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when i was finally starting to have faith.....

cearleyjaycearleyjay
in Military Families

in the navy, they go and do something to knock me down again.  i really need to vent about this because i cant show my husband im upset. 

so at the time he got back from deployment we were just engaged.  his detailer told him that if we got married as soon as possible he would work to get my DFs orders to VA changed.  we were married (august 7th) 4 days after he got back.  there is a 3 day wait period in florida.  i really didnt want to do it just for the navy so they could leave him here with me.  but i planned out this cute beach wedding that would be more than a court house.  this past thursday (august 12th) he come home and says i got my orders today!  to VA!!!!!  they didnt even give us time to do the paper work!  and he goes on transfer leave on august 25th, and reports to VA on september 30th.  WTH?  im so upset!  i feel like my life is just going to crash and burn.  work is going poorly.  i feel like i dont know if i can do this with 2 kids, by myself.  im scared.  

thanks for listening!   

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Re: when i was finally starting to have faith.....

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    Lissa832Lissa832 member
    This is the life of a military spouse.  Get used to it.  The military can spring things on you in a heartbeat with little time to prepare.  Been there, done that.  It sucks sometimes, but you have to learn to roll with the punches or you won't make it.  Good luck!
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    NSLNSL member
    Orders can also always change.  Until you're on the plane, nothing is final.  My own family was all set to PCS to Korea, and just 36 hours before we were going to leave we were informed that we were staying put instead.  Have your husband talk to his detailer ASAP tomorrow before you freak out.  And if you do have to move, so be it.  You may end up really loving Virginia and finding some wonderful personal and professional opportunities there.
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    tlalli7106tlalli7106 member
    I used to do this all the time and get my hopes up and "have faith in the Navy" until I realized they are going to put you (and your family) where they need you. You really have no say in the decision...that's what hubby signed up for the day he signed on the dotted line, so to speak :)
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    becca529becca529 member

    What do you mean "on your own"? Like, you don't have your family anymore to help? Its all part of being a mom, and a military wife. No one said it would be easy, but Im sure you already knew that. VA isn' THAT far away from FL, so you will still get holidays with your family.

    Also, Im amazed they ever pushed you to get married, and marital status has nohing to do with orders... so I dont know why they would tell you that!

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    HappyMommy28HappyMommy28 member
    imagebecca529:

    What do you mean "on your own"? Like, you don't have your family anymore to help? Its all part of being a mom, and a military wife. No one said it would be easy, but Im sure you already knew that. VA isn' THAT far away from FL, so you will still get holidays with your family.

    Also, Im amazed they ever pushed you to get married, and marital status has nohing to do with orders... so I dont know why they would tell you that!

    It does if she wants to be on the orders.  If they aren't married, she wouldn't be on the orders to go, and they wouldn't be able to live in base housing unless they were  married.  

    Good luck and if you do live in VA - its beautiful.  Look at the bright side and take advantage of all the history and beautiful scenery.  I took a trip their last summer and couldn't get over it.  Best of luck to you.

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    rickisue80rickisue80

    Being originally from FL I can tell you that the drive from VA to FL is not a long one. Is there any reason you can't move with him? If so, the Navy might be able to arrange something. However, if there's no real reason you can't move with him, I'm not really sure of the problem. VA is gorgeous and in about 8-10 hours in a car (2 on a plane) you can be back in FL visiting. One thing you'll definitely learn is that the military puts you where they need you. Hopefully this works out for you. But, you have got to be honest with your husband and let him know how you're feeling. If no one knows, no one can help you (or try to at least) and you'll have no one to blame but yourself if nothing gets resolved. JMO. I hope it does work out and you'll enjoy whatever assignment you guys receive.



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    lifestooshort128lifestooshort128

    I might be missing the boat completely on this one, but I think OP is a military member, herself! And now she's married to military, as well!! Is this the case, and why you can't move with him?

    In this case, I have no idea how they handle things, but I'd like to say thank you for serving our country (as a member or a wife!).  I just researched and learned only 15% of the active military are females, so I applaud you!!

    And CONGRATS on the marriage!!
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