Eco-Friendly Family

I think it's time...

DH and I have just had our first CIVIL conversation about nighttime parenting.  And we actually have a plan for how to handle it from now on.  I think we're going to be doing a modified CIO starting Friday night, once DH lowers the crib mattress all the way.  I'm not thrilled, but I have to get some sleep... and my nipples hurt *SO* bad from the last few nights.  It came down to a choice between weaning early or getting him to sleep in his crib.  And I think BFing longer will benefit him more than crying will hurt him.  I could really use some moral support and positive vibes starting Friday... I know I'll cry at least as much as he will...
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Re: I think it's time...

  • Maybe you could have dh do the listening and you sit out in the backyard or something to try to not be fully in it and to try to make it a little easier on you.  I hope he surprises you and does well going to bed on his own. 
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  • As hard as it is, you need to get some rest and it will help him become a great sleeper in the long run. 

    Hang in there! 

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  • When DS was about your LOs age we also had to make a change.  We were having constant night wakings and he would only nurse down.  What we did was I would nurse with the lights on in the nursery.  Then I would leave and DH would turn the lights down, change/diaper/pjs, then he would sway or bounce DS until he was calm and drowsy and lay him down.  He would then leave the room and if DS cried he would wait 30 seconds to a minute and go back in.  It took multiple times the first night but after about night 3 he would go down.  It worked wonders for going to bed and the night wakings.  He still isn't STTN but it is so much better.  G/L and I second going outside or soemwhere you can't hear the crying.
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  • you are right about needing some sleep. we all have a breaking point and you have to be able to take care of him the rest of the day. don't worry...while it will be difficult, he may surprise you and not cry as long as you think he will. i cracked at around 9 months too. don't be too hard on yourself. down the road a bit, you will be so glad you did this when he sleeps better and so do you.
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  • You may or may not recall that I succumbed to pressure from one of our pedis and my dh several times (starting as early as 4 months *cringe*) and tried to let ds cio.   I gave it a few nights at 4 months and told dh no more, we tried again at 6 months with a little better luck, but basically I said - if he is crying at least 3 or 4 hrs from the last time he ate, we should feed him.  I don't care if people say he SHOULD sttn, if there is a chance he's hungry, I'm not going to let him cry. 

    By 8 months, I felt more confident that he was getting enough calories during the day, I would make sure he had tylenol if his teeth were bothering him (poor kid got 6 teeth in 3 weeks) and then know, if he had a big bottle before bed that he was okay to cry a little bit because I knew I'd done everything for him that I could.  Even by the time I made that decision, he didn't really ever need to cry.  He loves his bed.  He goes down drowsy but awake 90% of the time at night and for naps.  Every once in a while he'll cry for more than 10 minutes, I'll go in, pick him up, rock him or walk him around the dark room until I can tell that he's relaxed again and put him down again.  He almost always goes to sleep then. 

    Some night he'll still wake up at 11 and at 4 or 5 - sometimes once, sometimes not at all.  From a kid who probably 2 months ago was waking up every 2-3 hours.  I don't really think it was because we let him cio... but I think not running to him every single time he started to cry, helped him learn to soothe himself a little bit.  Certainly, if he can't soothe himself, I'm going to go and help him because I feel like that's my job and if that means rocking him for 10 or 15 minutes to help comfort him, I'm sure as heck going to do it. 

    The logistics - yes, when we first tried cio I told dh I didn't want to do it and that he had to be in charge and I didn't want to be able to hear it and know that it was happening.  I think that's because I really felt like it wasn't okay.  Now, I'm okay letting him cry sometimes because I have the experience of knowing that he can cry a little and then stop and fall asleep.  Also, dh and I have the night split in two shifts (had to figure that out pretty quickly after I went back to work).  He takes 11p-3a and I take 3a - 7a.  It works well for us.

    Good luck.  You will feel so, SO much better and you will be amazed at how much happier your baby is when he sleeps more, too.  Plus, it sounds like your nips need a break!

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  • You'll make it through. I know it is so hard to listen to them cry at that age.
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