Would you be offended?

*Amy*

DH thinks I am being sensitive, I think the girls were rude.  My belly is very big.  I am carrying all in the belly this time whereas with the boys  I was more all over in how I carried. I was at my mom's office yesterday and a couple of girls (one who has had 2 kids so you think she would know) asked when I was due.  When I said Nov, their eyes got really wide and were like, "Wow, you're huge."  I realize my belly is big, but really? I found this rude.  Would you have been offended or am I just being an overly-sensitive pg lady?

KoriBrett

Meh, I got tired of hearing it ALL THE TIME.  But I never thought it was rude.  I was a freaking whale with DS. 

I had people staring at me with horrified "dear god woman don't break water on my floor" looks.  And lots of comments.  He was 9.7lbs and I'm 5ft tall.  Toward the end I had fun with it, it was hilarious to see people's faces when answering "when are you due?"  with "2 days ago" lol

Marce921

I think you're being overly-sensitive. Yes, it was rude. No, she shouldn't have said it. But people become stupid around pregnant ladies, I swear. When I was about 30 weeks pregnant with DS1, I got asked if I was having triplets! I just brushed it off and forgot about it (obviously, not really forgot).

belle204

I think it's just one of those things that comes with being pregnant. You know people are going to make asinine comments and everyone's idea of "big" is different. I wouldn't let it bother you so much.

Ilumine

I think you were being overly sensitive.  By your own admission, you are carrying everything in the tummy.  That means that you are going to look further along than the average pregnant woman would at this point in the pregnancy.

The comment was not so much about YOUR weight, but the BABY's progression.

And I GOT that all of the time.  I only had one pregnancy, but had abdominal surgery when I was in my early 20s (I never had a flat stomach after that).  I ALWAYS looked a 4-6 weeks further along because my stomach muscles just did not hold her in. 

And all of the comments came AFTER I told them how far along I was, never before.

At least this is what I told myself.

r9stedt

Guess I am the odd one out, and been offended.  Maybe hurt is a better word.

That being said, I doubt that they even realize what they said could be offensive.  

 

Zenya

I vote for oversensitive.  For every person who tells you you're big you'll have another to tell you you're tiny.  For every woman who loves to hear she's  big there's another who'll be mortally offended.  People who are told they are tiny are flattered OR they feel offended b/c it implies there's something wrong with the baby.

It's pregnancy small talk. It doesn't mean anything to anyone except the pregnant person.  People just feel obliged to comment one way or another because otherwise the pregnant person might get pissed off b/c people are ignoring that they're knocked up. 

lsufan

I agree that it's incredibly rude, but she probably has no idea how rude it was.  I just think that for your sake you have to let it roll off your back.  

I was big with Evan and got the twins comment all the time.  I also got "Any day now, huh?" when I had 3 months left.  My favorite was a lady from church who commented, "I didn't think you could get any bigger, but you DID!"

adri77

I was all belly with both boys, and I know I was.....I had lots of people see me from behind, and then see the belly and be shocked that I was pregnant b/c I didn't "look" it from behind (If they knew me pp they would have been able to tell!)  So, no, I didn't get upset by comments that my belly was huge.....it was SUPPOSED to be.  I personally think there is nothing more beautiful than a big old pregnant belly, regardless of how your weight has been distributed throughout the rest of your body......so I guess if a person is specifically saying your BELLY looks huge, as opposed to "wow YOU are huge" I wouldn't get offended!

ali-1411

Zenya:

I vote for oversensitive.  For every person who tells you you're big you'll have another to tell you you're tiny.  For every woman who loves to hear she's  big there's another who'll be mortally offended.  People who are told they are tiny are flattered OR they feel offended b/c it implies there's something wrong with the baby.

It's pregnancy small talk. It doesn't mean anything to anyone except the pregnant person.  People just feel obliged to comment one way or another because otherwise the pregnant person might get pissed off b/c people are ignoring that they're knocked up. 

Ditto.  And its like a silent competition with pregnant women, about who is bigger and who is suffering more.  Don't even try to tell me that you don't compare yourself to every other pregnant lady you see, and think HA!  I'm way worse off than she is.  Pity me!!!!   

Mrs Manners

I think it's a stupid comment to make but I wouldn't allow myself to get offended by it. I think people often make comments without fully considering them.

I've recently lost 40 lbs. I HATE it when people ask me "How much weight have you lost?" I think it's incredibly rude but I don't get offended by it...I just chalk it up to a stupid comment. I'd much rather them say, "Wow...you look great" or "Your weight loss progress has been great" or something flattering without probing for my exact poundage.

jlw2505

I think you are being over sensitive. I was huge - all belly and really low - with both of my girls.  I got the "when are you due?" and  "you are still at work, no baby yet" type comments for the last few months of both of my pregnancies and while it was annoying, it was not rude.  People, for some reason, feel like they can say stuff like to pregnant ladies.  Sort of like touching your baby belly.