanksgiving, i am going to see my family without you.  and i am sorry you don't want to drive for christmas but i do, so i will go on my own.  but you probably have a more constructive way to deal with this. 

    I'm like this as well, I'm sorry but if this happened I would tell him he could stay here by himself because I wouldn't be here.  I would pack and leave and I seriously wouldn't care if came or not.  I don't know why I think this way...maybe my mom's way of thinking??? 

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  • imagethebigmare:

    imageazpharmgirl:
    so sorry!  i am not a very nice wife and don't respond well when my dh acts like this.  i would say, ok, fine, you want to be on call thanksgiving, i am going to see my family without you.  and i am sorry you don't want to drive for christmas but i do, so i will go on my own.  but you probably have a more constructive way to deal with this. 

    I think like this too... 

    This is my thinking as well.

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  • I agree with the other girls - I'd just make plans to go by myself then.  Maybe have someone meet you half way if that makes you feel better.  I know if I hadn't seen my family in five years I'd be moving mountains to get to them.
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