BFFN....going away for a while (long) — The Bump
Trouble TTC

BFFN....going away for a while (long)

Hey ladies. I got a BFFN yesterday and today. AF came mid-morning too. Super heavy! I broke down really hard on Sunday. I didn't even want to get out of bed. It was bad. 

This was our last cycle with any fertility treatments. We knew all along that IVF wasn't an option for us for a few reasons. I had decided I needed a break no matter what the outcome. I have been on some kind of drug or doing some kind of test/procedure/surgery since last November and I just can't do it anymore. After 4 IUIs, I have nothing to show but a credit card bill.

I have let TTC run my life for the past 18 months and it's time for me to change my focus for a little while. I feel like I have missed out on good times with my family and I have not been taking very good care of myself. I am going to seek counseling as well to help deal with my emotions related to IF.

I hope to come back with good news and as a healthier person. I wish you all nothing but the best. Thank you for all the support over the past few months when I had no where else to go.  You all 'got' me when so many didn't. 

Good luck ladies! 

DD born 8/24/07
TTC #2 since 4/09
Unexplained Secondary IF
*****************************
4 failed rounds of clomid ~ 4 failed IUIs ~ 1 m/c
2/3/11: IUI #5 - Femara/Follistim/Ovidrel/Crinone = BFP (2/14)!!!
Beta #1 (12dpiui): 53 Beta #2 (14dpiui): 203 Beta #3 (20dpiui): 3932 Beta #4 (28dpiui): 60,775
1st U/S (3/3): 2 sacs & yolks 2nd U/S (3/8) 2 heartbeats-TWINS!
Baby A:6w6d HR 131 Baby B:6w4d HR 124
image
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TWINS!! EDD 10/25/2011
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Re: BFFN....going away for a while (long)

  • ((hugs)) I'm so sorry. I hope you can find the balance in your life again.
    Trying to grow our family with both fertility treatments and adoption since March 2009 
    IUIs#1-4 = BFN, IVF#1 = c/p, IVF#2 = OHSS, FET#1=BFP
    BabyFruit Ticker
    image
  • So sorry sweetie.  It sounds like you def. deserve a much needed break.   We are here when you are ready to come back.  ((hugs))
    TTC since 07/2009
    Me: PCOS, Blood/Immune Issues DH: Low all 3
    Jun.- Sep. 2010 IUI#1-#3 = BFN
    Oct. 2010 = IVF #1 = B/G Twins (passed away Feb. 2011)
    May 2011 = Myomectomy and trans-abdominal cerclage (TAC)
    Sep. 2011 = Surprise BFP = C/P
    Feb. 2012 = sFET #1 = BFN
    Feb.2012 = Hail Mary IUI #4 = BFN
    April/May 2012 = FET #2 w/our last two embies = BFP (Please let this be it!)
    Beta #1 8dp5/6dt = 234 Beta #2 10dp5/6dt = 695 Beta #3 12dp5/6dt = 1796 Beta #4 17dp5/6dt = 17,888 U/S #1 May 17, 2012 = Twins
    Baby B's heart stop beating at 9 weeks 5 days
    Our little miracle baby is a boy. :)

    Baby Boy Owen and Baby Girl Avery were born too early on Feb. 13, 2011 due to a pedunculated fibroid, incompetent cervix and suspected placental abruption.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    "What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose." - Henry Ward Beecher
    SAIF/PAIF Welcome
    Lots of love and luck to my PAIF/3T/IF Veteran ladies, especially my dear friend Zookie. Congrats to Papps, Teach84 and Starbuck on their little ones.
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  • I'm so sorry hon!! I hope whatever you do it helps you out!! IF sucks!! 
  • Thanks ladies.
    DD born 8/24/07
    TTC #2 since 4/09
    Unexplained Secondary IF
    *****************************
    4 failed rounds of clomid ~ 4 failed IUIs ~ 1 m/c
    2/3/11: IUI #5 - Femara/Follistim/Ovidrel/Crinone = BFP (2/14)!!!
    Beta #1 (12dpiui): 53 Beta #2 (14dpiui): 203 Beta #3 (20dpiui): 3932 Beta #4 (28dpiui): 60,775
    1st U/S (3/3): 2 sacs & yolks 2nd U/S (3/8) 2 heartbeats-TWINS!
    Baby A:6w6d HR 131 Baby B:6w4d HR 124
    image
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    TWINS!! EDD 10/25/2011
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I'm so sorry to hear this.  You need to do what's best for yourself and your family.  Take care of yourself and ((Hugs)).




  • I'm so sorry, hon.  Take care of yourself.  ((hugs))

    image image


    ~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~ 

    Me= 37 and DH = 41 

    Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)

    IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN

    IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.

    IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132.  Lil is here!

    TTC#2:  Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.

    IVF #4:  BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #5:  MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #6:  (New RE):  Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN

    FET#1:  BFN

  • I am really sorry about your BFN and good luck with counseling.  ((hugs))
  • I am so sorry that things didn't work this cycle.  I hope this break lets you rest and find what you need right now.  ((hugs)) 
    [IMG]http://i55.tinypic.com/2d989rq.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i51.tinypic.com/pbz9d.gif[/IMG]



    [url=http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2906dc]My Chart[/url]

    Off BCP 05/09; TTC 07/09; 4 c/p's and 1 m/c

    DOR; MFI; hetero factor v leiden mutation

    1/10 - BFP - c/p 4w4d

    3/10 ~ BFP - 4/5/10 - u/s @ 7w6d - no hb; m/c 8w3d

    Tried many interventions:

    9/10 - unmedicated IUI (1.4 million post wash) = BFN

    10/10 - unmedicated IUI (4.5 million post wash) = BFP

    11/10 - c/p 4w4d

    12/10 injects+TI cycle (3 follies) = BFN

    2/11 - IVF #1 long lupron w/ ICSI; 1 embryo = BFN!

    7/11 - IVF #2 antagonist w/ICSI - 3dt of 3 grade A embies = BFP

    7/11 - c/p 4w5d

    10/11 - unmedicated IUI (2.5 mill post wash) = BFN

    11/11 - unmedicated IUI (12 million post wash) = BFP

    12/11 - c/p 4w2d

    12/11 - IUI #5 follistim (2.5 million post wash) = BFN

    1/15/11 - IUI #6 follistim (12 million post - woot!)= BFP!!! Praise the Lord!!!

    Beta #1 (12dpiui) 164; Beta #2 (14dpiui) 514!!!

    It's TWINS!!!!

    Two BOYS!!!!


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  • Wishing you all the best!

    IVF #1: 4-11-11= Transferred 1 beautiful blastocyst I named "Nugget"
    5 Snowbabies! Beta#1 4/21= BFP! 226; Beta#2 4/25= 944
    DS born 12/14/11

    Baby #2 FET Nov/Dec 2013

    12/13 Beta#1=BFP 349; 12/16 Beta#2=1,089. First ultrasound 12/26. DS#2 born 8/8/14
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersimageLilypie First Birthday tickers
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome~~

  • I am so sorry about the BFN. I hope your break is restful and peaceful. I wish you nothing but the best.
    After years of IF and TTC, we're thrilled to be building our family through DA!
    [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/hwlp8h.jpg[/IMG]
  • I'm so sorry hun. I wish you the best! ((Hugs))
    TTC since March 2010
    Dx:PCOS
    6/11 Clomid cycle cancelled due to cyst...TI=???
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome
    December 3T Siggy Challenge:[IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/v46yk4.jpg[/IMG]

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  • I'm so sorry.  I hope you can find some peace and return with renewed strength.  We're always here for you, you know I always am. 
    Tyler James arrived 6/25/07 @ 8:42pm 9lbs ~ 21"
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    TTC #2 since 08/09 c/p 12/09 c/p 04/10
    b/w normal, HSG normal, DX LPD, RPL, MTHFR mutation
    cycle #13 - trigger, booster, prog = BFN cycle #14 - trigger, booster, prog = BFP! Betas #1= 783, Betas #2 = 1959!
    12/10 - IT'S A GIRL!!!
    [URL=http://alterna-tickers.com][IMG]http://alterna-tickers.com/tickers/generated_tickers/m/m2hftilpn.png[/IMG][/URL]
    Congrats to my BFPB Sefaniee...baby boy arrived 10/10. WI_mommy is KTFU! Whoot! Love to fellow bumpie turned IRL friend Scherpha...baby girl is here 03/11! Shout out to my hometown girl magnolia_femme who's KTFU!! Always rooting for my 3T ladies!!

    [IMG]http://i56.tinypic.com/sosf7n.jpg[/IMG] [img]http://i54.tinypic.com/zsk41e.jpg[/img]<A href="http://theaustinfamilylife.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><IMG src="http://tinyurl.com/6287ltj" WIDTH="140" HEIGHT="160" BORDER=0></A>
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  • Best of luck to you, take care of yourself
    after 2+ years, 3 failed IUIs, 2 failed IVFs with a c/p
    IVF#3 brought us our miracle baby girl on June 26, 2012

    image

    imageimageimage





  • I'm so sorry about the BFN.  I hope that the break helps you get centered, and I wish you the best!!   ((hugs))
    IVF #3 brought us our miracle twins born 11/22/11!,

    Ou mes doigts pris sur tes poignets

    Je t'aime, je t'aimais et je t'aimerai

    p/saif always welcome

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  • The care and support from this board is like no other. Thanks again ladies. It means so much to me.
    DD born 8/24/07
    TTC #2 since 4/09
    Unexplained Secondary IF
    *****************************
    4 failed rounds of clomid ~ 4 failed IUIs ~ 1 m/c
    2/3/11: IUI #5 - Femara/Follistim/Ovidrel/Crinone = BFP (2/14)!!!
    Beta #1 (12dpiui): 53 Beta #2 (14dpiui): 203 Beta #3 (20dpiui): 3932 Beta #4 (28dpiui): 60,775
    1st U/S (3/3): 2 sacs & yolks 2nd U/S (3/8) 2 heartbeats-TWINS!
    Baby A:6w6d HR 131 Baby B:6w4d HR 124
    image
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    TWINS!! EDD 10/25/2011
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • *hug* i wish you the best. take care of yourself and we are all here whenever you need us :)
    TTC #1 with PCOS since 1/10

    6/10-10/10 Clomid 100&150mg~ cancelled,no response,Provera

    11/10 Gonal F+Lupron trigger- OHSS,coast,trigger,no O,Provera

    Lap 12/28/10- Polyps and Endo removed

    April 11 IVF #1~ <3twins<3= m/c 5w3d D&C 5/20

    June 11 IVF #2~ m/c 6w1d D&C 9/1

    2 copies of MTHFR found: C677T & A1298C

    Jan 12- 2000mgs Metformin

    May 12 IVF #3- Lupron 5/29,Stims 6/8,ER 6/17-25R, 20M, 16F w/ICSI,3 snowbabies, ET 6/22 of one 5AA blast, Beta #1- 62, Beta #2- 98.6, Beta #3- 196. Please let this be our sticky take home baby

    **Praying 3rd time's the charm!!**



    ~*All Are Welcome*~

    .:Impatience is not a fertility issue:.


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  • I am so sorry.  I hope the counceling helps and that you can find a positive focus for your life again.  Best of luck in wherever life brings you!!
    [IMG]http://i55.tinypic.com/20fot1h.jpg[/IMG]
  • I'm so sorry.  It is very brave of you to make such a hard decision.  I hope you find balance and peace of mind going forward.
    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    ~*~My BFP Chart~*~Our Story~*~
    ~*~Labor Buddies with Sweet Turnip - Welcome Baby Girl 2/23/12 & Aluenna - Welcome Ivy 1/6/12~*~
  • JMayJMay member
    I am so, so sorry to hear this news.  I was really pulling for you.  Know that you are in the thoughts of many.  Best wishes to you.
    Dori image
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

    Miracle DD born 12.2005
    TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
    ***P/SAIF Always Welcome***

    Keep it Natural, Baby!
  • ((hugs)) so sorry.  GL with your journey of becoming a healthier person.  I know after this last try I'm done as well and ready to move on with life.
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