how to ease DH's fears about sex?

kimoly

Hey ladies,

So, here I was thinking our sex life had dwindled because of my nausea and exhaustion and DH was being a champ and being patient - well, last night he shyly admitted how he feels worried he will somehow hurt the baby during sex. It didn't help that we had some spotting with sex at the very beginning. I tried to reassure him that the baby is super-protected and that there's no way we could shake the baby loose or anything like that (we're not that wild!) I was wondering if any other ladies had any suggestions for comforting DH's on this. I actually think it is kind of sweet that he is concerned, and I figure I should be just as patient with him as he has been with me, but thoughts are appreciated.

bmp84

DH was all worried at first and our sex life was pretty normal. Then the m/s struck and we probably went 2 or more weeks with nothing. That little dry spell took his worries away and we've done it maybe once a week until the last week when the m/s started to get a little better.

My sister's DH was totally weirded out by having sex with her when she was PG, so at one of her OB visits, she just made the point of asking the OB (with DH there) if sex was okay and her OB went into the long drawn out explanation about why it was okay, etc. My BIL was totally embarassed at first, but because the OB was so direct about it, he wasn't so scared about having sex. 

kimoly

bmp84:

DH was all worried at first and our sex life was pretty normal. Then the m/s struck and we probably went 2 or more weeks with nothing. That little dry spell took his worries away and we've done it maybe once a week until the last week when the m/s started to get a little better.

My sister's DH was totally weirded out by having sex with her when she was PG, so at one of her OB visits, she just made the point of asking the OB (with DH there) if sex was okay and her OB went into the long drawn out explanation about why it was okay, etc. My BIL was totally embarassed at first, but because the OB was so direct about it, he wasn't so scared about having sex. 

I did ask my ob this (with DH there) after our spotting issues - she basically said sex was ok, but then went into this slightly scary description of how semen causes the cervix to open in some women and said for that reason some people end up needing to use condoms while pg. But she basically said you would feel the cramping, which hasn't been a problem for me.

bmp84

AHHHH not helping, OB lady!

My last resort suggestion would be lots of foreplay so that his brain heads south and he doesn't think about it too much 

kimoly

bmp84:

AHHHH not helping, OB lady!

My last resort suggestion would be lots of foreplay so that his brain heads south and he doesn't think about it too much 

Always a great idea! And I keep having sexy dreams about him, so I think my 2nd tri sexiness is kicking in early, lol...

bmp84

At least your sex dreams are about him! Mine aren't and it makes me feel guilty! There wasn't much sexiness for me in 1st tri... but it's making a comeback as I'm nearing 2nd tri!

TiffanyTheMom

Let him know his manhood would have to look like one of those jumbo pencils- you know, the 2ft long ones that are at least an inch in diameter and have a huge pink eraser at the end- to get to the baby. And if he DID look like that, you'd be sure to tell him he'd hurt you. He would probably kill you if he looked like that. Since you're not dead, I'd assume things are pretty normal down there for him.