My first crappy IF day — The Bump
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My first crappy IF day

My sister is pregnant with #2. My nephew will be 5 months old next week. Huh? While I love being an aunt and I'm happy for her- this alone stings just a wee bit.

But the worst part is that my whole family has known and has been keeping it a secret from me so I wouldn't be upset. I hate it that they don't want to share things with me because of this. It makes me even more upset about what DH and I are going through then if they would just tell me.

I know people all around me are going to get KU. I just wish they wouldn't walk on eggshells like I'm a freak or something.

Please tell me it gets easier to deal with?!?! Tongue Tied

edited: spelling

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Re: My first crappy IF day

  • My SIL is having fertility problems with #2. She is now onto IUI and I often wonder if she gets pregnant before me how they will handle telling me. I rather just know, let me have a small pity party if needed, and move on.

    There are some cases where I would wish MORE people would walk on eggshells.. ex the pregnant after "2 abortions" people at the office

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  • image**Papps**:

    I'm sorry you're having a bad day :( Those days suck. I think it gets easier.  I still have a hard time seeing pg people, but when my fam & friends get KU, I may be a teensy bit jealous, but able to be really happy for them. My pain shouldn't be theirs ya know?

    FWIW, I have had my sis/mom walk on eggshells a few times, and after we talked about it, they 100% had my feeling in mind, and didn't mean any harm. I hope things get easier for you :)

    Yep- I know they were trying really hard to be sensitive and really didn't mean for it to upset me at all. I am really happy for them- I love, love, love being an aunt and having another little nephew/niece will be great. I guess it's all just hard to deal with at first so I would have been upset either way. It's all just a bit overwhelming at first! Thanks, though!

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  • This is really rough and I'm so sorry you are going through this. For me its 50/50 because some days wish people would walk on eggshells a little. Especially if I am having a rough week. Other times I wish they would be real and truthful. Its really a no win situation. IF SUCKS! You should tell your family exactly how you want them to deal with it. Just be honest. They were defanitely thinking of your feelings. Again so sorry you are dealing with this :o(

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  • HelsHels member
    Sorry, hon.  I know they were trying to be sensitive about your feelings and meant well. I know it's still hard though. Sometimes I wish that people would understand that I can be happy for them and sad for myself all at the same time.


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  • Sorry hun! I know the feeling. My family does that to me constantly! Mainly my mother! Especially when someone is very sick or in the hospital and unfortunately passes, she doesn't tell me until after the fact. I know she means well and wants to protect me, but i would rather just know when everyone else knows. I always feel like im the last one to find things out! Hope it all works out and that you feel better. Everything gets better in time.
    TTC #1 with PCOS since 1/10

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  • image**Papps**:
    imageKathy4678:
    image**Papps**:

    I'm sorry you're having a bad day :( Those days suck. I think it gets easier.  I still have a hard time seeing pg people, but when my fam & friends get KU, I may be a teensy bit jealous, but able to be really happy for them. My pain shouldn't be theirs ya know?

    FWIW, I have had my sis/mom walk on eggshells a few times, and after we talked about it, they 100% had my feeling in mind, and didn't mean any harm. I hope things get easier for you :)

    Yep- I know they were trying really hard to be sensitive and really didn't mean for it to upset me at all. I am really happy for them- I love, love, love being an aunt and having another little nephew/niece will be great. I guess it's all just hard to deal with at first so I would have been upset either way. It's all just a bit overwhelming at first! Thanks, though!

    Prime example for me is that my sister and I started TTC the same month... let's just say she has a 1month old now. She was so nervous about telling me, but I'm glad she did. I love both of her children like they were my own, but it doesn't make it easy. Just not as painful as it used to be Smile 

    Kathy- I covered all this in PM to ya so I don't want t repeat myself.

    I needed to chime in though when I saw this- because that is my situation exactly (only just with a SIL that I am really close to). I had a hard time at first when she announced her BFP but I am right there with Papps now- just in love with the new baby. 


    TTGP since 09/09, BFP 10/6/10 Our little Bean was born on 06/16/2011! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPicBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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