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Blended Families
The day you deliver, outside will be fair. Your baby will arrive in the early afternoon. After a labor lasting approximately 44 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 4 pounds, 1 ounces, and will be 22-1/2 inches long. This child will have light blue eyes and some brown hair.
Advice/Help please!
Ok let me start off by saying I have 3 SK's. I have SS #1 (R) 10 years old, SD (E) 8 years old, and SS #2 (K) 8 years old. So BM is trying to convince DH that R needs a cell phone. She said that she wants to be able to call the kids on the cell phone when they are with us for our visitation. BM said that she would give DH a time frame and that is when she would call. The problem here is DH and I think that R is still to immature for a cell phone. Not only that BM has 3 different ways to contact the kids when they are at our house. She can call DH's cell phone, my cell phone, or our house phone. BM doesn't like that fact the DH said that R is to young for the cell phone. So he said how exactly will this work. BM said that she would get him a prepaid cell phone and it would only be used for when the kids are at our house. She said that she would call them on the cell phone between a certain time and she would expect them to answer. So DH was like well that would work the same way when I want to call them right. That I can call the cell phone between a certain time and I will be able to talk to them. Well BM says NO! She said that the only person that can cell them on the cell phone is her. She said that when the kids are at her house then the phone would be cut off. What would you do? Do you think this is right? DH and I think that if the cell phone is cut off at BM's house then it should be cut off at our house since BM has 3 different numbers to contact the kids at our house. Should we allow R to have a cell phone or keep it the way it is right now? We have already been to court over a cell phone about 2.5 years ago and the GAL and the judge said that that was no reason for them to have it since BM has plenty of ways to contact the kids. Please Help! Thank you in advance!
The day you deliver, outside will be fair. Your baby will arrive in the early afternoon. After a labor lasting approximately 44 hours, your child, a boy, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 4 pounds, 1 ounces, and will be 22-1/2 inches long. This child will have light blue eyes and some brown hair.This discussion has been closed.
Re: Advice/Help please!
This would get on my nerves but I would let it go and they can have the stupid phone. If your SS isn't ready for the responsibility then he will run it out of minutes quickly and she won't want to keep it on.
The rules would be:
1. If she calls at "the time" and they don't answer then she should try your H's phone.
2. A lost/damaged/forgotten phone will not be your responsibility. If SS is ready for a phone he is ready to take care of it and make sure he has it. (BM got SD#3 a phone for her 10th b-day. DH said she wasn't ready. She lost it 3 months later and it hasn't been see since b/c she wasn't ready).
It is silly and she is being controlling but there is nothing done at my house to hinder contacting the other parent. If she wants to waste her money and SS wants to learn about taking care of things then so be it.
I agree w PP.
Although my skids might be responsible together, I don't think they need a cell phone and they're a year older than yours is.
If you have that many ways for BM to get ahold of the child, what's the point? If she has reason for wanting the child to have one-ie-she calls all the time and can never get through, then there might be a reason for wanting one, but it doesn't sound that way.
Seems you need to figure out an age where it would be appropriate and let BM know and that you won't discuss it until then. Again, your house, your rules.
GL!
This may not be a popular opinion, but this is how we do it. My daughter (age 6 1/2) has a cell phone. We initially got it so that she could carry it with her when she had visitation with my ex husband (not her father.) Her phone is gps equipped and we can track everywhere she goes. We log onto a website and can literally track how fast the car is that ex is driving, and mark when he takes her out of approved areas. For instance he is not allowed to take her out of the state, or outside of a parameter. Its proven to be a very good tool to use in court. We use it to call her when she is with him, he is not authorized to dial her direct using the phone. We also do not ask him to pay for it of course.
We have since expanding to allow her to use it anytime she is not with us (except school), like when she is at a friends, or dance class. It works out nice. I never thought it would end up being so convenient for anything other then her carrying with the ex, but it really has come in handy several times.
Sks have a cell phone at their BM's house but they got rid of their house phone.
My SD who is 10 keeps asking for a cell phone and stated that her mom is going to get her one soon. We have told her several times that it will be turned off at our house.
We even went so far to get her, her own phone for her room. We did get her a personal phone number but got rid of that because no one was calling her. So since she has her own phone connected to the house phone, she has been told her friends can call her on that.
She was bummed but we do not believe in giving the kids items that can allow them to lock themselves up in their room and separate themselves from the family but glued to a device (ie, they have their regular toys but do not have a playstation or tvs in their room unlike at their BM's house).
In addition, we have a rule that the kids will either call you or you can call before 8:30pm but not after 8:30pm. We are good at having the kids call between 8:30-9pm. BM has the kids call sometimes anywhere between 8:30 and 10pm.
This.
I would be worried about the whole "lost/damaged/stolen" thing. If anything happens to the phone while SS is with you, i'm guessing BM would want YOU to replace it. This is a mess I would just avoid.
I actually want to get my SD a phone. Just a small "kids" cell that can only hold a couple numbers and emergency numbers. That way she always has a way to get ahold of me when she is at a friends house etc etc.
It's funny. When I was a kid I just had to be home before dark. My friends an I would ride our bikes ALL DAY and at best would check in for lunch. There is no way in hell I would allow that now. Kinda sad.
I say that it is either on at both homes or not at all - unless she has a legitimate concern because she has had multiple times in the past that she cannot get in touch with him within a reasonable time period. Of course you would have to help pay for it then too. If she will not allow it then I say no, because I would refuse to be responsible for a phone that I did not think he was mature enough to take care of...if it breaks at your house then I think it is your responsibility to replace (and this has been the majority consensus on this board in the past). I would also be concerned that she is trying to track your every move (assuming again that she has no legitimate reason for concern).
I would also start to document (save phone bills, etc.) showing that you are available when she calls or you will wind up back in court with her saying that you do not allow her access to her child when you have visitation and that she is concerned for their welfare.
I agree.
I think this is understandable only in your case, where the ex is not even the real dad and he's done, according to you, questionable things in the past. In the normal blended family situation, like OP's, where both parents have parented the children in a respectable manner and they're both legal parents, this would be unacceptable. Who would want to be controlled by their ex like this? I wouldn't want the other person to know how fast I'm driving with MY kid, where I'm going, what I'm doing there...etc. To hell with that!
Hi, I don't post often and I am not even sure I have posted on the board beforfe but I will tell you what we did. Last year my SD kept asking Santa for a cell phone for Christmas (she was then 5
) We all said absoultely not, we would talk about it when she was 12 or so. Well at SD's birthday party this year she opens her gift from her mom and guess what? It was a CELL PHONE! The whole room went quiet! She is 6 years old. BM said it was for her to call us and for her to be able to get a hold of SD. It backfired on her, SD is not allowed to bring it to our house, her mom has 3 different numbers she can get a hold of her on. We also let SD call her mom whenever she wants and if we want to talk with SD when she is with her Mom we call her mom's phone. We refuse to acknowledge that she has a cell.
BM can not force you to allow the cell phone in your house. Just make it perfectly clear that she would be wasting her money.