S/O babies "before" marriage

mrgn

Does this woman not know anyone who has purposefully had a baby on their own? Whether it was through adoption or IVF? I couldn't make myself read all the responses.

Man + Woman + Ring doesn't always (maybe even usually...) mean happy, well adjusted children. Just sayin.

peeps61308

Who kows, as long as the kids are taken care of, who really cares. I guess ideally there would be a mom and dad crazy in love who ended up rocking on the porch together when they are 60, but lets face it, we do not live in an ideal world. Had I known how hard this was all going to be would I make the same decision (DD was VERY planned)...ABSOLUTELY!! DD is the reason I have made all the decisions I have and I don't regret any of them.

mrgn

peeps61308:

Who kows, as long as the kids are taken care of, who really cares. I guess ideally there would be a mom and dad crazy in love who ended up rocking on the porch together when they are 60, but lets face it, we do not live in an ideal world. Had I known how hard this was all going to be would I make the same decision (DD was VERY planned)...ABSOLUTELY!! DD is the reason I have made all the decisions I have and I don't regret any of them.

My DD came about because BC failed (well, more like my Doc failed by not telling me side effects of BC and antibiotics). Doesn't mean I should have married her father before, during, or after I got pregnant. Facts of life people. I don't care if she's traditional. If I were, my parents would have sent me to live with the nuns and no one would have known DD existed. I like how my life turned out! And I thank God EVERY DAY that I didn't marry her dad. (:

ShanJosh777

Can you point me in the direction of what this is referring to?  I went over to some of the other boards to try to find it, but there is so much drama I can't seem to pin it down, lol.

achase123

Ditto Peeps.  DS was completely planned.  What wasn't planned was the way that Super Douche started behaving after I got pregnant.  It was the scariest thing in the world to me when our marriage started to fall apart because I realized I couldn't control where my life was headed.  I remember one night he hadn't come home and I finally confided in my parents because my car battery was dead and my dad had to jump it.  My mom said "Ann Marie, I think you know what you have to do...you don't have a choice".  I was terrified, but I knew in my heart she was right.  My marriage was over.  He didn't care about me or our unborn child enough to even come home.

You never know what curveballs life will throw you.  You can try to plan for everything but often times things don't work out the way you would have thought or hoped.  That being said, there isn't ONE second that I don't thank my lucky stars that I have DS.  He is worth everything I went through with SD and am still going through.

haleyw458

ShanJosh777:

Can you point me in the direction of what this is referring to?  I went over to some of the other boards to try to find it, but there is so much drama I can't seem to pin it down, lol.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/1/40433333/ShowThread

There's also a post on this board called "We would love to hear from you" that has to do with it.

nanabanana06

I'm sorry, but not every baby is planned and not every couple is married. I was engaged, on birth control, and was starting my career. I still ended up getting pregnant. It's not my fault that the series of events afterwards didn't end in marriage. My ex has psychological problems. I never knew he would end up like that after being taken off his meds. However, whats done is done and my LO will raised better without him. He will probably just turn into what my dad was (hopefully). The you see him once a year, have fun, got spoiled, and then shipped home.

Not all marriages make good, stable, and healthy homes for children. 

hdy2102

Nana_Osaki06:

I'm sorry, but not every baby is planned and not every couple is married. I was engaged, on birth control, and was starting my career. I still ended up getting pregnant. It's not my fault that the series of events afterwards didn't end in marriage. My ex has psychological problems. I never knew he would end up like that after being taken off his meds. However, whats done is done and my LO will raised better without him. He will probably just turn into what my dad was (hopefully). The you see him once a year, have fun, got spoiled, and then shipped home.

Not all marriages make good, stable, and healthy homes for children. 

Agreed!  I was 18 when I had my DS, total accident, condom broke, but nonetheless I was happy about it.  I married my DS's father, later divorced him a year later because he was a worthless, pathetic excuse of a man. Now, my DS I'm currently pregnant with was planned.  Things were great, the guy was amazing, UNTIL I got pregnant and let his bi-polar/depression take control.  I'm not the type of woman to take any man's shiiit, won't do it, what does that show my two boys if I were to take a man's crap, that they could treat woman unfairly, I DON'T THINK SO.  So that woman who posted that nonsense on the 3-6 can kiss my SINGLE, 22 WEEK PREGNANT behind. =D

 

daudetk

mrgn:

My DD came about because BC failed (well, more like my Doc failed by not telling me side effects of BC and antibiotics). Doesn't mean I should have married her father before, during, or after I got pregnant. Facts of life people. I don't care if she's traditional. If I were, my parents would have sent me to live with the nuns and no one would have known DD existed. I like how my life turned out! And I thank God EVERY DAY that I didn't marry her dad. (:

 

Antibiotics got me pregnant as well... dontcha just love pharmacists?! .. actually I do, because I have a sweet little boy to show for it.

peanutontheway

I'd rather my daughter have one happy parent than two miserable ones.

 

ETA: I got pregnant with DD VERY soon after meeting BD.  He asked me to marry him.  My response, "are you high?"  

transcriber87

LOL@ that stupid post!!  I was on the Nuvaring and was put on an antibiotic for an infection...Now my sweet girl is 16 months old!  I can not tell you guys how many times I was on an antibiotic with BC and no pregnancy.  I know deep down in my heart, that it happened for a reason...to save my life!  I had started drinking heavily because my uncle killed my aunt and then himself, leaving my 4 cousins behind and that was the way I was dealing with it.  When I first met "donor", we were friends for over a year before I considered dating him.  The rest is history, I am not getting off topic much, but life isn't all puppy dogs and rainbows for some people!! Ugh!