Last name???

eibey

So my baby girl, Madison, is due in 5 weeks. I am planning on giving her my last name because I know that I have given up so much to already give her the best possible life, and I don't know if her father will decide to grow up and be a father to her. He is incredibly angry that I don't think she needs his last name. How did you all decide on whose last name to give your child when you weren't married to the father??

 I just need a few single mommies opinions!

*megeliza*

I can't give too much of a personal experience opinion since DS has not only STBXH last name but the same entire name, but I feel that if you are feeling that her father isn't going to play much of a role in her life and you feel it would be best for her to have your name then use your name.  You can always choose later on to change her last name should he actually step up and be a good father.  However, if you give her his last name and he is in no way involved you would then have to have his permission to change her name I believe and I doubt you will get it. 

 

nanabanana06

I am giving birth to her, taking care of her, and X only has to pay child support each month... so she is getting my last name. If we had stayed together she would have his last name. However, we aren't together so she will have mine. Not like it's a huge difference between our names though. lol. I just have to take my last name change an H to an N and add T at the end and... Voila! We have have my X's last name lol.

Mama2S-K-M

Yours.

 He has no say.  He can be mad if he wants...oh well. 

I made the decision to give my oldest DD my last name and I never once had second thoughts about it.

Malli Jane

My DD has my last name, I was on the fence the whole time about what to do but since we weren't married and he wasn't present at the birth it made my choice an easy one. His name isn't even on her bc. I am extremely happy she has my last name.

hdy2102

eibey:

So my baby girl, Madison, is due in 5 weeks. I am planning on giving her my last name because I know that I have given up so much to already give her the best possible life, and I don't know if her father will decide to grow up and be a father to her. He is incredibly angry that I don't think she needs his last name. How did you all decide on whose last name to give your child when you weren't married to the father??

 I just need a few single mommies opinions!

My DS has his father's name, we got married soon after (or else he would have had my name).  My LO I am currently carrying has a different father than my DS but will have our last name.

KrispiKreme

I don't want to offend any of the ladies on here by saying I'm a single mommy (BF sees LO twice a week) but I am an unmarried mommy. I went with my last name for my LO and have not regretted my decision. If we decide to get married in the future and he's a good dad to LO, I'll change both of our names at that time. Until then, I'm doing 99.9% of the work so my last name it is...

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carrieannew

I have a 12 year old daughter has my last name, so it was simple we would all share the same last name.

My son's father felt I was taking away his chance to bond because of the last name.

 

belle204

I hyphenated and regret it. I would go back and give her my last name only. There is no need to saddle a child with the last name of a guy who may or may not be involved.

bellaleanne

I think if you're not married with the same last name, there is no good reason to give your baby their father's last name...unless you just like it better or something

You carry the baby, you're the primary caregiver, so if you want the baby to have your last name then that's what the baby has.

I'm of the opinion that the mother gets final say in the baby's name anyways...but I admit to a natural bias. I generally take the mother's side in most parenting disagreements. 

 

Danica

I'm not married to DS's daddy, but he is a HUGE part of our lives (sees him every single day/night).  I was adament about DS having both our names, but not hyphenated.  So, his name is Brady James mylastname hislastname.  I feel bad putting him through that once he gets in school with having two last names, but I figure...times are changing, more kids will have this, I'm sure.  He's a part of both of us so we felt this was a good thing to do.

BUT...if he wasn't an involved parent, no way.  DS would have had my name only then.

eibey

Thanks for your input ladies.

 I agree completely, I am doing just about ALL the work, but I wasn't sure if anyone could understand a man's opinion of having his last name even without much involvement. Your opinions really help solidify my decision. I just wasn't sure if it was selfish to feel like my baby should have MY name!

BMenz

I'm in the other boat. ds has his dad's last name. there was no question about that I would give it to him. he has his visitation and he pays his support but i wouldn't change anything about not giving him my last name....that, and saying ds' name out loud with my last name just doesn't sound right.

jayrabbitt

give your baby your last name. It is not his right to have your daughter have his name, especially if he is absent- speaking from experience- give her your last name

haleyw458

BMenz:

I'm in the other boat. ds has his dad's last name. there was no question about that I would give it to him. he has his visitation and he pays his support but i wouldn't change anything about not giving him my last name....that, and saying ds' name out loud with my last name just doesn't sound right.

This. X and I were together when DS was born and I never thought for him to have my last name. The way I see it, why should he have my last name anymore than X's? 

turtle1120

DD will have my last name.  No doubt about it.  I will be taking care of her, providing most of the financial support for her, and I'll always be the one taking her to doctor's appointments and school.  It would make no sense for her to have DB's last name.