Newbie with a new preschooler question

ScoobyM

Hi!  My DD is 2.5 yrs old and had her very first day of preschool today.  Up till now she has been cared for at home by our nanny; she will be going to preschool 9a-2p 2 days a week this year.  I have been a nervous wreck all week preparing for this for various reasons, some of which came to pass and some which didn't.  Now that the first day is over I'm feeling sort of overly emotional and looking for objective opinions from moms with experience.

From the teacher's report and our quick conversation at pickup time, it sounds like overall she did pretty well;  she was happy and never cried or asked for us but she didn't nap and had trouble staying with the group - the last two I expected as she is a bad napper at home and she's never been in a group setting like this, so of course she wouldn't really know what to do.  What is bothering me is that when we first came in, we asked the teacher, how she did and while she said she did pretty well, she also commented, "I can tell she hasn't heard no very often.  That's common with the oldest kids."  So now I keep dwelling on that comment and worrying that my child is totally undisciplined.  The problem is I feel like I am always telling her no to stuff, although I have to admit it takes about 20 times to get her to hear and obey.  The other feedback we got was that she was not a good listener, which I guess goes along with the first comment.

So, if anyone else has gotten similar feedback during your DC's first days at school, how did you take it?  Did you do things differently at home or did you just chalk it up to the whole thing being a new experience?  I feel like I need to do things differently to help her be a better listener but I'm not sure what to do.

Thanks for any advice or opinions!

Halo79RN

a. it's day 1

b. she's 2

c. it's the first day of school and there are a lot of people and many things to distract dd.

let it roll off your sleeve.   

 

ceecee31

It's only her first day so you have to cut your daughter some slack.  And, it's her first experience in a school setting so there's going to be an adjustment period.  She's going to have some "bad days" but I wouldn't even classify this as a "bad day" because again, it's only the first day.

I've been in your shoes with my DD.  She's always had trouble transitioning from one activity to another; when she's 100% focused on something and it's time to stop and move on to something else, she doesn't listen.  Getting her to follow my instructions (or anyone else's for that matter) at those times...it's easier to just throw your hands up and move on.  (Which is what I've done.)  After realizing that my reaction wasn't benefitting myself or DD, I decided to set some standards.  I started asking DD one or two times to do something and if she didn't comply, there would be a consequence.  We don't like to spank, so time outs are our usual "go to".  Now that she's almost 3 (birthday in October) we take away things--TV time, games, playing with neighborhood kids, etc. and that works out well, also.  

You do have to do lots of talking; explain to your daughter that her teacher is a grown up and that she has to follow her instructions.  This is a message you'll have to repeat over and over again and set the expectation that you will accept nothing else.  Tell her that school is place where she'll get to learn fun things and play with other kids--make it a special place just for her!  Also, have a talk with the teacher and let her know that this is something you guys are taking seriously and are working on at home.  Between what you do at home and the way the teacher runs the class, you'll see an improvement in no time.  

So, in a nutshell...cut her (and yourself) some slack but put some actions into place now so that 3-4 months from now this won't be something that you're still dealing with.  GL; I'm sure your daughter will do just great! 

luvmagoldn

Has her hearing been tested?  It might be worth it to check that out if you haven't already had it done.  It could also be that she is a perfectly normal 2.5 year old!  Hopefully she will adapt in the next couple of weeks.

 

abpdjs

it is all brand new to her: new kids, new adults, new setting.  it might take a few weeks for everything to settle down into a routine for her and learn to nap and sit/listen in a group setting.  also, she is not going everyday so it might take a little longer than others that go everyday.

i would recommend just chatting up the teacher for a couple minutes at pickup to get a real feel for her day and how she was (how did she nap, eat, use the potty, etc)  this all affects how dc is during the day too. staying connected with the teacher makes me feel more connected with Carson's day overall.  if it were me i would ask what the teachers do  with the lo's to get them to listen/sit/etc........after the adjustment period.  i would want to know what they are doing to help the new lo's with these skills.  and then at home promote what they are doing at preschool to stay consistent with her.

give her some time to adjust, that is the most important thing right now

 

ScoobyM

Thanks so much to all of you for the feedback and advice.  It helps to have someone who's been there say that it just needs some time and that it is not unexpected that her first days will have some rough spots. I'm plenty hormonal right now so I'm sure that isn't helping but hearing the constructive feedback instead of a glowing report from the teacher got me really emotional.  I don't get very much honest or constructive feedback from my family and friends because they all love my DD and think she is wonderful (or maybe don't feel comfortable telling me where they see me making mistakes) and I have this fear of my child being "that kid" that her teacher complains about at home each night.

So right now I'm going to relax, take some of the suggestions the teacher gave about areas they are going to work on, and take the suggestions you've offered, including cutting both of us some slack for now!  Thanks again!