Trouble TTC

Cart before the Horse

Have you and YH talked about who will, or will not be invited into the delivery room?

We decided we want to be alone for the first day just to enjoy our little one alone and celebrate our new family together (while we have the help of the hospital staff). We plan to not tell anyone we are going to the hospital so there won't be any surprise visitors. 

I can't wait for that day!! 

June 2010-Lap
b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
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Re: Cart before the Horse

  • Just the two of us for the first one (plus hospital staff, of course). 
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  • We haven't talked about it yet, but now that you mention it.. I think this will be our topic of discussion tonight!

    I am SUPER close to my mom, I know with out a doubt I will be calling her like on our way to the hospital. She knows so much about our struggles with TTC now, that I would just have to call her as soon as I could.

    I am interested to see what everyone else says on this since I just never had thought that far out. 

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  • Good question!  I don't want anyone in the room with me during delivery other than DH.  I have a mom, stepmom, and a mother in law.  I can't pick just one and I don't want (and probably can't have) that many people in the room with me.  

     

    As for after delivery, if its all normal I'm pretty sure my/Dh's family will be there waiting or shortly after delivery.  I'm hoping friends will visit at some point while I'm in the hospital too.  It's going to be such a huge event if I ever actually get pregnant that I just want to share it with everyone asap.  

    Once we get home from the hospital, I might want a few days to DH and myself though.  Just to get acclimated to our new family. 

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  • It is a big deal in my family. My Mom (who taught childbirth classes for years and gave birth to 6 babies) flipped out seriously she went crazy at the hospital when one of my sister's didn't allow her in the delivery room. After seeing my Mom's reaction at that birth I have always thought I would just tell her a due date a few months later than the real due date, but that will just be to hard to consistently lie about for 9 months.
    June 2010-Lap
    b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
    b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
    IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
    b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
    PAIF/SAIF Welcome :)

    Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
    Homestudy 7/19/2011
    IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
    We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
    IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frostiesLilypie First Birthday tickers

  • I really don't know. I have gone back and forth from my mom to nobody. We'll see when the times comes.
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  • Just us in the delivery room. Our families live hours away anyway, so they'll probably just come afterwards to meet the baby.
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  • imagemikeandangie:
    Just us in the delivery room. Our families live hours away anyway, so they'll probably just come afterwards to meet the baby.

    This

  • It will probably just be me and DH. I sometimes thing I would like to have my mom, but DH sees that as unfair to MIL, and there's NO WAY I'm letting her in!
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  • For delivery it will be just me and DH. We said we would let our parents know when we get to the hospital and they can head that way since they live quite a ways away!  I can't wait for that day either!
  • imageinlovewithB:
    It is a big deal in my family. My Mom (who taught childbirth classes for years and gave birth to 6 babies) flipped out seriously she went crazy at the hospital when one of my sister's didn't allow her in the delivery room. After seeing my Mom's reaction at that birth I have always thought I would just tell her a due date a few months later than the real due date, but that will just be to hard to consistently lie about for 9 months.

    LOL!

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  • imagepetite chouette:

    imageinlovewithB:
    It is a big deal in my family. My Mom (who taught childbirth classes for years and gave birth to 6 babies) flipped out seriously she went crazy at the hospital when one of my sister's didn't allow her in the delivery room. After seeing my Mom's reaction at that birth I have always thought I would just tell her a due date a few months later than the real due date, but that will just be to hard to consistently lie about for 9 months.

    LOL!

    hehe...this 100% true! We are lying right now to everyone (telling them we are waiting for my body to heal from the lap before we start doing IUI cycles) and having such a hard time with it. I just didn't want to have to tell everyone all the little details and share BFN's IRL. I have learned I don't like to lie!

    June 2010-Lap
    b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
    b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
    IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
    b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
    PAIF/SAIF Welcome :)

    Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
    Homestudy 7/19/2011
    IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
    We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
    IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frostiesLilypie First Birthday tickers

  • imagecandymack:
    For delivery it will be just me and DH. We said we would let our parents know when we get to the hospital and they can head that way since they live quite a ways away!  I can't wait for that day either!

     Best of Luck getting to "that day" :) 

    June 2010-Lap
    b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
    b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
    IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
    b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
    PAIF/SAIF Welcome :)

    Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
    Homestudy 7/19/2011
    IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
    We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
    IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frostiesLilypie First Birthday tickers

  • DH of course and possibly my mom depending on where we are living. MIL has already told me she will be there, it should be fun breaking the news to her. Lucky for me that's DH's jobBig Smile
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  • We've actually discussed this. I might be the odd-ball out here, but I'd like to have DH, my mom and my step-dad. My mom and I are really close and I can't imagine going through labor without her support. (I'm the oldest of 5 so she's a "pro"). Though my step-dad and I didn't always have the best relationship, when push comes to shove, he's been an amazing father to me...not to mention, he's a pediatrician and it'll be nice to have a medical person in there as a bonus... DH is totally fine with me not wanting MIL in the room...he figures if he were the one giving birth, then he'd get to have a say! haha
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  • My mom was with me when I had DD (along with my BFF at the time and DD's dad) - although I was young and I really wanted my mom with me.  It's now 20 years later and would still kind of like my mom to be there.  I'm not sure if she'll want to though.  Obviously, DH will be there and possibly DD, since she is technically an adult.

    Definately not my MIL though!!  I can't imagine she would want to be there, but even if she did there is just no way I would be comfortable with that.  After the baby is born, I will want some time for just DH and I and baby to bond.  I am sure we will allow visitors later in the day though.   

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  • DH. Maybe mom. Depends on if she makes a fuss about wanting to be there. I'm pretty neutral on her being there and MIL passed away years ago so I don't have a lot of people beating down the door to be in the room with me.

    That said, I don't expect and wouldn't want family to stay away for a full day (or more) afterward. I remember how excited I was when my sister and DH's cousins (close as siblings) had their babies- I was crushed when my mom told me I wouldn't be able to come visit my sister for a day or two- I wanted to meet my niece so badly. DH's cousins set up a phone chain to announce "on the way to the hospital" and births and we'll do the same and who ever shows up is welcome to help us celebrate :)

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  • imageinlovewithB:

    Have you and YH talked about who will, or will not be invited into the delivery room?

    We decided we want to be alone for the first day just to enjoy our little one alone and celebrate our new family together (while we have the help of the hospital staff). We plan to not tell anyone we are going to the hospital so there won't be any surprise visitors. 

    I can't wait for that day!! 

    It will just be DH and I. Although, I may have my sister come in as she will have experienced L&D by the time I get PG. 

    We will refuse to tell the IL's until the baby is born. My MIL can be a drama freak and my FIL is never helpful 

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  • imageorange1414:
    It will probably just be me and DH. I sometimes think I would like to have my mom, but DH sees that as unfair to MIL, and there's NO WAY I'm letting her in!

     This!

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  • with DS it could have been a grandstand of people and I wouldn't have cared.  But we'll probably offer it to our mothers again...they were both there before.
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  • DH has decided that my BFF will be in the room with us. He has made up his mind already that she will be my birth coach (or whatever they're called)
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  • imageinlovewithB:

    We decided we want to be alone for the first day just to enjoy our little one alone and celebrate our new family together (while we have the help of the hospital staff). We plan to not tell anyone we are going to the hospital so there won't be any surprise visitors. 

    Exactly this. My family is all drama and they make everything about them. Plus my brother had so many random people going back and forth through my SILs delivery room when my niece was born two years ago that I made up my mind to keep them out. You would not believe the dozens of visitors he teted with info. WHen I arrived one night his ex-coworker and new girlfriend were waiting out in the hall for SIL to finish breastfeeding. No thank you!

    I'm glad there are some people out there who are super close to their families and want everyone there with them, but my family is nuts so I'll pass.

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  • My mom was there with us when I had my DD.  She stayed in the room the entire time (she even shared the pullout bed with MH) except when they took me for the emergency c-section.  It was awesome having her there and DH loved it too. 

    This time around I will have a planned c-section so it will be different.  My mom will probably stay at our house to help take care of DD and just visit us in the hospital.

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  • Just my husband.  I want to be able to focus and I would be distracted by our mothers, my sister, etc.  They are all drama mongers.

    I would secretly like DH to wait in the lobby because he's a hoverer and I DO NOT like being hovered over when I'm in pain.  He's also afraid of needles so I'm afraid he'll pass out and the medical staff will have to deal with him. He'd probably be okay with this if he wouldn't catch so much crap. 

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  • Definitely DH and I only in delivery room and family in the waiting room. Big Smile
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  • Just DH and I! But, if he is on duty when I go into labor then my mom will stay with me until he gets there.

     
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  • While I'm in labor, I don't care who is there. DH, my mom, and my sister will def be there. I'm sure my MIL will stop by. Maybe DH's aunt since they are really close (his godmother).

    Once I start to push it will only be DH, my mom and my sister. My DH will probably faint, so I need someone else there, haha! Afterwards, I'm sure we will have a lot of visitors and to be honest, I want them!

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  • We haven't discussed it, but I'm sure it will be just the two of us.  I would like my sister (who is also a nurse) to be there, but I've never told her.  In my Province they only allow the parents and one of the grandparents to be in the L & D room (for safety purposes).

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  • We haven't discussed it but there is NO WAY I want anyone in the delivery room but me and DH.  And the staff - I guess they can stay.
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  • OK, I'm late to the party but I like this question!

    It will probably just be me and DH.  I would really want one of my sisters with me, but if I asked her and not my mom, my other sister and my SIL they would probably never forgive me. 

     

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  • Ha! No, we haven't.  I'm very close to my mother and sister but would imagine I would keep the delivery room between my husband and me.
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  • imagegymnst1013:
    We haven't discussed it but there is NO WAY I want anyone in the delivery room but me and DH.  And the staff - I guess they can stay.

    Ditto to that!  If ANYONE else, maybe my twin sister, but then again - the other 2 sisters would feel left out - so someone would end up pissed off.

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