It's been a rough day. Support? Apt with new RE. (Kinda vent and story)

MrsRumpf

It's been a tough day.  It doesn't seem to be getting any better as time passes.

 Basically, my new RE told me I had a "hydro" pocket (fluid pocket) in my right tube.  It's big enough that it looks like the tube it completely un-useable without a lap to fix it.  

Knowing that, and that my ectopic was on my LEFT side, both tubes are most likely shot.  

This of course means anytime I try to conceive without IVF or just plain have sex I am risking another ectopic BIG TIME.

He also told me that unless I have another HSG to see what's going wrong I won't qualify for the package deal (shared risk or the 100% back plans).  However, if something IS wrong (and it most likely is) I will need a lap.  

DH and I are 100% OOP.

I am also starting a new VERY STRESSFUL full-time teaching job this year. AND HOUR AWAY from the clinic.  I don't have the 1-3 weeks he suggests his patients to take off after the surgery and I don't want another HSG without meds.  

I am also sick of waiting.  Not even just the usual "waiting for baby", but waiting to TRY TO HAVE ONE.  All these tests without any inseminations.  All these test pushing the IVF's off farther and farther.  The forced break after the ectopic and not being able to even try on our own now because of the risk it poses.  

GOOD GOD.  

I'm just feeling so depressed about the whole thing and sorry for myself.  I keep feeling like I should apologize to DH every time I see him.  It's me that's holding this whole thing up!  I've always been a positive thinker about this process, not getting too overwhelmed and staying positive.  But now that I know the real deal-- I'm breaking down.  I cry all the time and I just want to be like the other 90%.  But I know. . . don't we all. 

Thanks ladies.  I welcome any suggestions, thoughts, and prayers.  Love you kids! 

Echloe

I'm so sorry.  Sometimes it feels like it just gets harder and harder.  ((((HUGS))))

whispergrrl

I wish I had a solution for you, hon. IF sucks. Waiting sucks. The whole damn thing sucks. I hate that you are having to deal with so many things right now...all piling up on you. I'm sending thoughts and prayers out for you...that something will happen to help you through this... Have you thought about finding an IF counselor? I know that doesn't help with getting the show on the road...but maybe it would help to have an impartial third party to talk things through? Good luck with whatever you end up doing. I hope something can be figured out for you sooner rather than later. 

*sending hugs*

 

mdluv21

Hugs and prayers.

I am sorry it has to be this hard.  Being OOP makes things so difficult, I hate when financial decisions impact our ability to have a child.

Mrs.AmandaMqn

I am so sorry. giant ::hugs::

As if IF wasn't enough, the waiting, either to save or to have procedures done, frustrates me to no end. I feel your pain and hope something works out for you both. I'm praying for you.

inlove731

I'm so sorry your are going through all of this. I often feel the same way about wanting to apologize every time I see my husband.  But, they know we are in this together. 

I hope things get better for you soon and you start feeling better.  I'll be thinking about you!

CarrieB.

I sorry. Can you go get a second opinion? Have you tried Froedtert? sending you some big hugs. 

mikeandangie

I am sorry:( I think also that maybe seeing a counselor might be helpful. Everything you are feeling right now is entirely normal, IF is a really tough break. We didn't qualify for shared risk, so that was a big blow, but I have confidence in my RE and I hope it will only take one cycle.

Are you OOP for the lap too, or just the IVF?

beachbum1

I was in the same position as you last year.  I was starting a new teaching position and my Dr. told me in August that I would need to have a lap...nice timing.  Actually mine surgery ended up being a laparotomy (which requires more down time) but I scheduled it the Monday of Thanksgiving week.  We already had Wed, Thurs, Fri off so all I had to take was Mon and Tues.  I told my principal right away and she was very supportive.  Don't let that stress you out.  Honestly I went to Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws with no problem and was back to work Monday just like everyone else.  I had to get that done before we could move on with anything else.  GL.

love2b_mrst

I'm so sorry.  I know how stressful everything is and to pile being 100% OOP on top just sucks because then you have to worry about money on top of everything else.

I just switched doctors, and my new one has been great about working with me and my insurance.  I am doing some more diagnostic testing, and he's not coding it for infertility.  I have abnormal bleeding, and he said even if I wasn't trying to get pregnant that would still be an issue so all my tests are being coded as abnormal bleeding which means my health insurance will cover it.  It seems like maybe there could be a way to code any surgery you need so that it's not labeled IF?  I know that's only a small part of your stresses, but maybe it will alleviate some of it?

I think seeing an IF counselor is a good idea too...just to talk through how to handle waiting and all the setbacks, and the guilt you feel as well.  Good luck with everything and hope you feel better today.

NicoleeBonsai

((HUGS))

icedcoffeeluv

I'm so sorry. Its so unfair.

(((hugs)))

hollymichael

I'm sorry.  If you need a lap, could you have that done with your OBGYN? Maybe it would be covered by your insurance then as it could be coded as something other than IF. Also, that way you could have it done closer to home. Do you think you could try to do it at Thanksgiving or Christmas so you don't have to miss much work. I have not had a lap, but it seems that most women who have one can go back to work after a week. ((Hugs))

DeputiesWife

sending you lots of hugs! i wish i had a magic wand to make it all easier! I am SO sorry!!!

Amie8301

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. IF is just so unfair. I feel like we spend half of our life waiting on things... cycles, appts, money, results, etc, etc.

I really hope things start to look brighter for you soon. Sending tons of hugs in the meantime! (((((hugs)))))

MyShellyBelly

I'm so sorry sweetie. I wish I had some great words of wisdom to make things better for you. IF stinks. (((hugs))) and more (((hugs)))

wewannababy

I'm so sorry. That appointment must have been so overwhelming. Hugs!!!

etoyama

Oh honey, I am SO sorry. Big ((hugs)). That is a lot of crap to be dealing with, on top of starting a new job. I will be keeping you in my T&Ps, and if you ever want to talk, please send me a PM.

((hugs)) again. 

abbe19

O honey, I am so sorry. That is a lot of information for one appt. As asked above, can you have your OB/GYN do the lap so it can be billed under 'pain' and therefore covered by your insurance company? I so know how you feel-I have been trying since 2008 and it just gets so overwhelming. Try not to blame yourself-this is nothing you did or are doing. It's something completely out of your control. Your DH knows that. Try to take it day by day and good luck at your new job. (((hugs)))

MrsRumpf

CarrieB.:

I sorry. Can you go get a second opinion? Have you tried Froedtert? sending you some big hugs. 

I'm actually hoping between froedert and AF in Gurnee right now.  The IVF success rates are so much higher at AF and the prices are cheaper-- hense, our interest in driving so far. 

MrsRumpf

mikeandangie:

I am sorry:( I think also that maybe seeing a counselor might be helpful. Everything you are feeling right now is entirely normal, IF is a really tough break. We didn't qualify for shared risk, so that was a big blow, but I have confidence in my RE and I hope it will only take one cycle.

Are you OOP for the lap too, or just the IVF?

We are OOP for "all things IF". And my insurance feels everything lately is because of IF. They SUCK.