Natural Birth
Klikina
member
Let's Play: "Stupid Things People Say about Childbirth"!
Klikina
member
When I get up in the morning the only thing remotely interesting on tv are those birth shows. So what I've heard my tv say recently:
(On "I didn't know I was pregnant"): "She managed to give birth at home without an epidural."
(On one of the birth shows on Discovery Health, while the lady is pushing, her friend says): "Stop making noise! Stop making all that noise! You're going to make the baby all tense!" (really???)
So, what have you heard? This doesn't have to just be natural birth specific...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Let's Play: "Stupid Things People Say about Childbirth"!
(spoken by my grandmother): "They will cut you to make it bigger right? They won't let the baby just mess everything up and rip you right?
Before I type the next one, let me explain that she knows I am using a midwife, and having an out-of-hospital birth.
(spoken by grandmother): "You can have all the drugs you want right? They can give you an epidural?"
(spoken by coworker, aged 25): "You can have a baby without an epidural?"
When asked if they would consider a MW for prenatal care - "I am more comfortable going to a doctor for all of those female-related diseases like pregnancy."
"I was induced one and a half weeks early with my third child because
...he was due the second week in January and I wanted the insurance to
recognize his birth in the same year and of course for tax purposes,"
https://www.pregnancytoday.com/articles/labor-delivery/should-labor-be-induced-4289/
you were WHAT a week and a half EARLY?!
by a client: "Oh, you know what I say? Skip the epidural and go straight for the c-section. I've had 3 kids and felt 0 contractions."
by my mom (not childbirth related): "Well I was talking to [my half brother] today about all the decisions you have to make and we started talking about how you decided not to have the circumcision done. He said he was really glad I had decided to have his done because he thinks it's easier to clean. So now I don't know." First off, he thinks it's easier to clean than what??? He's never had to clean a penis with foreskin! Secondly, what doesn't my mom know in this situation??? If it's a good decision for my son or not? Keywords: MY SON, aka MY decision.
Everyone who's ever found out we were going natural: "Oh you think you want it natural now, but just wait..."
ugh. ya i hate when my friends ask me if i'm having an epidural (i'm giving birth in a womens hospital) then they're like WHAT?!??!
ugh why'd ya ask if you aren't going to be supportive?!
Gulp. LMFAO
Upon hearing Im planning a homebirth, I recieved this comment "Oh cool! So they bring your epidural to your house?"
Ive also heard from a girl today who posted on fb that shes having her babay friday "Oh the u/s showed hes over 9 lbs! An Im too tiny to push his fat @ss out!" Said to me who wears a size 0. Yeah...
Ill edit to add more later on! This is a fun post... Hehe!
Oh, that reminds me! On "I didnt know I was pregnant" they always do true or false questions about pregnancy. One was "True or False: Most women experience their water breaking as their first sign of labor."
The tv announcer says...wait for it..."False. Most women's water is still in tact when they go into labor. Their doctor will break their water for them."
On that show "I didn't know I was pregnant" the woman "amazingly" gave birth at home and the 911 operator told her husband he had to hurry up and cut the cord so the baby could breathe! DH & I were laughing so hard, I started crying, it was so funny, I still laugh whenever I think about it. FWIW- DS was born at home and we waited @ 45-1 hour to cut the cord.
I was watching that one! You should have heard me screaming at the TV!
These are great!!
I'd like to add another one but I have to do a birth story first- with my DD I had an almost complete placenta abruption late in my pregnancy so we rushed to the hospital (not in labor at the time, was planning on a homebirth). When we got there I was bleeding out and DD heartrate was @ 60 so they had to do an emergency c-section. Their intention was to put me out in the operating room since there was no time for an epi. So we go into the operating room and they can't find a heart rate and I'm not doing well so the Doctor (who just felt awful) says sorry I can't wait for the anesthologist I have to do it right now (so yes, I had a c-section without ANY type of pain meds). "Funny" comments:
-DH tells his co-worker this whose wife had 2 elective c-sections and his co-worker goes wasnt a c-section so much easier- my wife loved them (I guess he didn't grasp that it was without paid meds)!!
-His other co-worker was like yeah that would hurt but I think I know how it felt, I gave birth before! (I had medfree HB prior and there was NO comparision!)
-Someone said to us: well after that you won't ever give birth at home again will you? HB is safe, I wasn't in labor it was a serious complication in pregnancy that can happen to anyone, no matter where they deliever!!
Ditto.
These are fun to read! Great post.
When a family member recently learned that we're planning a HB with Baby2 and that DD was born med-free, she said "So I guess you've always been kind of hippy, huh?"
Female Doctor says to mom when she walks into the room to find mom pushing on all fours "oh no, honey, you don't want to do it that way! You'll blow your butt out on all fours".
Male Doctor says to mom when she walks in transitioning into the pushing stage "good thing you made it here in time, otherwise baby might have been born without any of our interference" (winking at us all - he is very naturally minded and wanted the shock factor for the nurse who, until this time, had been berating us for waiting 'too long').
Mother of the laboring woman had been telling us all about how they did things 'the right way' in the 'good ol days'. Mom had been feeling pushy and giving small pushes while doc was paged. Mother of laboring woman was not listening to an iota of what I was saying and, when doc walked in, asks doctor, "will you please give her an enema? She keeps saying she has to poo and can't." Doctor raises one eyebrow and lifts moms binsi to show baby nearly crowning, looks back at dear mother of mom and says 'did you want me to push something into her or let her push something out of her?" (same doc as above).
Male doc to dad after he passed out watching his wife get an episiotomy, "you think that's bad? you shoulda seen the mom that I cut through to her anus!" (dad passed out again).
Mom to baby nurse "We have opted out of the erythromycin and are delaying vaccinations". Baby nurse "yeah, I see here that you are in a monogamous relationship, but are you sure your husband is? I mean, do you trust your husband enough to risk your babies life?"
Mom to ob right after birth "Gimme my baby!" (to me) "Can you help me get him latched on? I want to nurse him". Doc attempts to intervene "oh you don't want to do that, remember how much you bled last time? It's because you nursed your last baby to force the placenta out instead of letting us gently pull it out, controlling the bleeding." (note: last time her babe was taken from her for 30 minutes before she had a chance to even touch him - no immediate nursing - and her doc literally yanked her placenta out last time - causing postpartum hemm).
After mom hands doc her birth plan at her second visit, FP says, "so, I should just note your file 'patient wishes for cesarean'. Cuz, you know, the more you tell us what you want, the more we get what we want." Mom walked out of that appointment, fired that OB, and had a great hospital birth with a CNM.
Second-time mom relaying her prior birth while preparing for her VBAC at a birth story carnival. "I was induced for low AF, then got my EPI for the pain. After that, my babies FHTs went wonky and they said we had a classic case of FTP because of CPD. The doc said, while wheeling me down the hall that baby was likely 11 lbs or more. When they took him out, he weighed in at 6 lbs even. They lied to me. I'm sick of acronyms, I want my VBAC."
After mom had labored all day at home, she showed up around 7cm (she was doing her own vag exams). Mom doesn't want to take the wheelchair up to L&D because of her 'butt pain'. Receptionist says, "hello, you are in LABOR, you can't WALK!"
When dad calls the on-call doctor to let them know his partner has been in labor for about 8 hours and might be heading there sometime that day, doc tells him to come in RIGHT AWAY to start pitocin on mom, 'you can do things Mother Nature's way, slow and tiring, or you can do things our way, fast and exciting!"
During a surprise breech birth, resident says to doctor, 'ummm, ok, I am feeling a huge hole in this baby's head' (mom overhears and starts to panic). Doc to resident 'let's hope not... it is either baby's pooper or this is going to be one ugly kid'.
Pregnant woman's sister (who is the mother of two) to pregnant woman, "you won't want a dooola, you will want dooorugs!
Expectant dad's friend to expectant dad "oh, childbirth ruins your sex life! Imagine someone shoving a watermelon out of your wife's love-shaft and then trying to compete with that afterward!"
MIL to expectant woman whose husband is deployed, "I don't think you should have a homebirth. I mean, your neighbors will probably think you are some horribly adulterous woman having affairs on my son while he is away."
Mother of expectant woman, "you shouldn't have a homebirth. I mean, it's just selfish. That means all your friends and family have to come over and take care of you, clean your house, and cook your meals. If you were at the hospital, the staff does it for you. Homebirth is very selfish, in my opinion."
Wait? Am I missing something here? Maybe this is a true fact, but it doesn't have to mean it's bad. My water had to be broken with both of my natural labors. Trust me, after stalling at 8 cms for over 6 hours, I was tired of waiting for it to happen on its own. But am I missing what's upsetting about this?
Most womens' water will break on its own if a doctor does not intervene, so it's not necessarily true, like the show was implying. Many times when a doctor breaks a woman's water, it's done way too early, like at 3 or 4 cms, and then the woman has to have the baby in a certain number of hours for "risk of infection", or she gets a c-section. (The birth stories board is full of stories where this happens.) Plus it can cause the contractions to be more painful. In general, it's not usually a good idea, because it's often done unnecessarily. I think I was upset about the way the show implied that 1) your water isn't capable of breaking on its own, and 2) it's a normal, natural, regular thing for a doctor to break the water, when in reality it can make the difference between a vaginal birth and an "emergency" c-section.
The most common one I've heard "Are you crazy?" No, I'm just giving birth the way women were meant to give birth!
And the one I hate the most "You say that now but just wait until you feel those contractions!" Who are you to imply I can't do something!
My mom who has had three natural births told me everyone can do it, you just have to want to do it. Childbirth isn't a matter of can or can't. I'm glad my mother supports my decision!
Oh, Ok. I knew all that. I guess I just didn't get the tone in which the show said it. Thanks for clarifying!
My sister in law on her last two pregnancies: "Yeah I was having contractions 20 mins apart for an hour or so, so I went and saw the doc to have them stopped that way I don't go into labor. I have my induction scheduled for next week." (all three of her kids where non-medical inductions around 38 weeks)
Same sister in law on my pregnancy: "She hasn't had the baby??? But you said that that baby dropped a week or so ago. That means she should have had the baby a few days later."
I'm all for breaking the bag of waters if labor has stalled. Heck, I had mine broken at 6cm because of a bulging bag, my cervix wasn't catching up to the contractions, and I was feeling pushy. After my MW broke my water she let me push twice and I went from 6cm to complete! But your water doesn't have to be manually broken, and it just puts a time limit on things. Some poor girl who watched that is going to show up at the hospital 3cm dilated and think nothing of the Dr. wanting to break her water to speed labor along, then when she doesn't have the baby within 24 hours will end up with a C-section because A Baby Story said so (at least that's what was going through my head as I was screaming at the TV)!
Wow. My husband heard me on the other side of the house I was laughing so hard!
Here are some great lines:
www.myobsaidwhat.com
the right hand side of the page has a bunch of topics. One of my favorites is
??When A Patient?Comes Into The Hospital With A Birth Plan, I just Prepare The Operating Room??
This morning on Bringing Home Baby:
"Since this is my second child, now I know what to expect. My husband and I have a birthing plan and pretty much its littered with the word 'epidural' because I want it over as quickly and painless as possible"
STABSTABSTAB
AWESOME and CONGRATS! I have attended around 65 births as a doula, many more as a lay doula and some on top of that as an apprentice midwife.
"I'm just afraid its going to hurt." Really, childbirth might hurt, eh?
I had a friend tell me yesterday that once your water breaks they have to give you pitocin so you'll go into labor and then you can get your epi. Hmm, no honey they don't. Her child was vacuumed out btw.
Was talking to my cousin this morning who is due in October with her first. I've been on her to take the childbirth class at the hospital since she has done absolutely no research and has absolutely no experience with childbirth other than hearing her mom's stories which were of two VERY easy births.
First she told me that no one in her area took the class and all she needed to know was, "Give me the drugs and push, push, push!" Grr #1.
I talked to her today and asked if she ever signed up for the class. She said she talked with both her midwife and her OB and they both said, "Don't worry about it. It's really not important. As long as you listen to what we tell you and do what we say, you'll be fine." Grr #2! ::beats head on desk::
After telling new work friend that I had my 10lb 6.8oz baby vaginally, she said, "And you had sex after that?"
She's hilarious...she apparently had some emergency during her labor, had emergency c-section and her baby was immediately life-lighted out of the state to the nearest NICU...says they haven't had that big of an emergency in that hospital for 20 years. I still don't know the details, though. (Her DD was in the NICU for a few days...but less than a week, I think).
Morgan's Birth Story: http://www.fullcirclemidwifery.com/2009/06/morgans-birth/
Chloe's Birth Story: http://www.fullcirclemidwifery.com/2012/04/chloes-birth/
Wow, sage, you totally win. I enjoyed reading this post discussion so much - the painful kind of "enjoy" like watching a road accident. like my mother always says, we laugh to keep from crying...
thanks for posting this one!
Wow, that's awesome. Glad she's done her research.
The OB that works out of my MWs office has the lowest c-section rates in my area and he truly is there exclusively for high risk & emergency situations for the practice. The MWs take care of all the other patients. He's actually disappointed in his rates, but being in his position, what can you do?
you made me giggle.
I needed that.
While pregnant I got a lot of "oh you just wait and see" now nearly 5 months later they haven't said a peep!
On a positive note: I love hearing my husband gush about me and how proud he is of me and how strong I was! He comments a lot on how he "watched the patriot" b/c I didn't need him when we finally got to the hospital!
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Aha, dontcha just kinda love that feeling??