Babies: 6 - 9 Months
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XP-I need a break from breastfeeding :( (long)

Where do I even begin...DD is 7 months old and has never, ever taken a bottle. She is also a terrible sleeper, has never STTN and is now refusing to sleep unless my boob is in her mouth.We try our hardest to get her in the crib for at least the first half of the night, then after she has woken up once or twice, we bed share for the rest of the night out of complete exhaustion. Things have been getting progressively worse. She has no idea how to put her self to sleep. Once we get her to sleep (whether it be by nursing or DH bouncing her) she wakes up as soon as we lay her down and she screams bloody murder.  If I try to get her down without nursing her, she screams. We just got done with 50 minutes of her screaming, while I was holding her, trying to get her down for a nap. On top of the sleep problems, DD only wants me to hold her. She is ok with DH too about half the time but if she sees me she cries until I take her. I thought it was a phase but she has been like this since 3 or 4 months old!So basically, I have never gotten a break for more than 2 hours. She is still nursing every 2 hours during the day, and usually only goes 3 or 4 hours at a time at night. I am slowly losing my mind. I have anxiety, I'm tired, and I feel like I lose my temper so easily...this isn't a good thing when you have a 21 month old :( I'm just out of patience. I also feel like if I wasn't nursing she wouldn't be quite this bad. DH and I haven't had much time alone together since DD was born. The few times we had alone, I end up worrying about her since she is so terrible with other people. All of this is making it very hard to enjoy anything. What the heck do I do? I have been contemplating anxiety meds since exercise isn't helping too much in that department. :( Please help!
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Re: XP-I need a break from breastfeeding :( (long)

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    I would try pumping and give her the bottle.  If you don't want to pump then give her formula.  I would go insane if I ebf; I pump and yes pumping is a PITA but it gives me some freedom!
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    First (((hugs)))) you have got to be so exhausted.

    ok now a couple trouble shooting things

    1. how is your supply 

    2. how long is she nursing each session since she is nursing so often

    3. can you try to space it out more, if you try to what happens

    4. how many times a day is she eating solids

    5. how is she napping during the day

    6. are you against some type of modified CIO

    7. have you talked to your pedi

    8. will she take a paci/lovey?

    ~Christina S~ EST: 9/27/08        *May 2015 Jan. Signature Challenge-
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    Have you read Babywise??  I suggest you start implementing Eat, Play, Sleep right now.  We saw immediate results.  As in, DS fell asleep on his own the first day we started using the parent directed feeding method.  

     

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    hang in there!!  what kind of sleep training did you use for your older LO?  it sounds like she needs to learn how to put herself to sleep so that when she wakes up she can put herself back to sleep.  what does she use to soothe?  a paci or a lovey?  maybe one of these would help.....

    we used Sleep Sense....more for the naps than for the night--DD was great at night but wouldn't nap unless she was on the boob.  we have had success using the Sleep Sense program....she takes 2 naps a day and is still STTN. 

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    oh momma! I am so sorry. I would probably try CIO for the sleep issues. I dont breastfeed so I dont know what I would do as far as feedings. Hang in there ::hugs::
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    Jumping over from 3-6...

    I feel your pain. We are in the same boat except DS takes a bottle when I am at work. We have been wanting to try a full bottle at night to fill him up but I pump when I am away and dont pump enough for DS so I cant spare anything extra for night feedings. When I get home , during the night and on the weekends DS nurses every 2 hours as well. If I am lucky he goes for 2.5 hours. The sleeping issue is the same for us as well. he will go down but not for more that a couple hours and I cant stand to let him CIO.

    All I can say is my husband has been really supportive to try formula feedings at night if I cant take it anymore...He sees how stressed out I get when DS is going through a bad one. I really am trying to be strong and I hope you can too. Its really hard but as soon as I decide to try formula, I cant bring myself to give it to him and I just give in and BF.

    Maybe you can get a hand pump and try getting enough for a bottle and maybe try filling her up?

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    imageCTri17:

    First (((hugs)))) you have got to be so exhausted.

    ok now a couple trouble shooting things

    1. how is your supply 

    2. how long is she nursing each session since she is nursing so often

    3. can you try to space it out more, if you try to what happens

    4. how many times a day is she eating solids

    5. how is she napping during the day

    6. are you against some type of modified CIO

    7. have you talked to your pedi

    8. will she take a paci/lovey?

     

    1. I have no idea how my supply is! I don't pump since she has never taken a bottle. (We started trying to give her one at 5 weeks, tried for months..just didn't happen) She seems satisfied after nursing, so I assume it's ok.

    2. She is nursing around 10 minutes or so. She is emptying me as far as I can tell.

    3. I could try to space the feedings out more but if I'm around, it's the first thing she wants if she's tired. She will go a little longer if DH is home with her.

    4. We just started solids twice a day. I have been hesitant because she is so easily constipated. I have been giving her prunes daily and even that's not helping all that much.

    5. She rarely naps longer than 30 minutes. She has been this way since about 2.5-3 months. Since her naps are so short, she ends up napping 3-4 times a day.

    6. I have always been on the fence about any type of CIO. We had used Ferber for DS when he was around 8 months but he still never STTN until a year. He would STTN for a few days and go right back to waking up at night..it just seemed like we were always letting him cry and I think we got less sleep because of it. I'm just afraid of the same thing happening with DD because she is a worse sleeper than he was! I'm also afraid I won't stick with it because I'm such a softie!

    7.  I have talked to my pedi. He says to let her cry :(

    8. She has never taken a paci and we haven't introduced a lovey yet. Maybe it's about time we do! 

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    I had this same problem with my DD. She refused to sleep without the boob too. I bed shared with her until my poor tailbone could no longer take it anymore. At 6 months I sleep trained her and let her CIO. It was the best thing I could do for both of us. The first couple of nights were tourture, but it was worth it.

    I read the Sleep Sense Program cover to cover. Page Sharmurph if you are interested in it. It works.

    We put her to be around 7:30 every night. I bath her, then my DH reads her a story while I am nursing her. Sometimes she falls asleep at the boob and other times she doesn't. Either way, I put her in her crib and she STTN. If she has a fit, I let her fuss for 10 minutes then I will soothe her. She rarley fusses more that 5 minutes.

    {{hugs}} to you, I understand how hard it is. You just have to make the change for her. She needs to sleep in her crib.

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    imagecatycombs:

    I had this same problem with my DD. She refused to sleep without the boob too. I bed shared with her until my poor tailbone could no longer take it anymore. At 6 months I sleep trained her and let her CIO. It was the best thing I could do for both of us. The first couple of nights were tourture, but it was worth it.

    I read the Sleep Sense Program cover to cover. Page Sharmurph if you are interested in it. It works.

    We put her to be around 7:30 every night. I bath her, then my DH reads her a story while I am nursing her. Sometimes she falls asleep at the boob and other times she doesn't. Either way, I put her in her crib and she STTN. If she has a fit, I let her fuss for 10 minutes then I will soothe her. She rarley fusses more that 5 minutes.

    {{hugs}} to you, I understand how hard it is. You just have to make the change for her. She needs to sleep in her crib.

    Did you let her cry for middle of the night wakings too?

    We have talked about it but the problem is, her crib is in our room. We don't dare put her in with DS yet since she wakes up so much.  

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    imagejonnygurl76:

    hang in there!!  what kind of sleep training did you use for your older LO?  it sounds like she needs to learn how to put herself to sleep so that when she wakes up she can put herself back to sleep.  what does she use to soothe?  a paci or a lovey?  maybe one of these would help.....

    we used Sleep Sense....more for the naps than for the night--DD was great at night but wouldn't nap unless she was on the boob.  we have had success using the Sleep Sense program....she takes 2 naps a day and is still STTN. 

    We had tried Ferber for DS but like I said in my other post....I'm not sure if it was the right thing to do for him. It seemed like we were constantly letting him cry. He never consistently STTN until a year.

    DD has never taken a paci. I should introduce a lovey though..maybe that will help!

    What did you do for night wakings? I don't mind feeding her but when she wakes up, I feed her, she falls asleep and wakes up as soon as I lie her down.  

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    imageJilybean17:

    1. I have no idea how my supply is! I don't pump since she has never taken a bottle. (We started trying to give her one at 5 weeks, tried for months..just didn't happen) She seems satisfied after nursing, so I assume it's ok.

    2. She is nursing around 10 minutes or so. She is emptying me as far as I can tell.

    3. I could try to space the feedings out more but if I'm around, it's the first thing she wants if she's tired. She will go a little longer if DH is home with her.

    4. We just started solids twice a day. I have been hesitant because she is so easily constipated. I have been giving her prunes daily and even that's not helping all that much.

    5. She rarely naps longer than 30 minutes. She has been this way since about 2.5-3 months. Since her naps are so short, she ends up napping 3-4 times a day.

    6. I have always been on the fence about any type of CIO. We had used Ferber for DS when he was around 8 months but he still never STTN until a year. He would STTN for a few days and go right back to waking up at night..it just seemed like we were always letting him cry and I think we got less sleep because of it. I'm just afraid of the same thing happening with DD because she is a worse sleeper than he was! I'm also afraid I won't stick with it because I'm such a softie!

    7.  I have talked to my pedi. He says to let her cry :(

    8. She has never taken a paci and we haven't introduced a lovey yet. Maybe it's about time we do! 

    Can you try pumping and having DH give her a bottle when you aren't around? Or what about in a sippy cup since she is old enough?

    It seems like she is nursing plenty long, my DD nurses when she first wakes up and then 1 hour in (because of her reflux) but then she will be up another hour and then nap for 1-2 hours , so then she spaces it.

    We do solids 2x a day and it has helped tremendously, prunes were a big help as well. 

    Do you think some of her crying could be becuase her tuummy hurts from being constipated?

    As far as a lovey, sleep with it for a few nights or spray it with your perfume so that DD will recognize the scent, my DD has a triple crocheted blankie that she loves.

    As far as the naps, I'm sure you know this but she is barely getting into any type of deep sleep because that starts at the 20 min mark.

    So if I were you I would try to help her back to sleep if she wakes up then, swing, paci, lovey even nurse possibly (but that would be my last option), DD was a chronic 45 min waker and it took her a while to sleep through the break so if she woke up we would put her in the swing as soon as she woke up so that she would fall back asleep.

    Once she wasn't overtired during the day night time sleep got better as well.

    Hang in there, you are doing a good job

    ~Christina S~ EST: 9/27/08        *May 2015 Jan. Signature Challenge-
                                                     You had one job- Parents magazine
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    BFP-3/17/14 --M/C 4/25/14

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    Oh my god...I SO feel your pain.  We were having these same issues.  DD only wanted to sleep with the boob in her mouth at night.  She would wake up and cry every time I put her down in the night and was not napping well at all.  The solution for us was a combination of de-swaddling and a little bit of CIO.

     Honestly I have my husband to thank because I was very against both of these.  One day he just said that we had to do something.  He put her in her crib without swaddling on her tummy for a morning nap.  I thought he was crazy because I didn't think she could sleep without swaddling.  He said he was going to let her cry for a little bit.  She cried for 16 minutes before going out.....it seemed like forever.  We kept going and she cried less and less each time.  The longest she has ever cried is about 30 minutes.  She hardly ever cries at all when I put her down now.

     She is FAR from perfect yet....still getting up 2-4 times per night but at least she goes right back down after I feed her.  Nap times and bed times are not a struggle anymore!!

     Hope this helps!   

     

     

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    imagenewlywed827:

    Oh my god...I SO feel your pain.  We were having these same issues.  DD only wanted to sleep with the boob in her mouth at night.  She would wake up and cry every time I put her down in the night and was not napping well at all.  The solution for us was a combination of de-swaddling and a little bit of CIO.

     Honestly I have my husband to thank because I was very against both of these.  One day he just said that we had to do something.  He put her in her crib without swaddling on her tummy for a morning nap.  I thought he was crazy because I didn't think she could sleep without swaddling.  He said he was going to let her cry for a little bit.  She cried for 16 minutes before going out.....it seemed like forever.  We kept going and she cried less and less each time.  The longest she has ever cried is about 30 minutes.  She hardly ever cries at all when I put her down now.

     She is FAR from perfect yet....still getting up 2-4 times per night but at least she goes right back down after I feed her.  Nap times and bed times are not a struggle anymore!!

     Hope this helps!   

     

     

    It does help, thank you! DH and I need to sit down and figure out what we're going to do about this mess. I have been saying it's just a phase for months now but things are just getting worse and I want to help her sleep better before teething really sets in--I'm afraid things will go from bad to worse if we don't do something now!  

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    imageJilybean17:
    imagenewlywed827:

    Oh my god...I SO feel your pain.  We were having these same issues.  DD only wanted to sleep with the boob in her mouth at night.  She would wake up and cry every time I put her down in the night and was not napping well at all.  The solution for us was a combination of de-swaddling and a little bit of CIO.

     Honestly I have my husband to thank because I was very against both of these.  One day he just said that we had to do something.  He put her in her crib without swaddling on her tummy for a morning nap.  I thought he was crazy because I didn't think she could sleep without swaddling.  He said he was going to let her cry for a little bit.  She cried for 16 minutes before going out.....it seemed like forever.  We kept going and she cried less and less each time.  The longest she has ever cried is about 30 minutes.  She hardly ever cries at all when I put her down now.

     She is FAR from perfect yet....still getting up 2-4 times per night but at least she goes right back down after I feed her.  Nap times and bed times are not a struggle anymore!!

     Hope this helps!   

     

     

    It does help, thank you! DH and I need to sit down and figure out what we're going to do about this mess. I have been saying it's just a phase for months now but things are just getting worse and I want to help her sleep better before teething really sets in--I'm afraid things will go from bad to worse if we don't do something now!  

     I was feeling the same. Getting depressed, loosing my temper.  You are not alone.  The stress of being the sole comforter is crazy.  It will get better.  Just make a plan and stick to it.  Much love to you!! 

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