I realize having sex while pregnant is safe

lilbit923

but DH is having second thoughts. The last time we had sex I started bleeding (bright red) afterwards. We thought we were losing the baby. I had an u/s the following Monday to confirm the baby was ok and the tech could see the baby still inside as well as where the placenta was pulling away. We could get no answer as to why the bleeding started.

DH and I have a healthy sex life and we were very active while pg with Emma. I do not want to shun him in this aspect of our marriage. I know he is trying to think of me instead of himself but that doesn't change my feelings for wanting him. He says he doesn't want to hurt me or the baby.

Do we avoid sex? I seriously hope we don't have to.

BellaKelsey

What did your doc say when you went in for the appointment?

lilbit923

Nothing. She's been a biatch to me and after my u/s noted that I didn't need to speak to her in the computer to the receptionist. When I told my OB that DH and I wanted another baby after we had Emma and were going to have her again as our OB she replied "Ugh geez." When I went to my first appt with her, she was a bit nicer but not by much. Her comment to me as she walked in was "Well, you wanted to be pregnant!" in a blaming tone.

After that weekend I was glad I didn't have to see her since I had been crying enough and didn't need her attitude to fuel that some more.

I know the rule is sex is ok while pregnant. I wasn't bleeding from the cervix but it still makes DH cautious as the tech could see clear signs of hemorrhaging (sp) and separation. I asked if it was from sex and she said there was no well to tell and mentioned her SIL started to bleed from walking up flights of stairs. I don't want to lose this baby and I also don't want to lose the emotional closeness I love being with DH.

shaunna&chad

Umm, I would probably find a doctor that seems to actually care about your health and well being... And then have the new doc take a look at things and go from there. Good luck!

Green*Flamingo

Find a new OB- one that won't treat you like you are a bother.

lilbit923

Green*Flamingo:

Find a new OB- one that won't treat you like you are a bother.

I can't begin to tell you how heartbroken I was to see her reaction. I've trusted her for over 10 years. My son was born dying and she saved his life. I would put my life in her hands from then on. She delivered Emma and I was and still am so thankful. DH and I wanted a bigger family. Just happened sooner than we wanted. For her to blow me off like that? I was very hurt. I felt she treated me like I was a charity case and I'm not. Like according to her I didn't need another baby. And that's also not her call.

mrsjanks

I bled at 5/6 weeks after sex. Went in, and betas were fine. I was told to that I was on pelvic rest til the next appt. At 9 weeks, I was cleared for sex. We've done it once, and it wasn't that comfortable.

I've been pleasuring DH in other ways. Maybe I'll feel like sex again one day.

haleymay18

I assure you that he will come around. (no pun intended).

?

29 more weeks is a long way to go for you guys without knocking socks.?

CutieBean79

If it were me, I'd probably wait til your next appt and ask her specifically about it.  I'd be a little scared after having an episode like that.

lilbit923

Thanks ladies. I know there must have been some eye rolling from some who read this thinking I must be out of it for posting something so silly. But I don't want to disappoint DH at the same time I don't want to risk losing this baby.

My next appt is Monday so we'll see what happens then.

thebigmare

I think your post is a perfectly reasonable post. I hope no one rolls their eyes at you, but if they do, who f-ing cares?  

After my week 5/6 spotting, ob put us on pelvis rest and then at my week 8 appt, my midwife cleared us for sex. She said that if I do bleed from sex, that we might want to consider not having sex since the bleeding can complicate things (bc then you don't know for sure what caused the bleeding). She did my PAP and told me that I was definitely going to have bleeding in 24-48, so we should wait until after that bleeding to have sex. Ironically, I had the tiniest drop of red blood from the exam and that was all! We had sex after that and no bleeding! Of course, I was super disappointed in the "o" after hearing about all of you lucky ladies on here that are having the best o's of your life during pregnancy.

Poor hubby has been trying all week, but I've just been so freaking tired this week!!! It's not like he's waiting until 11 pm either. He asked this afternoon and was shot down bc I wanted to lay on the couch and nap!!! Poor DH! 

Is your hubby a snuggler? It's nice to at least get naked snuggles!  

lilbit923

thebigmare:

I think your post is a perfectly reasonable post. I hope no one rolls their eyes at you, but if they do, who f-ing cares?  

After my week 5/6 spotting, ob put us on pelvis rest and then at my week 8 appt, my midwife cleared us for sex. She said that if I do bleed from sex, that we might want to consider not having sex since the bleeding can complicate things (bc then you don't know for sure what caused the bleeding). She did my PAP and told me that I was definitely going to have bleeding in 24-48, so we should wait until after that bleeding to have sex. Ironically, I had the tiniest drop of red blood from the exam and that was all! We had sex after that and no bleeding! Of course, I was super disappointed in the "o" after hearing about all of you lucky ladies on here that are having the best o's of your life during pregnancy.

Poor hubby has been trying all week, but I've just been so freaking tired this week!!! It's not like he's waiting until 11 pm either. He asked this afternoon and was shot down bc I wanted to lay on the couch and nap!!! Poor DH! 

Is your hubby a snuggler? It's nice to at least get naked snuggles!  

DH is a big snuggler and has been so supportive. When I saw the bleeding a few weeks ago he was immediately loving, telling it will be ok, if we lose this one at least we can get pregnant and try again. I was a sobbing wreck and apologizing to him because I was the one who wanted to have sex and I blamed myself for the bleeding.

I am fine with waiting till after Monday's OB appt and DH is in no hurry. He knows how sensitive these things can be and we're not wanting to risk it right now. He's usually the one wanting to have sex and lately I, like you, have been so exhausted. I know I must be letting him down but he's not letting on that I am. I have to make it up to him soon.