Transitioning back to being a SAHM

Swoop1

I stayed home with my kiddos, (working 10 hours a week in the evenings) until #3 was about 8 months old and I started working full-time. I worked full time while my MIL watched the boys until March of this year, so 1 1/2 years. I loved my job, but hated working, if that makes sense? We didn't have babies for my MIL to raise, it was never our intention for me to work before they were school-age. Finances called for me to work for that period of time and now we've made sacrifices and cut corners so I can stay home. I love being home with my boys, but am going crazy. CRAZY. I don't know if it's the 118 degree AZ heat and the fact we're held hostage inside by it this summer because we don't have a pool, or that I'm pregnant, or that I have three CRAZY boys that lived by slightly different day time rules when Gma watched them. I can't get them to clean up, or listen to me. My house is constantly trashed now that I'm home all the time, which I thought would be the opposite. I have threatened, bribed, and put them in time out, taken away a bedroom door, taken away privileges, and cut out any "special" meals (pizza and such) and  favorite snacks, but they don't care. We have routines, but I still hear major whining and tantrums that I've never encountered before. I think Gma may have secretly done everything for them. HELP? I'm to the point that I want to take away everything they have in their rooms and make them earn it back is this to extreme? 

almostjennifer

4boys?ohmy:

I can't get them to clean up, or listen to me. My house is constantly trashed now that I'm home all the time, which I thought would be the opposite.  

This sounds like a typical day to me. 

Swoop1

I know it's crazy being home. I like crazy. 

But they really are out of control.....every toy is out at all times, I say no, I mean no and they do it anyway. The mouth back to me at every request. I tell them it's time to clean up for dinner and one hides under the bed the other two sit in one spot, pretending to clean. When I was working we had a routine, they came home played for an hour and put away their toys before dinner. Now....they act like I'm not even here. I told them I was going to throw the lincoln logs away if they didn't get cleaned up, and my middle guy told me to go ahead he doesn't like them anyways.

It bothers me that I never saw disrespectful behavior until now, is this how they treated Gma? 

HarrietNJMommy

That wouldn't fly in my house. Cleanup time is every afternoon in my house. The girls help while DS naps.

You say you have threatened, bribed, etc. For how long? A day? Two days?

I would start taking things away and have them earn them back. It may take a few weeks or even a month, but they WILL get the picture, or they will have nothing to play with. Consistency and follow-thru is key.

I would also do a sticker reward chart. Don't reward them every time they do a good deed. In the beginning, give a reward every day to the kid who has the most stickers - and by reward, I don't mean a treat - it could be that they pick the story, they get to stay up 15 minutes later, etc. (you get the picture). Eventually, your other 2 are going to step up the behavior.

Read the books "123 Magic" and "Playful Parenting" - those should help you a lot.

Hang in there! It's tough!!!

NewMrs07

OMG, I would go nuts. Sorry, I'm no help. I go crazy with just one little boy and he's really not too bad. I don't know how you do it but my hat's off to you woman!