Any SAHM's.. Quick question.

ManduhhMommie

Hey ladies! So my DH is in the Air Force and I am pregnant with our first baby. He doesnt want baby to be in day care all day while we are at work. Just curious about the benefits of being a SAHM--other than the bonding time with baby.

leslie13510

Pros: You are 100% responsible for raising your kids, no daycare fees, you can let your kid set their own schedule instead of them having to follow a set schedule at a daycare, more time to clean your house and cook meals, you don't miss the big "firsts" that they might otherwise do at daycare, you have more time for hobbies, you can nap when they nap (or so I hear... I've never been able to actually accomplish this), you don't have to worry about whether or not a daycare's discipline/scheduling/feeding/etc habits mesh with your own parenting style, generally kids that stay at home aren't sick as often as babies and toddlers because they aren't around all the other germs...

Cons: You are 100% responsible for raising your kids, there is no real break during the day except maybe during nap time if you don't have other things to catch up on around the house, you get very little adult time (even if you go on playdates with friends most of your time will be spent looking after your kid), it can be very boring during the tiny baby phase when they don't do much, it's mentally exhausting in a way that is hard for non-SAH parents to understand, less fun money (practically none depending on your H's rank), it's really easy to take things for granted when you're around your kids 24/7 and not appreciate the little moments like you should, you don't get the outside perspective of daycare teachers to help you with problems like getting your child to use sippy cups or silverware, they probably won't learn things as fast as they would with a room full of kids to watch and copy, even though you technically have more time to clean having kids home destroying it all day makes for a very messy house, they'll likely make up for missing all the baby/toddler sickness by being constantly ill their first year of school...

ManduhhMommie

Makes sense.. I didnt think about some of that stuff. Thanks!

Ilumine

There are many benefits to SAHM - as long as you (the SAHM) put the effort into it.

1. Cost savings.  When you calculate exactly how much one parent's salary goes towards the costs of day-care, to include the extra driving for drop-off and time off for child illness, etc, manytimes you are just breaking even. Being home means being able to follow those cost-savers that take time, like making lunches and homecooked meals.
2. Easier house cleaning then only doing it after work or on the weekends (I have a slightly rigid daily/weekly/bi-monthly/montly schedule that actually has made my overall daily cleaning extremely easy). I actually have my weekends free of any chores. 
3. Better (just my opinion) socialization of your child, since you can have both regular interaction with other kids (playgroups) AND introduce new children/situations on a weekly basis. 
4. You and your child can see/do so much more.  Even as a baby, every time you travel somewhere he/she will learn something new.  These experiences will help him/her in the long run.

But YOU have to be happy BEING a SAHM to make it work.  If you are not, you won't put the effort into it and it can become boring for all those involved.

I know that if we were not in Europe right now, I would be working.  But I LOVE the opportunities that we have (DD and I go somewhere new at least 2 mondays a month).  SO that makes being home FUN for me.  But if we were still stuck in FL, not so much. 

ManduhhMommie

I love the idea of being a SAHM, I just dont know if I'll get cabin fever. Guess we'll have to see.

DO you mind sharing your daily/weekly/biweekly/and so on.. cleaning routine? I am having a terrible time setting one! 

Ilumine

Every day (all day long) I sort of straighten as I go.  I have taught DH and SS that if they leave anything in the common area, I get to keep it for a week.  This was instituted when DD started to walk.  She ate/detroyed a remote and Wii stick.  While it IS my job to monitor, the Wii Stick was done while I was making her breakfast.  I will also continually throw her toys from one end of the living room to the play area all day long.  It may stay on the floor, but its out of the way.    I try to put all of the dishes in the dishwasher right away and clean as I prepare food.  Everyday evenings (all done in the 30 mins after I put DD down for bed) 1) Clean-up the toys.  I have 4 large baskets: stuffed toys, little people, books, sundries.  I just chuck the toys in their bins.  And the baskets are really pretty! 2) Clean up the kitchen.  Even though it is SS?s job to clean up the dinner dishes/pots  ( before him, it was DH?s job ), he doesn?t really clean the sink or counters.  3) Get the coffee pots ready for the morning (DH has his and I have my Senseo) Monday / Wed / Friday.  1) Dust the common areas (living room, dinning room and kitchen) 2) Sweep (and spot wet swiffer if necessary) 3) Vacuum (I have two dogs, a 19mo, 14yo and DH who likes to tinker ? it gets dusty/messy) Tuesdays Laundry and nothing but.  Thursdays I use Thursdays to do those bi-monthly or monthly chores.  1) Wash the floors 2x a month - I do this with a bucket and towel by hand.  2) Clean the bathrooms 2x a month ** 3) Dust the rest of the house once a month, 4) Go through my paperwork once a month, etc.  These chores are all dependent upon your needs.    ** Because of  to the design of the European toilets, they get ?dirty? on a daily basis.  So DH and SS scrub out the toilets every other  day.