My DW and I have been discussing this since we plan to adopt. We would like to change the full name if we adopt an infant but aren't sure about a child that is older.
We have friends that adopted 3 siblings 14 years ago and changed their names when they were 4 years, 2 years, and 1 year. They kept 2 of the kids names similar to their original name and changed one completely.
We definitely wont be chaning sprout and rosebud's names if we have the opportunity to adopt (though we will add our last name to theirs), but I cant say we'd 100% never change names because you can never speak for all situations until you are in them.
The main reason we don't want to change is because we never want to give them the sense that we are erasing thier past. We always want to communicate that we respect thier bio parents, thier history, and everything they came to us with - names included.
Of course, our kids' names are relatively normal - we would have to give it more consideration if we had a child with a really out there name or one that was tied to a not so good person.
I don't have a personal opinion but my cousin adopted three siblings and she was advised by the court and their social worker and therapist to change the names to help the kids make a clean break from a sad past. They chose a name for the youngest one (a baby), and the two older boys (I think they were 4 and 5 at the time) picked out their own names (w/ mom and dad approval of course - nobody was going to end up named Brontosaurus). The older boys didn't mind changing and they were excited to choose. I don't know what they would have done if the boys had objected to changing, but fortunately they didn't have to face that.
I don't have a personal opinion but my cousin adopted three siblings and she was advised by the court and their social worker and therapist to change the names to help the kids make a clean break from a sad past. They chose a name for the youngest one (a baby), and the two older boys (I think they were 4 and 5 at the time) picked out their own names (w/ mom and dad approval of course - nobody was going to end up named Brontosaurus). The older boys didn't mind changing and they were excited to choose. I don't know what they would have done if the boys had objected to changing, but fortunately they didn't have to face that.
I think that is a wonderful name for a little boy! Hehe
My best friend is in the process of finalizing adoption on her three foster kids. The oldest boy is 4. She is changing his name, but his new first name has the same nickname as his current first name. New middle name. He is a junior and she wants to break him from his bio dad ( who was jailed for severly abusing him) Middle boy ( age 2) will keep the same first name but have a new niddle name. Baby girl has a comepletly different name than her name given by her bio parents - but she has never lived with bio parents and my friend has always called her by the name she will have after the adoption.
I voted no-someone gave that child that name for a reason though it may not be clear to you (or us). I'd say it would be fine to call the child a different name but not to officially change it until the child is old enough to decide. and I didn't read the above responses but what if bio parents want to make contact (if you all decide that's the best idea)..I'm sure there would be records of the name change but that was just my gut response.
We are absolutely changing PBS' name. Her name does not suit her and it is tied to a very, very sick, tiny baby. She deserves a new start and that includes a new name.
We used a nickname for her until we decided on her name, which is the only name she knows. We are also changing it for safety reasons. Her birth name is not common and her birth parents have a violent history. We do not want them finding us. If she wants to find them we will support her and help her as best we can, but not the other way around.
LMC is another story. We feel that she is too old to change her name without it causing problems. Her name does actually suit her, though not a name I really like or love. We will be changing the spelling though and her middle name, mostly for safety and a little bit to honor family.
We plan to be honest with both girls about any changes we made and why.
butterflygrooves
member
Re: Poll: Changing names
My DW and I have been discussing this since we plan to adopt. We would like to change the full name if we adopt an infant but aren't sure about a child that is older.
We have friends that adopted 3 siblings 14 years ago and changed their names when they were 4 years, 2 years, and 1 year. They kept 2 of the kids names similar to their original name and changed one completely.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
I dont think so.
We definitely wont be chaning sprout and rosebud's names if we have the opportunity to adopt (though we will add our last name to theirs), but I cant say we'd 100% never change names because you can never speak for all situations until you are in them.
The main reason we don't want to change is because we never want to give them the sense that we are erasing thier past. We always want to communicate that we respect thier bio parents, thier history, and everything they came to us with - names included.
Of course, our kids' names are relatively normal - we would have to give it more consideration if we had a child with a really out there name or one that was tied to a not so good person.
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I think that is a wonderful name for a little boy! Hehe
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
My best friend is in the process of finalizing adoption on her three foster kids. The oldest boy is 4. She is changing his name, but his new first name has the same nickname as his current first name. New middle name. He is a junior and she wants to break him from his bio dad ( who was jailed for severly abusing him) Middle boy ( age 2) will keep the same first name but have a new niddle name. Baby girl has a comepletly different name than her name given by her bio parents - but she has never lived with bio parents and my friend has always called her by the name she will have after the adoption.
I voted no-someone gave that child that name for a reason though it may not be clear to you (or us). I'd say it would be fine to call the child a different name but not to officially change it until the child is old enough to decide. and I didn't read the above responses but what if bio parents want to make contact (if you all decide that's the best idea)..I'm sure there would be records of the name change but that was just my gut response.
We are absolutely changing PBS' name. Her name does not suit her and it is tied to a very, very sick, tiny baby. She deserves a new start and that includes a new name.
We used a nickname for her until we decided on her name, which is the only name she knows. We are also changing it for safety reasons. Her birth name is not common and her birth parents have a violent history. We do not want them finding us. If she wants to find them we will support her and help her as best we can, but not the other way around.
LMC is another story. We feel that she is too old to change her name without it causing problems. Her name does actually suit her, though not a name I really like or love. We will be changing the spelling though and her middle name, mostly for safety and a little bit to honor family.
We plan to be honest with both girls about any changes we made and why.