what "chores"does your Dh do? — The Bump
Working Moms

what "chores"does your Dh do?

What house work does your Dh do?  Mine works a lot of hours and I work full time too but I take care of just about all house work and child resposibities during the week.  I don't know how to break the cycle, especially when Dh works so many hours.  I get that the person who is home longer/more is going to end up doing more but he lives here too.-Help!

My Jobs

pickup/drop off DD at daycare

make dinner

dishes

laundry

bath and story time

all cleaning

Dh's Jobs

cuts the grass once a week

takes out the garbage

drops off DD at daycare some mornings

image
Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Re: what "chores"does your Dh do?

  • Well, I know my DH is not the ordinary. At least not ordinary among other husbands I know. I'm lucky. But DH does work a regular job, go to school, and work an on call 24/7 volunteer emergency medical job. But when he is home, he is a wonderful helper.

     I do most of the "children" work, but that's just because I'm home when it gets done and when we're both home I jump up first out of habit/instinct/whatever. But DH does actually change diapers and do a lot with DS, and of course, he plays the primary role with SD when he is home.  I feed them and give baths and put DS to bed, and we both get them where they need to go. He puts SD to bed if he is home.

    As far as housework goes, I always take care of vacuuming, sweeping, and mopping. I clean the bathroom. And I do most of the dishes. DH takes out the trash, does the laundry (unless he hasn't been home to do it) and puts the clothes away, he does the dishes sometimes. To tell the truth, I would rather do everything else in the house if he would just do the laundry. That is my least favorite chore ever! 

    All in all, I'm pretty happy with how much we both help each other. I asked him once why he actually works around the house at all, unlike anyone I've been with before, and he said his exW didn't do squat and he would have to come home at midnight after work and clean the house after the parties she'd have while he was at work. He said he's used to doing all the work by himself, and he's just happy that I help out around the house, too.

  • We each do whatever needs to be done when it needs to be done. We both do dishes, laundry, house cleaning, etc. and pretty equally. If I see he's doing more cleaning I'll pick up the slack somewhere else and do more that's needed with the kids. We're both just proactive. If he sees I'm exhausted one night he'll help more with something and vice versa. We don't have a specific schedule or specific jobs and that works better for us. I realize this isn't the same for everybody.
  • Me - Baby laundry, all cooking and packaging up of leftovers, grocery shopping, bills and filing, planning, watering plants, vacuuming

     DH - Dog, yardwork, dishes, folds laundry, and 1/2 of all the baby stuff. 

    We work the same hours though so it just kind of works out for us.  I also tell him to do things like spray for bugs, take recycling, etc.  Can you afford a housekeeper?  For me, that keeps the chore resentment at bay.  I do "manage" the house but he is good about doing what I ask and doesn't complain.  He prefers a list to work from.  Also - we pick up everything before we go to bed.  No excuses. 

     
  • My DH helps with the dishes and does a lot with the kids.  Cleaning is better left to me.  He tries to help with laundry and I beg him not to. 
  • DH does the pick-up from daycare (I do drop-off).  We then share a lot of stuff.  While I do the majority of the cooking, he does some too -- at least 2 out of 7 nights.  We trade off depending on who puts who down for bed.  If DS, that person is in charge of cleaning up the kitchen after dinner and loading the dishwasher.  If DD, that person is in charge of emptying the dishwasher before heading upstairs to put DD to bed.  We both try to work on laundry.  We have a maid service every 2 wks but DH does more tidying than I do, I will admit.  I tend to do more errands in terms of picking up groceries and needed items like diapers.  We also have a neighborhood kid cut the grass as needed, but I tend to take care of all the other lawn stuff like weeding.  We alternate taking out the garbage depending on who spots it.  We also alternate baths depending on who is doing what.  I will say he does a lot but in large part due to the fact that when he is in town, he works out of our home so taking 5 minutes to throw a load in the laundry isn't a big deal.  


    image
    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

  • DH does the laundry, mows the lawn or blows the snow in the winter, helps with grocery shopping (we kind of take turns), drops DS off in the morning and helps with baths or does them some nights.  Right now he's painting his new man cave in the basement too! 
  • We literally made up a list of all the chores we do in the house and sat down and divided them up.  He may not realize everything that you do, which is why I think it's helpful to have a full list.

    I grocery shop and cook, he cleans up.  I clean our bathroom, he cleans the other two that we use frequently.  We got a roomba to vacuum.  We both try to tidy up when it needs it.  I wash sheets, he washes towels, we both wash our own clothes and throw in a load of DS's when we need.  He does all outside yard work, but I do all the mopping inside (not very often).

    I think the reality is with two people working and small kids, there's a lot to do no matter how you slice it.  We probably are more slack in our cleaning than some, but I'd rather the house be a little messy than be tired or stressed from worrying about it.  If you can afford a cleaner, it might be money well spent!

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • image DanielleWrly:
    We each do whatever needs to be done when it needs to be done. We both do dishes, laundry, house cleaning, etc. and pretty equally. If I see he's doing more cleaning I'll pick up the slack somewhere else and do more that's needed with the kids. We're both just proactive. If he sees I'm exhausted one night he'll help more with something and vice versa. We don't have a specific schedule or specific jobs and that works better for us. I realize this isn't the same for everybody.

    Ditto.  However, he is pretty much the only one who takes out the garbage (meaning takes the cans to the curbs) and mows the lawn.  Oh, and I tend to do most of the meal planning, too but he definitely helps out. 

  • Nothing.  I am happily divorced because he did nothing while we were married too!
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • image DanielleWrly:
    We each do whatever needs to be done when it needs to be done. We both do dishes, laundry, house cleaning, etc. and pretty equally. If I see he's doing more cleaning I'll pick up the slack somewhere else and do more that's needed with the kids. We're both just proactive. If he sees I'm exhausted one night he'll help more with something and vice versa. We don't have a specific schedule or specific jobs and that works better for us. I realize this isn't the same for everybody.

     This exactly.

  • We just get it done.  The only divisions are that I do most of the cooking, Dh does the bills. Other than that, we work as a team.
    image
  • He will tackle the outdoor projects while I do the indoor ones, but he will help out with whatever needs to be done. There really are no "assigned" chores in our house. Thankfully, we have a housekeeper and it helps to have someone to handle the deep cleaning because I don't think either of us are that great at it!
  • DH: grocery shopping, cooking, trash, lawn care

    Me: all cleaning

    We share: home improvements, laundry, dishes 

  • image Trissie18:

    image DanielleWrly:
    We each do whatever needs to be done when it needs to be done. We both do dishes, laundry, house cleaning, etc. and pretty equally. If I see he's doing more cleaning I'll pick up the slack somewhere else and do more that's needed with the kids. We're both just proactive. If he sees I'm exhausted one night he'll help more with something and vice versa. We don't have a specific schedule or specific jobs and that works better for us. I realize this isn't the same for everybody.

     This exactly.

    This is us, too. The only exception is that I don't do outside chores (mowing, snow, etc). We have a cleaning person coming in every other week, and since LO was born this summer, we hired someone to do our yard so DH can help me out more in the house w/ LO.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicMy food blog: Blissfully Delicious BabyFruit Ticker
  • He usually takes out the trash and does the dishes, but I will do those if he has a busy week.

    I usually do meal planning, grocery shopping, and pay the bills, but he helps out if I need him to. I cook 60-75% of the time.

    We have a schedule for general house cleaning, and we both just do what needs to be done with no formal division. Right now he's working 30 hours/week and I'm working 40, so he sometimes gets all the cleaning done before I get home from work.

    imageimageimage
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Great thread!

    We also both work FT 40-50 hour weeks + 2 hours a day each commuting.

    DH's jobs:  take out the trash, cleaning the diaper genie bring out the stroller every morning (we live in a walk up), all "handy" type things (like this weekend he installed window guards and lowered the crib), and all responsibilities with the cat (food, litter, etc.), changing crib sheets, and folding laundry

    My jobs: pumping, feeding, making homemade baby food, cooking, loading/unloading dishwasher, washing/separating laundry, dropping the dry cleaning, all finances, getting LO ready in the morning b/c DH leaves earlier than I do, straightening up the house.

     We give LO a bath together every night, and both do diapers and night feedings. We have a weekly cleaning lady so we never do heavy cleaning.

    Wow....I was just complaining this morning that my DH does nothing and I do everything. Typing all of this up makes me realize that he does a lot!

     

     

  • DH probably does more 'chores" than I do.  With 3 kids someone has to watch the kids while the other cleans - unless we get my niece to come and watch the kids... usually DH will do cleaning on teh weekend and i'll watch the kids... and when they nap I'll jump in and help.

    DH does the dishes every day... he is the only one who vacuums.... he does the laundry - but I fold all of it and put it all away...

    he does all outdoor stuff except gardening- that's my job.  Garbage and recycling = all DH.

    my jobs are making sure the bills get paid and managing our money, making sure the kids have everything they need, our house has everything it needs, etc.... I also am the one who does all organizing of the kid's stuff, rooms, etc.

    but as far as actual cleaning- DH does far more of it than I do.

     

  • My chores include: cook dinner, vacuum & mop as needed, dust, laundry, bathe DS, put DS to bed, take dog to vet once/year.

    DH's chores include: cut grass, take out garbage, spray for ants, grills dinner some nights (tonight), cleans grill, sweeps deck, dishes, bathroom.

    If I am cleaning during DS's nap on the weekend - DH helps.  He doesn't just sit there.  I give him jobs to do - like dust, switch laundry, sprinkle carpet powder stuff, clean out microwave...and whatever else I need.

    He helps me LOTS!!!  I've had to train him though...when we first had DS I was still doing everything - that lasted a couple months before I was exhausted and pissed that while I was putting DS to bed he was just sitting there watching tv.  Then I'd still have to do all dishes - clean kitchen, etc. 

    So now while I'm giving DS his bath and getting him ready for bed DH cleans up from dinner.  Loads/unloads dishwasher, cleans off dinner table, highchair tray, etc.  Last night when DH was leaving the room after kissing DS goodnight I spouted off a list of things for him to do.  He did 90% of them.  There were still 2 pots in the sink that he didn't get to.  So I did them myself when I was done with DS. 

    We ride together to work so we both drop off/pick up DS everyday.  I feel like we're pretty 50/50 now.  Which is sooo much better than me trying to do everything myself.  We're not superwoman!!!  ASK FOR HELP!!!  Good luck!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Pregnancy Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • We have a cleaning person every two weeks, so that takes care of a lot.

    We agreed when we got married that he does all laundry and I do the grocery shopping/cooking and dishes. It works really well for us and I haven't done  laundry in many years!

    We try to split childcare duties and I do drop-off in the morning while he picks up.

    If we are both home at night, we alternate doing the baths and each put one girl to bed. We each take a night or so off during the week to do something for ourselves, so the other person watches the kids.

    DH does the lawncare/trash and I do all the bills/finances and general life organization/errands, etc.

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • We both do whatever needs doing until it is done, we don't have assigned chores.  He does a lot more than I do, though, since he's a SAHD.


    image
  • DH and I work the same number of hours each week (actually, I work slightly more because I have a second job that I do from home but it's only a few hours a week).  I am thankful that DH can cook because I hate it with a passion.  It still doesn't quite even things out but it goes a long way to me not blowing my top on a regular basis.

    Me:
    --DC pickup
    --All laundry
    --All cleaning unless I specifically ask for him to do something...anything...seriously, I think he voluntarily cleans something about twice a year
    --Bottles: cleaning, making, packing for DC (I also prep diaper bags, etc)
    --1/2 of dishes
    --1/2 of meal prep
    --Taking dog to vet (I'm including this because I've had to take him every two weeks for the past two months...why DH can't/won't take him is a mystery); I also handle administering all meds besides the ones that go in his food every meal.
    --Taking LO to pedi
    --Feeding LO (about 90% of the time...and he's bottle-fed)
    --3/4 of general child care
    --As of this Friday, pool maintenance (DH will help with some of this but I will be handling the day-to-day water sanitation as he's clueless and I grew up with a pool)

    DH:
    --DC dropoff
    --1/2 of dishes
    --1/2 of meal prep
    --outside care (lawn, plants, etc...however, I generally do the weedwacking, poop patrol, and bush trimming)
    --general maintenance on the house and most projects that require more than a hammer and a drill
    --3/4 of garbage takeout
    --1/4 of general child care

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • My husband and I both work 40+ hours/week. My commute is slightly shorter than his, so I leave a little later and come home a little earlier.

    We divide everything pretty much equally, though it might not be equal every day or every week. Whoever has some time does what needs to be done.

    I do tend to do most of the bills/recordkeeping and cooking, and he takes out the trash. We've discussed our shared responsibilities a lot, and when the baby gets here, we plan to split all of those as well (though I'll be BF, so obviously I'll have to take care of that.)

    I think we're going to hire a maid at least once a month to help keep up with the housework.


  • We don't have a list set in stone (that is another story) but we divide some chores at home. DH hates cooking and we mostly ate out before our DS. Now that our DS is here, I am doing more cooking. DH does garbage, bathes our son, does his laundry etc. does dishes at times, packs day care bags every other day, picks/drops off DS, grocery shops. I definitely take up more of the chores at home. It is working so far though at times I feel like smacking DH. But sometimes I have to pick my battles. Every now and then I have to give DH a pep talk and the next few days, things get done. Bottom line, DH does some chores but just not consistent enough.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards