WWYD - Preschool Related (long)

Ciarrai

I went to the girls' meet-n-greet thing at their preschool today.  DD#1 has gone there the past two years and loved it.  DD#2 started last year and we've always been happy.  Anyway, I really really didn't get a good feeling from DD#1's teacher.  She was very abrupt and abrasive.  When we went upstairs (after the little power point) to get DD#1, she snapped at DD#1 for getting out of her chair to show us what they'd done.  She also snapped at another little boy for taking his pencil out of the little card she gave them as a welcome "present".  Then she told the kids they could get out of their chairs only if their mom was there and they could go.  My friend's DS got up and she snapped at him, "William, is your mother here now?" all snippy.  Both his mom and dad were in the room.  Also, my friend said she was a bit concerned when she found out the kids were in this teacher's class b/c she'd heard she was very strict and abrasive (so it wasn't just me).

I realize that the 4-year-old class will and should have certain expectations when it comes to behavior and such.  There are much better (IMHO) ways of setting those expectations and enforcing her rules.  DD#1 is a really easy kid and does everything she's told.  I just felt like this was the meet-n-greet (not even the first day) and she's snapping at them in front of the parents. What's a "normal" day like?  Will she be expected to sit at her desk with her hands neatly folded all day? 

So WWYD?  Can I email the teacher (if I get her email) to ask about it?  What would you say?  Should I ask the director about it?  Give it a month to see how things settle out?  (Because of how it's set up, I won't have time to talk to DD#1's teacher most days as I'll be picking both up in DD#2's classroom.)  Should I look into moving her?  I'm really tempted to at least ask around to see if there are any openings in other schools.  I just don't want DD#1 to have a "mean" teacher this year when it's just preschool and she doesn't have to.  There will be so many years when I can't move her if I don't feel good and she'll be expected to sit still for hours (reasonably) for the next 13 years.  I just didn't feel good about this environment for her.

knmommy

I would maybe talk to the director about it.  IME 1 teacher can ruin a child's attitude toward school. 

SumnerBride

Can you visit the classroom during class?  I'd maybe spend a day in there to see how she conducts class and interacts with the kids.  Maybe she was just having a bad day?

august06mom

I would talk to the director or find a new school. Here is my thinking about pre-school -- I want to LOVE the teacher. When DS gets older and goes to public school, I won't have much (if any, really) control over who his teachers are. While he's this young, and while I'm still able to choose since I'm paying for it, I want to love his teacher. I want to feel like he really has a great shot at starting the road to school with someone who really knows what he/she is doing.

Part of the reasons we switched DS before he entered the 4's preschool is because I really did not like the teacher at his old school. She sounds like what you're describing -- overly strict, cranky and just not any fun whatsoever.

Ciarrai

I feel a little better knowing I'm not totally overreacting.  I would say that maybe it was a bad day, but for what my friend said about hearing about her before.  I know DD#1 would be fine in there if she stayed, but...I want her to be happy and love it.  She's always loved school and I hate to stop now.  Off to at least see who has any openings if we do decide to move them.  I know there was a PreK program that DH and I both really liked at the Catholic elementary school.  It was just 3X the cost and we didn't feel like it was necessary if that makes any sense.  We might go back and visit there again.  I do remember that I did love both those teachers...

docmay25

I would definetely bring your concerns up to the director.  I used to be a teacher for toddler, preschool age (and school age after school program).  Having a bad day is no excuse.  Of course I had a bad day at work like everyone else does, but working with children you can not take it out on them.  If she isn't showing her best for orientation, what is she like every other day?

Not to say that I would put up a front for the parents, but I would make sure I was especially happy and friendly during orientation so that I could put the parents fears to rest and make the children feel excited about a new school.

Her "strictness" sounds un-called for.  Speaking to a child about removing a pencil?  Her expectations of a preschooler are ridiculous.

LaLaSweets

I don't think that you're over reacting at all. I would go with my gut feeling. Especially since I have to go to work I don't wanna be worried if my lo is gonna get yelled out. Talk to the director and see if maybe you can change her class. I hope it works out for your daughter

jlw2505

I would be talking to the director ASAP and if she really is that strict, I would find someplace else.  Preschool is supposed to be fun.  Yes, part of preschool at age 4 is getting the kids ready for kindergarten but that seems way overboard, especially for the orientation.  I would not be happy with that at all.

wildfloweragain

She may be trying to be really firm and clear with expectations because if she starts out that way, she can ease up, but if she starts off weak she will lose control of the room.  If you're sure you aren't pre-disposed to not liking her because of what you heard and she was clearly out of line, talk to the director now and see if it improves.  The director may be able to re-train her or supervise her better and you'll be helping all the other kids in there.

JenninMA

We went to a meet and greet and DD's new preschool this morning and it was the complete opposite of your experience. I love the teacher and it seems like a great group of kids. DD is seeming a little shy about starting school and I'm thrilled she'll be in such a positive environment. If it were me I'd definitely look into switching teachers or schools (it would bother me that the school employs such a crabby teacher who might put young kids off school altogether).

JenniC1135

This happened to several friends last year.  One of the 3 yr old teachers was flat out horrible.  My friend would ask how the day was when she went to pick her DD up, and the teacher would grunt, "Awful.  They all were so bad."  It was a regular occurrence.  She kicked out several kids as behavior problems, and told my same friend that her DD was "next."  Every parent I know in that class had a bad experience and wishes they'd done something about it and/or spoken up before it was too late into the year to make changes.