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Okay...so I'm not having the best night:/

(This is going to be really long, and really boring. It's not good drama.  It's more for me to get this off my chest than anything)

I very rarely air my dirty laundry on TB, but since I'm kind of the a$$hole here, I'm going to go for it.

Backstory: DH and I moved to my hometown last year. He is a police officer, and left department he loved ( next to his hometown in Massachusetts), to a department down here in southeastern CT. He HATES this new department, but has stuck with it because no other departments are hiring, for one, and secondly, the process of transfering to another department is incredibly rigorous and can take months.

DH has worked a lot of overtime at this job he hates to make up for my decreased income ( I only work 24 hours).  He doesn't ask much of me. So why do I keep fvkcing up his simple requests?  I always seem to forget things he asks me to do - from laundry, to grocery requests, etc. 

Today, he asked me to turn off the sprinkler before I left to go to my parents house.Yup, guess what I forgot. Half the seed he spread today washed away - roughly $50 dollars worth, to put an amount on it. He worked for hours on it...and because I'm an airhead, he has to spend another $50 bucks to do it all again.

Also, I went to visit my grandmother tonight, and she lives in the town where he is a cop. I didn't even think to call him to stop by ( he's on duty )...I simply wasn't thinking. So when he called to ask me if I had turned the sprinkler off ( at which time I gave him the bad news that I hadn't), I had already left my grandmother's, and he said "Well, thanks for calling me." He wanted me to come visit him at work with Bridget, but I had to go home and turn the sprinklers off...by the time I did that and got Bridget fed, it was too close to her bedtime to go back out.

All he wanted tonight was to see his daughter, for there to be one bright spot in his shiitty night, and I fvcked that up too. During that phone call, I could hear it in his voice...the disappointment, the annoyance, and the feeling of underappreciation. And it's killing me, because he's amazing, and I appreciate him SO MUCH...but I guess I'm not great at showing it.

I called him in tears a few hours ago, to apologize. He kept saying "It's fine, " in a tone of voice that indicated that it wasn't fine. He sounded tired, annoyed, dejected. He hung up without saying "I love you". 

He just texted me - all it said was "working until 3:30am". Part of me thinks he just doesn't want to come home. Why would he, when all that is waiting at home for him is a wife who has been putting him on the back burner for the past four months?

I'm sorry I'm so whiny tonight.  I just feel terrible. I feel like he uprooted his whole life for me, and I can't even do simple things to show how much I care, and how much it means to me that he is busting his ass to make sure that our family has a good life.

If you got to the end of this without rolling your eyes, you're a saint. Thank you for your patience. I'm going to eat some jalepeno kettle chips and feel sorry for myself a little bit more.

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Re: Okay...so I'm not having the best night:/

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    Uhhh, blow job?
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    imagesleepingbeauty825:
    Uhhh, blow job?

    Bwahahaha!

    Yeah, I guess that goes without saying. Even the angriest of  husbands will accept blow jobs, right?

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    i constantly beat myself up for things and it's such a waste of time and energy. what's done is done. let him be pissed...take the suggestion from above if you like and then let it go. it's easier said than done, i know, but we're all human and i swear, our babies eat our brains from the inside during pregnancy and we're left with very little.
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    imagesoko987:

    imagesleepingbeauty825:
    Uhhh, blow job?

    Bwahahaha!

    Yeah, I guess that goes without saying. Even the angriest of  husbands will accept blow jobs, right?

    . As far as I know! Gets me out of lots of trouble. ;)
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    I think it is really easy to get overwhelmed taking care of our LO's and we let things slip our minds.  I think it is a good sign that you realize what you are doing, how it makes him feel and that you care about that.  I would sit him down and tell him what you just told us.  Maybe go out of your way to do a few special things for him to make him feel appreciated.  Don't be too hard on yourself.

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    haaaahaaa! you guys crack me up! soko, i think you're being hard on yourself.  marriage is give and take and i'm sure there have been times when you gave more and he gave less.  hopefully he appreciates all you are doing to take care of your dd.  it's not easy, especially at first. ((hugs))

    can you have a candid conversation with him and let him know how much you do appreciate him, even though he may not be getting that message right now? 

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    I honestly believe that being pregnant and then the mother to a baby stunts all brain power.  We are so focused on the baby and all the babies needs and wants that we forget to tend to the needs and wants of ourselves and those around us.  I feel sorry for your DH right now because I can relate to feeling unappreciated, however, I also know how if feels to be a brain dead mother.  Hoping you find a balance and when you do....share your secret Wink  And then, if all else fails....refer to the pps Surprise
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    Momma brain sucks. Bad.

    So apologize, make him his favorite food, take care of a few of his household chores so that he doesn't have to bother with them, leave him a sweet little note on the steering wheel of his car...

    And forgive yourself. We all 'eff up. 

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    imagesleepingbeauty825:
    Uhhh, blow job?

    This is exactly my thinking too. lol

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    imagesoko987:

    imagesleepingbeauty825:
    Uhhh, blow job?

    Bwahahaha!

    Yeah, I guess that goes without saying. Even the angriest of  husbands will accept blow jobs, right?

    Right. LOL

    But your not whining and i would say you can't fix the past but you can maybe plan to show him just how much he means to you in a way that is special to him

    *HUGS*

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    broomybroomy member
    :::hugs::: Don't be so hard on yourself, soko. It's hard taking care of a baby and then also remembering all that other stuff we're supposed to take care of. Buy hubby a six-pack of his favorite beer, let him unwind from work, and follow SB's advice. ;) Maybe go pick up the replacement seeds yourself so it's one less step he has to worry about when redoing the lawn.
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    I agree. Meet him at the door with just a smile....then, blow job. Works everytime...
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    imagesleepingbeauty825:
    Uhhh, blow job?

    Ha!  I love you! 

     

    I know you're feeling down tonight, but you made a mistake.....I do sh** like that all the time.  The fact that you're this upset indicates that you care deeply for your DH.  

    It sucks that he hates his job, my DH went through that months ago...he hated it so much it started to make him sick.  He is at a much better one now...but it sounds like yours has to stick it out. 

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    Ladies, you all rock. I know I'm overreacting a little, but I don't like it when I hurt the ones I love, even a little bit.

    So...blow job it is. And probably a nice little "I appreciate you" card for when he wakes up tomorrow.

    Does Hallmark make a blow job voucher/ appreciation card? Because talk about two birds with one stone...

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    I was just thinking this today. DH stopped suddenly in front of me walking into Target this afternoon and I stubbed my foot so badly on the bottom of his shoe that my nail bed was bleeding. (It feels wonderful)

    As we're walking out of the store I go and sit in the truck feeling sorry for myself allowing him to get the kids in the car. Then I remember that his carpel tunnel is acting up very badly lately and he's lifting 22 pounds of Lily into the truck with no complaints. His wrist is swollen because it's so enflamed and I'm crying over a toe.

    That's the first of many. I feel like an ungrateful ass most of the time, too.

     {{hugs}] Can you set a reminder to pop up on your phone twice a day? I know it sounds silly, but what abut having it say: "What did DH ask you to do? Do it!" Just the simple fact of being reminded may help.

    This is a test. This is only a test.
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    Not that I know of, but I bought some of those "sexy coupons" at Barnes & Noble once and slip those to DH every once in awhile. Just a thought...
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    imageHotSauceonaStick:

    I was just thinking this today. DH stopped suddenly in front of me walking into Target this afternoon and I stubbed my foot so badly on the bottom of his shoe that my nail bed was bleeding. (It feels wonderful)

    This is literally my worst nightmare. I have extreme paranoia about it, I can't walk behind anybody if my toes are unsheathed.
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    imageHotSauceonaStick:

    I was just thinking this today. DH stopped suddenly in front of me walking into Target this afternoon and I stubbed my foot so badly on the bottom of his shoe that my nail bed was bleeding. (It feels wonderful)

    As we're walking out of the store I go and sit in the truck feeling sorry for myself allowing him to get the kids in the car. Then I remember that his carpel tunnel is acting up very badly lately and he's lifting 22 pounds of Lily into the truck with no complaints. His wrist is swollen because it's so enflamed and I'm crying over a toe.

    That's the first of many. I feel like an ungrateful ass most of the time, too.

     {{hugs}] Can you set a reminder to pop up on your phone twice a day? I know it sounds silly, but what abut having it say: "What did DH ask you to do? Do it!" Just the simple fact of being reminded may help.

    Ohhh...owww....

    Yeah, since having this kid, I am a complete airhead. I've started adding lots of reminders to my iPod...I guess I'll have to add "Buy DH yogurt, and then give blow job" to my list of reminders.

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    imagesoko987:
    imageHotSauceonaStick:

    I was just thinking this today. DH stopped suddenly in front of me walking into Target this afternoon and I stubbed my foot so badly on the bottom of his shoe that my nail bed was bleeding. (It feels wonderful)

    As we're walking out of the store I go and sit in the truck feeling sorry for myself allowing him to get the kids in the car. Then I remember that his carpel tunnel is acting up very badly lately and he's lifting 22 pounds of Lily into the truck with no complaints. His wrist is swollen because it's so enflamed and I'm crying over a toe.

    That's the first of many. I feel like an ungrateful ass most of the time, too.

     {{hugs}] Can you set a reminder to pop up on your phone twice a day? I know it sounds silly, but what abut having it say: "What did DH ask you to do? Do it!" Just the simple fact of being reminded may help.

    Ohhh...owww....

    Yeah, since having this kid, I am a complete airhead. I've started adding lots of reminders to my iPod...I guess I'll have to add "Buy DH yogurt, and then give blow job" to my list of reminders.

    I have the BJ reminder. Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday.

    This is a test. This is only a test.
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    imageHotSauceonaStick:
    imagesoko987:
    imageHotSauceonaStick:

    I was just thinking this today. DH stopped suddenly in front of me walking into Target this afternoon and I stubbed my foot so badly on the bottom of his shoe that my nail bed was bleeding. (It feels wonderful)

    As we're walking out of the store I go and sit in the truck feeling sorry for myself allowing him to get the kids in the car. Then I remember that his carpel tunnel is acting up very badly lately and he's lifting 22 pounds of Lily into the truck with no complaints. His wrist is swollen because it's so enflamed and I'm crying over a toe.

    That's the first of many. I feel like an ungrateful ass most of the time, too.

     {{hugs}] Can you set a reminder to pop up on your phone twice a day? I know it sounds silly, but what abut having it say: "What did DH ask you to do? Do it!" Just the simple fact of being reminded may help.

    Ohhh...owww....

    Yeah, since having this kid, I am a complete airhead. I've started adding lots of reminders to my iPod...I guess I'll have to add "Buy DH yogurt, and then give blow job" to my list of reminders.

    I have the BJ reminder. Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday.

    LMFAO.

    ( And yes, this was worth the skinny quotes. I <3 skinny quotes!!)

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    imagesleepingbeauty825:
    Uhhh, blow job?

    LMAO...this was my first thought too!

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