I was pretty phsyched about hypnobirthing.
But after hearing a few birth stories about the ring of fire feeling like being burnt with a hot frying pan...
I am in need of some encouragement. I know I can breath through the contractions, even if they aren't pain-free, I have felt some and know I can handle it. Its the *birthing* part that is making me nervous, and the possibility of needing an episiotomy (luckily my hospital is pretty anti-cutting) and having to feel it. I guess that "frying pan" description really got to me... it seriously gave me the chills.
Encouragement would be greatly appreciated! TIA!
Re: worried about crowning... do not read if staying away from "pain" stories
You know, I think it's different for everyone. Some people feel it and some people don't. I wouldn't worry too much because you just don't know which way you'll be, but either way it's only temporary and you'll be so close to the end you'll be ok.
Here was my natural birth experience--I had a long pushing stage (3+ hours), it turned out DD was mostly sunny-side up (posterior) so it too a lot of work to push her out. Toward the end the midwife said that she may want to do an episiotomy (I think DD's heart rate had been dropping some and the midwife wanted DD to come out soon). This was in a practice where my midwife (different than the one who attended my delivery) told me that none of the midwives there did episiotomies anymore so I didn't even need to put anything about it on my birth plan. I said "I'd really rather not--is there anything else we can do?" I think they had me change positions or something. Episiotomy averted.
Once DD was finally coming out, I remember thinking "oh, that must be what they mean by the 'ring of fire.' I get it." And I thought of the story my doula had told me of the woman who started singing Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" when she delivered. But it was not that bad. It was not an intense burning sensation, more like a very faintly mild one that I was like "oh, I could see it being called that I guess" and then it was done.
I had a 2nd degree tear but neither felt it nor cared. You are so numb down there from the pressure of the head that you really don't feel much--I don't think you'd feel an episiotomy either for the same reason.
So that's my experience--I hope it helps. I wouldn't let the "ring of fire" scare you too much.
By the time you hit the "ring of fire" it's too late to go back anyway. Breathe, and take your time when you hit that point....it may feel like you want it done with, but then you are pushing the limits of your natural stretch and make tearing more likely.
It's such a short moment in the birth experience, try to not worry about it too much.
Just remember, however painful it may be for those brief moments, if it was soooooooo incredibly bad we'd never see women with more than one kid.
In the moment, you'll know the ring of fire means the end is near and you'll be welcoming it! (well maybe not, but stay positive!)
Wedding 6.18.04 Cole 11.20.06 Gavin 3.31.08 Parker 07.15.10 Logan 04.03.12
Try not to worry about it - it's different for everyone & for me it was painful but I wouldn't describe it like being burnt w/ a frying pan - that is scary sounding!
With DS, once I got to that point I knew there was no going back, there was no time or opportunity for meds, and the only way it was going to get better was to push him out - it was good motivation & the minute he was born it was all gone and so 100% worth every second of discomfort.
Also - if you tear you won't feel it (just ask to tear naturally over getting an episiotomy). I tore in two places w/ DS and didn't even know it - there is so much pressure down there that you don't know what's happening.
Don't worry - you'll do great! Next time someone tries to tell you a scary birth story just tell them you'd rather not talk about it!
Siggy check.
Ditto flowerchild on episiotomy vs. tearing. Tearing is better.
My ring of fire only lasted a very brief time, and honestly, after contractions paired with everything else going on at that moment (pressure, etc) it's not as bad as you imagine it ahead of time.
this.
I've had three natural births and the ring of fire is not anything to stress about. It means you are almost done with all the hard work!
Oh, it goes so fast, though, and you forget it almost instantly because within seconds, you're going to hear your baby cry for the first time. :-)
The Ina May Gaskin tip above helped me a lot. And actually, if you are constipated from pregnancy, you can practice relaxing those muscles - to me it was a similar feeling. Try breathing/singing in really low tones and focusing on "opening" more than on "pushing".
oh for crying out loud who on earth told a pregnant lady that!
No, it did not feet like being seared with a hot frying pan, good grief.
Honestly, I labored in water which loosened everything up so while I did "feel" crowning, it felt more like pressure/stretching and not so much pain.
If you can keep that area wet (ie shower/birth pool or compresses) everything will stretch much more easily.
First, if you haven't already you should talk to your care provider about this. With my daughter I went natural until 8 cm then got the epidural, so the pushing was the only part I didn't feel. As a result, I was sort of obsessively worried about the same thing as you. I talked to my MW about it, and let her know of my fear, and just doing that helped me release some of the fear and helped her prepare to guide me in those moments.
FWIW, my son was born in water with his hand by his face after a fast labor, and I didn't really feel the ring of fire at all. It burned for a second or two and it was no big deal at all.
I felt pain but my issue was I thought I was going to tear from one end to the other. Not so much because of the pain but the pulling sensation.
Like pp said, discuss it with your midwife because I'd told my midwife and at that point she said to me, "you have to push through it" because I'd push so much and then pull back because I was scared of tearing.
Yes it's sore, but it's such a short part of the process that it's really not an issue, to my mind.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Thank you!!
I feel better about it now
As far as episiotomy vs. tearing... my hospital is not keen on cutting, thank the lord!! It is staffed with many nurse-midwives and few OB's, so barring any unforseen circumstances, I will be having a midwife attended birth, and they are all pretty comfortable with natural and hypnobirthing. I just have to forget about that stupid comment lol!
My advice is similar to others. I wouldn't worry about it. It's probably going to burn a little, but that part of the birth is so quick compared to the rest of it, AND you get your ultimate reward right after which takes a lot of the pain away. You can do this!
ETA: It did NOT feel like being burnt with a frying pan to me.:)
This. I thought transition was the worst part of labor. For me, pushing wasn't bad at all and it was over so fast I don't remember ever feeling anything painful enough to call it a ring of fire. I ended up with a first degree tear, no stitches, and never felt that either.
I would try not to worry about it, it could make you tense up which is the exact opposite of what you want to do. It probably won't be as bad as you're imagining.
med-free birth x2, breastfeeding, baby wearing SAHM
My BFP Chart
ditto. The contractions are MUCH more painful the pushing and the crowning.