foster care as a new mom?

jmetzler05

My husband and I have always talked about foster care/adoption, and we're wondering about the timing of when to start.  Has anyone out there started foster parenting with a new baby in the house?  Our first is due in November, and on one hand I'm excited to be staying home as a mom and want to say, "bring it on", but I know in reality it would be a huge challenge.  TIA for any advice or experience you can share!

 

MyColonyNJ

We got our foster care / adoption license and found out I was pregnant in the same week.

Lil J came to us when I was about 12 weeks pregnant.  He is still here almost 18 months later.

So, he was with us for 6 months when my daughter was born.

The biggest challege is the daycare issue for court, etc.  We have had several court hearings, court ordered appointments, etc and since I can not bring my daughter to court (or Lil J for that matter) I have to find a baby sitter.

Lil J is in Pre-K, so that is easy.  But either my husband has to take off of work, or I have to find a sitter. 

He was only 3 when he came to us (JUST turned 3 a few weeks before), and did not have any issues with younger children.

That would be a BIG thing to consider - some kids are not good with young children, so when you get a call for a placement I would ask lots of questions.  Of course your case worker would know that you have a small child in the home - so I would hope they would not even call you for placements that would not be appropriate.

We have had only one placement, outside of a few weekend respite placements.  So, I really can't give any advice about short term placements.

But, I can tell you - and I am sure other foster parents can agree - new placements need a lot of attention.  Just keep that in mind, since a new baby also needs a lot of attention.  I can tell you that in the begining, when my daughter was just born, I spent a lot of time with Lil J when my daughter was napping.

Really  - just giving him tons of reassurance that he was just as important to me as the new baby.  BUt, I think this would be something I would do even if he was our bio child.

On another note, if you start the process now, it is possible that your classes will not be until the baby is born.  There are a lot of places that only offer classes a few times a year.  In our case, we got lucky, since there was a class starting about 2 weeks after we submitted our apps, and there was a spot for us.  Otherwise, we would have to wait another 3-4 months for the next class.

this could get hard with a newborn and finding someone to watch the baby.

Sorry, this turned out so long, good luck with your pregnancy.

come*on*baby

Foster children require more attention than normal. You will have doctors appts (vision and dental included), any therapy appointments outside the home (counseling, pysch appt, etc.) and then most likely some type of speech, occupational and/or physical therapists, that do come to the home. Its very overwhelming to even the most experienced sometimes. I had 4 children in our home when we brought our youngest home from the hospital. He was a preemie, so he required 2 hour feedings around the clock, so I didn't get to do the "nap when they nap" that a lot of people suggest.

MayDayGirl

We started doing foster care when my son was 5 months old.  we brought home a 2y9mo old child. It was definitely an adjustment, but my son was really easy which made doing foster care all the easier.