if you plan on being a SAHM after babies

nikinikinine

when are you leaving work?

are you giving your bosses a lot of notice or just the typical 2 week/30 day type notice?

(p.s. DH should go fishing every sunday, I'm getting so many questions answered today!) 

newsbaby

Well this is terrible to say but I am probably only going to give them 2 weeks notice before I am due to come back. I feel guilty but then again what have they done for me that is so wonderful that they deserve more respect than that? 

Right now I am pretending that I am definitely coming back when asked but I know that its a firm no in reality. 

LVBlvd

With my singleton DD, I told my boss at 34 weeks.  I wanted to work until 38.  I wanted to give him a full month to fill my position and let me train her.  I also wanted a few weeks to myself before she came.  She came at 38w2d, so it worked out fine.

LVBlvd

newsbaby:

Well this is terrible to say but I am probably only going to give them 2 weeks notice before I am due to come back. I feel guilty but then again what have they done for me that is so wonderful that they deserve more respect than that? 

Right now I am pretending that I am definitely coming back when asked but I know that its a firm no in reality. 

Oh I did the same.  I always said that I was planning on returning after my leave, when I knew for a fact that wasn't true.  I didn't want to get fired!

I just told at 34 weeks knowing that if they wanted me to leave right then, that would be fine.  They let me stay until 38 weeks. 

nikinikinine

newsbaby:

Well this is terrible to say but I am probably only going to give them 2 weeks notice before I am due to come back. I feel guilty but then again what have they done for me that is so wonderful that they deserve more respect than that? 

Right now I am pretending that I am definitely coming back when asked but I know that its a firm no in reality. 

do you get to keep some sort of benefit by insinuating that you'll come back (i.e. healthcare, STD, etc.?)

If I can get a doctor's note out of work I'll probably stay and do the same thing you are planning on doing. I should know more at my next appt which is in <2 wks.

If I can "stay" until the second week of December I get a bonus check which is tied to my salary as part of our compensation package. The bonus is 10% of my salary for the year and is prorated by the number of months I was full time vs. part time. If I leave before December 15, I am not entitled to the bonus (which is pure BS).

H and I had a long talk about this last night. What is the bonus worth if I end up having the babies early b/c I pushed too hard and then they end up in the NICU. Conversely, if I can get put on exclusively working at home, it makes sense for me to hold out with my mouth shut until January.

I'm annoyed that I even have to think about this. 

newsbaby

Yes I get to keep my health insurance and I am paid my salary for 6 weeks, half salary for 4 weeks, 1 week full pay of parental leave, all of my vacation time paid out, 1 week of extended illness days that I banked, and then STD pay. Most of this will be used before the babies are even born since I will be out at 25 weeks.

I think you should talk to your doctors realistically at the next appt. Personally I would not be able to stay until the second week of December as attractive as that bonus sounds. If you are written out of work by your doc before then, you are technically still employed there, so would you still get that check? That is crap if you don't. If they let you WAH you are golden. 

I would love that money too but I would listen to my doc and not push myself at all. Remember the most important thing is the babies. 

nikinikinine

newsbaby:

If you are written out of work by your doc before then, you are technically still employed there, so would you still get that check? 

yup! I get the bonus if I'm employed. If I submit my notice a day before the checks are issues, I get neither jack nor sh!t LOL. 

inlovewithB

newsbaby:

Well this is terrible to say but I am probably only going to give them 2 weeks notice before I am due to come back. I feel guilty but then again what have they done for me that is so wonderful that they deserve more respect than that? 

Right now I am pretending that I am definitely coming back when asked but I know that its a firm no in reality. 

This exactly! 

juliannat

Eep! I knew I shouldn't have opened this post

(because I am on the other side of the fence - being an employer dealing with what to do when staff get pg!)

FWIW...the staff member who just left on mat leave with twins - we have to hold her job for a year (mat leave laws in Canada) and honestly - even though she says she's coming back, we don't count on it. I "get" why people do this, I really do - but if I can offer a teensy bit of pleading from the other side - if you like your job and your boss, the earlier you can tell them your plans ie. when you plan to stop working (not the coming back part, even), the better. 

It's so tricky for everyone involved, isn't it?

BunnyintheYard

I'll be giving my office 1 months notice.

t.bird

i've said it before & i'll say it again: i think it's highly unprofessional to lead your company to believe you're coming back only to drop the bomb a couple weeks before your'e due to do so.

it not only affects your company but it also affects your fellow co-workers who are possibly left to pick up your slack.

you should always leave on good terms because it can come back to bite you in the ass if/when you plan on using them as a ref when you go to get another job in a couple years.

lastly- people should be carefull because your company can come back at you for all of your maternity leave pay & insurance payout (if you get any)

i'm not a SAHM, but i say this as someone who has had to deal with excess stress & work when a few women in my company have pulled the above. it's super annoying.

nikinikinine

t.bird:

i've said it before & i'll say it again: i think it's highly unprofessional to lead your company to believe you're coming back only to drop the bomb a couple weeks before your'e due to do so.

it not only affects your company but it also affects your fellow co-workers who are possibly left to pick up your slack.

you should always leave on good terms because it can come back to bite you in the ass if/when you plan on using them as a ref when you go to get another job in a couple years.

lastly- people should be carefull because your company can come back at you for all of your maternity leave pay & insurance payout (if you get any)

i'm not a SAHM, but i say this as someone who has had to deal with excess stress & work when a few women in my company have pulled the above. it's super annoying.

my company is small and we have no maternity leave policy whatsoever. I have told my boss that I don't plan on coming back after the babies are born and she has asked me to try to come back in some fashion. She told me to propose something AFTER the babies are born to see how I'm feeling and what I think I'm capable of.

I think it's an exaggerated blanket statement to assume that just because you decide not to come back that you haven't given your company advance notice of your decision.

My question was not whether you intend to screw your employers and fellow coworkers, it was whether or not you plan on leaving early or working till the end.

KiKiGee

t.bird:

i've said it before & i'll say it again: i think it's highly unprofessional to lead your company to believe you're coming back only to drop the bomb a couple weeks before your'e due to do so.

it not only affects your company but it also affects your fellow co-workers who are possibly left to pick up your slack.

you should always leave on good terms because it can come back to bite you in the ass if/when you plan on using them as a ref when you go to get another job in a couple years.

lastly- people should be carefull because your company can come back at you for all of your maternity leave pay & insurance payout (if you get any)

i'm not a SAHM, but i say this as someone who has had to deal with excess stress & work when a few women in my company have pulled the above. it's super annoying.

I have to totally agree with this.  Sorry, but as a boss who has had to deal with employee maternity leave I have no respect for women who lie to their bosses about coming back.  I do get that there are probably some exceptions, I just find it dishonest and extremely unprofessional, and dishonesty is my biggest pet peeve.  If you work in a small company It's flat mean to fellow coworkers who are picking up the extra duties while you're gone and on top of that it makes it harder for every other working woman in your company who may want/need to come back after baby.

Niki - FWIW I don't think this applies to you - you're talking about when to give notice, not saying you're going to call in 2 wks before you are scheduled to come back and quit. I'm all for women SAH with babies and think it's great that you're working on a plan.

For those who are planning to tell work you're coming back and then bailing, I don't know your exact situation and I won't pretend to, I just think, personally, it's a really poor, selfish choice.  By all means SAH if that's what's best for you, but no matter how crappy your job might be, they've been giving you a paycheck and will be supporting your mat leave (if only by holding your job in a truly terrible economy) while you're out.  To lie to them is just a completely shady in my book.

Sorry - this is just one of those things that really gets me.