Passed the sac.....

ZZsmommy

I went in to see my OB today.  We saw, on ultrasound, the sac near the cervix.  He scheduled a D&C so that I could be sure to be finished with everything by Thursday, my father's memorial service.  I asked for genetic testing to be done on the embryo, so we could find out why the baby was lost.  Well, tonight I passed what I am positive is the sac.  Since nothing is going as planned, I am considering placing the sac in a small box and placing it in the vault that will be buried with my father's creamated remains.  Part of me worries that my family will think I am insane, but part of me really doesn't care.  My mom is fine with me doing this.  I believe strongly that things do not happen by chance - there was a reason things happened the way they did.  My father was ill for a very long time.  His death was sudden and unexpected, but his life had had no quality for a very long time before he passed.  I believe he needed a reason to leave this earth.  He heard that my child had died in utero, and a few hours later, he was gone.  I see in my mind a small child that looks very much like my little boy taking his hand and leading him to a beautiful place.  I believe that the purpose of my baby was to show his Grandfather the way to peace.  So, considering we have to bury my father this week, I think I want to bury the remains of my child with him. 

I'm scheduled for a D&C tomorrow.  Is it still necessary?  Does the bleeding typically incrase after the gestational sac is passed?  I hate having to ask these questions....I hate that others have the answers (it means far too many babies have been lost).  Thank you so much for reading and being patient with me.  This is all very new, and very difficult.....

cherylanddoug

On burying the sac with your dad:  You may have to talk to the funeral director about this.  At my aunt's funeral they would not let my cousin place a rose in the casket due to some weird new regulations.  I think it would be better to know ahead of time instead of trying to do it the day of the funeral and then finding out you would not be permitted to do so. 

As far as the D&C goes, they can evaluate you to see if you passed everything, if you have a D&C will not be necessary.   Personally I would call the doctor beforehand and see if they would rather see you in the office and reschedule the D&C later if it is still necessary. 

 I am very sorry for the loss of your child and your father. 

Happyfeet10

I just want to say how sorry I am for your losses, I can't imagine what you are going through right now but that is such a peaceful thought about your child leading your dad to a better place.  My thoughts are with your family.

megstarwsu

I'm so sorry for your losses.  I hope you are able to place your baby in with your father.  I think that is a wonderful idea and who cares what other people think.  I also agree w/ PP that you should call your OB and talk to them about the tissue that you passed so that they can do an u/s before your d&c to make sure there's no tissue left.  I hope everything goes well for you.  You are in my thoughts.

LaStrega

I am so sorry for your losses.  When I passed my sac, I absolutley panicked.  My husband wasn't at home and he didn't want me to keep it for any reason.  I ended up flushing it down the toilet and a day doesn't go by when I wish I had made a different choice.  I don't think it's weird at all that you want the baby and your dad to rest in the same place.  ((hugs))

Karen1998

Your idea of burying your baby with your dad and your vision of your baby leading your dad into Heaven are beautiful.  If people don't like it, they can suck it. 

I'm so sorry for your losses.  I hope that the funeral will give you a sense of peace. I have no answers on your D&C question, but hope that the answer is the easiest possible one for you.  

ravenorchid

I like your idea of the burial. I think it's beautiful to envision your baby leading your father to heaven.

I'm so sorry again for your losses.